Some time ago, my best friend suddenly lamented, "I always thought it was easier to raise a daughter, but as the children get older, I find it harder to raise them."
My best friend said this, and my husband and I actually feel the same way. The eldest child in the family is now reaching puberty and has an extremely sensitive personality. Sometimes our unintentional words will make her uncomfortable for several days. She is also unwilling to communicate with adults and will lock herself in her room when she is unhappy.
The pictures and pictures in this article are all from the Internet, and the pictures and texts have nothing to do with
's "abnormality", which made my husband and I a little overwhelmed. Every time we communicated with her, we were very careful, for fear of damaging the child's self-confidence.
How can we educate our children so that they can grow up smoothly and make them confident and independent in the future?
Regarding this issue, parents should pay attention to several critical periods in the development of a girl's character -
There are five critical periods in the development of a girl's character
Australia's famous family issues expert Steve Biddulph in "Raising Girls" A book mentioned that girls have to go through five stages of growth.
At each different stage, a child's physical and mental development will undergo different changes, and his or her character will continue to improve. Parents should play a correct role in guiding their daughters at different stages, which often helps their children develop good characters and will not easily go astray in the future.
Five critical periods, parents should do one thing each
Let me give you a detailed introduction to the five critical periods of children's character development and what parents should be prepared for.
The first one (0~2 years old): the critical period for establishing a sense of security
We found that in real life, some girls have very strong hearts. They dare to think and do, are not afraid of failure and blow, and can bravely express their opinions and ideas. , do not care about the eyes of others.
By analyzing the behavior of these children, you will find that their bravery comes from having a sufficient sense of security.
The establishment of a child's sense of security is the basis for forming a confident and independent personality.
Research has found that the period from 4 months after a child is born to less than 2 years old is a critical period for the development of a sense of security and attachment relationships. During this process, children have to cut their psychological umbilical cord with their parents and begin to establish a connection with the outside world.
In the process of moving forward, children's psychology is full of various unstable factors, and they are prone to negative emotions such as anxiety, fear, and depression.
need the full care and attention of their parents to make them feel that they are loved and that the world is safe. Only on this basis can children dare to move forward bravely.
During this period, parents must do one thing well: respond to their daughters in a timely manner.
gives children unconditional love and tolerance, responds to their needs in a timely manner, allows them to grow up in a loving environment, allows them to feel the warmth of their parents, and lays a solid foundation for her future character development.
The second (2 to 5 years old): the critical period for establishing curiosity
This stage is the critical period for the development of children's curiosity.
According to data, a child can ask a total of 40,000 "whys" between the ages of 2 and 5. They maintain a high degree of curiosity about the world and begin to try to explore the outside world. In the process, they develop creativity and gain confidence. .
During this period, parents must do one thing well: let their daughters go and "try and make mistakes."
Many parents are always worried that girls will be injured, and dare not let their children try many things. Moreover, coupled with the traditional stereotype blessing, they believe that girls should be quiet and well-behaved, play with dolls at home every day, and learn musical instruments. .
In fact, this undoubtedly limits the possibility of girls' all-round development in the future, and also makes children lose their fighting spirit and become timid in doing things.
suggests that parents let their children try. Girls can also be adventurers. They are not "fragile".
The third period (5 to 10 years old): the critical period for establishing social skills
At this stage, the daughter will enter elementary school and the childโs social circle will begin to form. They will have to make friends and learn how to interact with others in the process. sense, know how to respect others and respect yourself.
During this period, parents must do one thing well: guide their daughters to interact with others correctly.
What needs special attention is that some school bullying, when it occurs among girls, is often more hidden. It tends to be verbal violence and group isolation. It is difficult for parents to detect it, but it is very harmful to children.
Therefore, at this stage, parents need to pay more attention to their children's emotional changes and the dynamic development of their friends.
promptly responds to children's social confusion, such as what to do when they are rejected, isolated, and bullied. If you find that your child has abnormalities, you should communicate with the child quickly to avoid leaving a shadow on her psychology and making it difficult to build self-confidence in the future.
The fourth one (10 to 14 years old): the critical period of finding oneself
When girls reach this age, they are about to enter puberty. They tend to be relatively emotionally sensitive and care too much about the evaluation of themselves by the outside world. In order to get the approval of others, they often It is easy to "please" and lose yourself.
During this period, parents must do one thing well: help their daughters establish a correct self-understanding.
If children have a strong sense of self-worth and can have a correct understanding of themselves, they will tend to be stronger internally and will not easily shrink back when encountering difficulties, and will be less likely to be attracted by external temptations.
Therefore, parents should help their children establish correct self-understanding, find opportunities to encourage, support and respect their children's decisions, give them full affirmation, let them learn to choose, and discover their own personal value in their choices.
The fifth (14 to 18 years old): the critical period for learning to "take responsibility"
Children at this stage are about to become adults and need to face the test of the outside world. They need to make their own decisions on many things and be responsible for their own future. .
During this period, parents must do one thing well: teach their daughters to stay "sober."
Set yourself a future plan and goals, and be responsible for the results of the execution. As you grow, you must learn to stay awake and protect your personal safety. This mentality will help your children go further in the future.
