text | Cheats
As social animals, humans can never live without social interaction, even if they have children. Even because of their children, some unsociable stay-at-home parents have to find ways to change and create social conditions for their children.
A best friend of mine is one of them. Not long ago, she encountered great confusion while "trying to communicate".
It's summer vacation now. In order to find playmates for her children, she enthusiastically invited the children from the neighbors upstairs and downstairs to play at home and entertained her warmly. As a result, the children from the neighbors liked coming to play, but for some reason, she ignored her children. My parents were "offended".
When the neighbors who went up and downstairs met her and greeted her, they reacted lightly. The neighbor's child also didn't come back for several days. One time I met the child alone and asked the child, "My parents won't let me go."
This made my best friend very puzzled. What did I do wrong?
It stands to reason that people in cities are indifferent and many people do not welcome other children to play in their homes. But she is not only patient but also very tolerant. Children can play freely at home and she will not be nagging like some parents. He kept saying that he couldn't touch this or that, and he even offered food and drinks to entertain him. How could he end up with such a result?
I asked her, "Is it that the children are playing at your house and refuse to leave, and even adults can't urge them?"
She thought about it and said, "That's true. Some children want to come and play whenever they are free, and they don't want to play when my children are not at home." I want to stay at my house.”
This may be the key to the problem. Because many times, parents cannot see how their children feel. If a child stays at someone else's house and refuses to leave, which affects the parents' own "education" plan, then for the parents, the hospitality and enthusiasm of this family will become a trouble, so they will dislike it.
Their inner subtext may be like this:
"Children can't play all the time, they also have to learn!"
I remember that my children also invited a classmate from their class to play at home once or twice. Every time I tell her parents, her mother always looks very determined. After the children arrived at my house, their mother couldn't help but tell me on the phone, "Don't let them play all the time. Let them read books and learn to read."
I smiled bitterly, isn't it just for fun that children are willing to go to other people's homes? Which child is willing to accept an invitation just because he wants to study at someone else's home?
Nowadays, parents attach great importance to education, and many parents spend all their time on their children’s spare time. In their view, the one or two hours that children spend playing at other people's homes can be used to do many more valuable things. For example, do some papers, listen to some English, or even read a book.
They are very distressed when they encounter a family whose children want to play no matter what, but cannot come back even if they shout.
Actually, I don’t recommend always inviting other people’s children to play at home, and I don’t really recommend that your own children leave their parents’ supervision and go to other people’s homes to play.
Family is a relatively private place. People who invite playmates will inevitably have to bear the trouble of being messed up by their children. Parents have no way of knowing what the invited children are like in other people's homes and whether they are being bullied. In addition, there is a safety risk. Children are harassed and violated, many of which are committed by acquaintances.
If you want your children to play more and socialize more with others, parents can take their children to public places. Under the supervision of their parents, if their children have been wronged or if there are any safety risks, the parents can detect and stop them in time.
[Does your child have many regular playmates? 】
Senior nanny and psychological counselor. He understands parenting and psychology, and also pays attention to mothers' self-growth and family management, and strives to be a caring person for mothers.
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