A few days ago, a mother left a message saying that when her child came home from school, he didn't even have time to change out of his clothes. He sank into the sofa, picked up the remote control, and started watching TV.
It wasn't until he was about to go to sleep that he remembered that he hadn't finished his homework yet. He spent a long time writing it, which made him sleep very late. He put down his pen and fell asleep. There was no review, preview, or organization.
When the mother was excited, she said, "I really want to smash the TV."
To solve this problem, don't place your hopes on it to change in a day or two, let alone dwell on it overnight.
If it were me, I would do this. When the child wants to watch TV, I will not stop him blindly. This will cause him to feel disgusted and rebellious. We might as well ask him which TV show he likes best after watching TV and what time does this show start?
Letās write down the show time so as not to miss it later. In fact, I also like this TV show, so we can watch it together. Now it's time to do homework. Let's do homework first tomorrow. When the show is about to start, can we watch the show together at the same time?
In this way, you may still go to bed very late that day, but the problem has already occurred, and we need time to correct it slowly.
After that, I will use the reverse incentive method to praise the children's sense of responsibility. You are so awesome. I still admire you. After watching TV for so long, your brain is completely relaxed and you can still clearly remember your homework tasks.
shows that your memory is really good, and you are also strict with yourself. Even if it is time to go to bed, you can still remind yourself to do your homework. I admire your spirit of taking responsibility for yourself.
Even if the child says he doesnāt want to do homework and wants to go to sleep directly, we can still find something to praise. You have kept homework in mind, and you know how to combine work and rest, and you are good at rest. Knowing that you are now The brain really needs a rest, which means you know how to take care of yourself.
This is just the first step. Next, tell me your worries. I am really worried about your sleep if you do your homework so late. Or if you donāt finish your homework, have you thought about how to talk to the teacher tomorrow? Explain, okay, no matter what choice the child makes, thatās it for today.
The next day, we went to review with the children. Did we have any minor problems with our homework? Where is the problem and how can we solve it?
"Hurry up and do my homework for me." When we yell at our children to do their homework, we are making decisions for our children. We are using our driving force to replace the child's own self-driving force .
"Why can't you take the initiative to do your homework?" When we blame our children, we put ourselves on the opposite side of our children.
We must remember that we are on the same side as the child. We are guiding him to think for himself, rather than thinking for him, or standing in the child's team to blame him.
Isnāt our goal simply to let a seven or eight-year-old child complete certain pages of homework on a certain day?
Our goal is to cultivate a self-motivated child who can proactively set goals and successfully achieve them.
Next, letās start from the deeper level of parent-child relationship to find the deeper underlying logic of childrenās addiction to watching TV.
We often say that in the early stages of a child's life, parents are a mirror to the child. Children learn about themselves and the world through their parents, and establish a connection between themselves and the world.
When a child does something, the parents will give feedback and evaluation. Through repetition again and again, the child gradually knows whether he is a good child in the eyes of his parents, or in the eyes of the entire society, and the parents' evaluation of the child. , is often his own judgment of himself.
Children will use feedback from their parents to confirm whether they are trustworthy and worthy of love.
In fact, as parents, as our children grow up, we will feel an increasingly profound sense of powerlessness.We can really decide very little about what our children will become in the end.
It is very likely that he met someone by chance in the future, and this person happened to completely change the trajectory of his life.
We have very little control over it. The only thing we can control is our relationship with our children. And when a child is in his own future, in his own time in the future, his foundation is the relationship formed with his parents, as well as the self-awareness, confidence in the world, adaptability, etc. that extend from this relationship. .
So we would say that children who have a good parent-child relationship will definitely be good when they grow up.
Now letās go back to the matter of children being addicted to TV. Letās think about it in anotherās shoes. After a day of classes, the child is very tired and stressed. When he returns home, he runs to the TV just to relax himself and find spiritual solace.
Why is this happening? Itās because the children donāt get enough spiritual comfort from us. The next time your child comes home, donāt rush your child to do homework. Relax and talk to your child about school and whatās on TV.
talk about why he likes watching this show so much, every parent is too arrogant. We think we know our children best, but in fact we are far away from them.
So itās not that the children are far away from us, but that we are gradually no longer welcoming the children back. Think about the gentle gesture with which we greeted the children when they were first born. Behind every child who is addicted to TV, there is An adult who needs to relearn how to be a parent.
pay attention to Geba and raise children scientifically together.
