Text: Li Baiying (Vice President of Dalian Chinese Culture Promotion Association)
Summer vacation is here, will you let your children do some housework? In real life, many parents do not know the benefits of labor and the seriousness of the problem of not working. Today, let’s discuss how lazy children are raised?
Parent A : When ’s child was young, I paid attention to her art and memorized Tang poetry. I was so focused on that that I didn’t know that what she actually had to learn at that time was housework and labor. My mother-in-law and I were working at home, and she was actually willing to come over and help. When we were mopping the floor, she came over to grab the rag; when we were rolling dough, she came over to grab the rolling pin. She was very proactive. But I said at that time: "Go, go, don't make trouble for me, don't make trouble for me." The reason why the child is neglectful must be that he has not done housework since he was a child, and he has not been given the opportunity to exercise. Later, when he grew up, he made mistakes whenever he did things. I think this is an adult problem.
Parent B : The first is the pampering of parents, who do not give their children a chance to exercise, take care of everything, and kill their children's hard-working nature. Secondly, parents don’t like their children working, and they think they can’t do well at this or that, and they feel uneasy. Third, they believe that learning is the most important and do not know that labor is also growth. Fourth, parents themselves have suffered hardship before, and they don’t want their children to suffer again. They are afraid that their children will be wronged, so they do everything they can and don’t let their children do anything they can do.
A certain parent C: How are lazy children taught? There are three main points: The first is to teach by example. First of all, parents are relatively lazy people and are unwilling to do housework at home and hire part-time workers. Children learn this from an early age. The second is the educational philosophy of parents. They have different concerns. They are either afraid that their children will not do well, or they only care about their children's academic performance. As long as they study well, they don't have to worry about anything at home. The third is the education method. Before the child does housework, he is not taught the correct methods; when the child is doing housework, he is not accompanied and encouraged in time; and afterwards, he is not taught good behavior in a timely manner. The child thinks that if I go to buy groceries and I get scolded when I come back, I won’t want to go there again next time.
A certain parent Ding : I found three points. The first is wrong love. They are afraid that their children will suffer hardship and do not let them work. Second, they find it troublesome for their children to work and do not give them the opportunity to work. Third, there is a conceptual error in thinking that learning is the most important and there is no need to work.
Indeed, children do not like to work because of their parents’ educational concepts.
Li Dazhao said: "I think the best way to seek happiness in life is to respect labor. All happiness can be obtained through labor, and all suffering can be relieved by labor." Going deeper, labor also nourishes children's minds. Because when working, people will focus and forget themselves. When they focus and forget themselves, the bad emotions in the inner world will slowly be discharged.
Some families also spank their children. After spanking, they let them go to work or go out for a while, so that their emotions disappear. Most people who have worked since childhood have strong bodies, steady eyes, and calm minds.
Children who have never worked, especially girls, have light bodies, light movements, and light eyes. Many of children's values are cultivated through labor.
In the past, we Chinese people taught farming and reading to be passed down from family to family. There is a couplet at the door of the old house, which reads, "Inherited from our ancestors, we pass on diligence and thrift, and teach our descendants to follow the right path of farming and reading." Two important things are farming and reading. Reading can improve your understanding and self-cultivation, and labor can strengthen your body. , nourish the heart. Cultivated land allows people to interact with the world and experience the growth process of crops. If people know how to be grateful and respect nature, their hearts will be at ease, grounded, and rooted. If people can wait and be patient, when people and the earth are together, they will slowly return and experience life through labor. Then through reading, you can understand.
Nowadays, some children have become fat, some are thin, and don’t like to eat. They have this disease and that disease. Go to the hospital to see what disease? The disease of not working. As soon as he works, the body's circulation naturally opens. People can adjust themselves as they grow, and their body and mind can heal themselves..
Labor can strengthen the body and nourish the mind.
Excerpted from "Teaching Children Properly: Sixteen Chinese Studies Lessons That Parents Must Read" (written by Li Baiying)
