We will face many problems while we are alive. If these problems cannot be solved, we will suffer from inner pain.
✔️It will be painful if your work is not going well;
✔️It will be painful if your children are disobedient;
✔️It will be painful if your partner is not what you want;
✔️It will be painful if your grades are not improving;
✔️It will be painful if your life is in a mess...
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In fact, all external problems are superficial phenomena. Solve this and that. As long as our inner needs are not met, the real problems will not be solved.
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Our hearts need security, freedom, sense of value, meaning, and intimacy. These five needs form the core of all our real-life worries.
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Relationship, need and love
✨As long as two people have a relationship, they will have needs;
✨Need is a kind of request, love is a kind of giving;
✨The core principle of operating a relationship is the balance of supply and demand of love and demand;
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Security
✨The lowest need of human beings is security, which is the basic guarantee for survival;
✨Placing the hope of security on others is a mistake in itself;
✨One of the ways to love yourself One is to satisfy your own sense of security;
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Sense of freedom
✨True freedom is to have your own ideas and stick to them, dare to reject others, know how to take care of your own feelings, and never force yourself to do things you don’t want to do.
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Sense of value
✨People with a lack of sense of value often like to show off themselves, which is exactly a sign of inner lack and lack of self-confidence;
✨People with a high sense of value will just keep moving forward, unswervingly. Work hard and keep your eyes full of the future and distance.
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Intimacy
✨The person who needs to maintain intimacy the most is oneself. The intimate feedback you get from others is always limited. Relying on others is only temporary, but relying on yourself can last a lifetime.
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If you have a lonely heart, you will find a helpless self there, not knowing how to live alone.
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Being a strong inner self is not about holding on. Holding on is very lonely and is a one-man show pretending to be strong.
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When you truly listen to yourself and think about problems from your own inner perspective, you will be on the road to independence, strength, and autonomy.
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The world will throw all kinds of problems at you. What you lack is never the method, but the confidence. Instead of learning many psychological skills, it is better to grow up with your inner child.
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Finally, I would like to share one of my favorite words in the book:
The so-called inner strength means being able to take care of one's inner needs and respond to the ever-changing external world with a full attitude. The world will throw all kinds of problems at you, but as long as you are determined in your heart, you will be able to generate a lot of wisdom to solve them. Then, these questions will become your experiences and make you stronger.
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[心] I hope you can untie 99% of the painful cycles in your body, have the confidence and wisdom to live, and gain true freedom.
