▲Follow me and send a private message to "Community" to join my parenting community. 4,000+ parents have joined. The link to the previous article is here: The child wants to go out to play, but the homework is not finished. What should the old mother do? -Today's Toutiao (toutiao

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The previous link is here:

The child wants to go out to play, but the homework is not finished. What should the old mother do? -Toutiao.com

html The feeling described by the child is indeed a long-standing problem for her.

I took her to review the past event again.

That incident had a great impact on her.

She even dared not say no to her friends for fear of losing friends again and being isolated.

In fact, many, many such things will happen during children's socialization.

We don't have to eliminate all the children's difficulties,

because real social interaction will hurt;

But I need to correct the inappropriate concepts that children develop during social interaction. ,

, for example, will not refuse and respond to requests. This is caused by the feeling of insecurity.

Through review with her, let her feel the courage to refuse,

help her find a sense of security ,

and in life, guide her to learn to refuse and insist on doing the right thing,

and will not do it for others easily. And disrupt your own rhythm .

So, if you ask me, When a friend comes, should you do the housework first or spend time with your friend first?

It must be accompanying your friend first.

But if there are "uninvited guests" in our home every day,

then there is no doubt that I need to plan my life reasonably, find my own sense of rhythm,

say no when necessary, and insist on doing the right things.

So, when children encounter difficulties, don’t be anxious, but think clearly,

What is our goal?

What happened last time, my goal is very clear,

is to let children learn to control themselves, and do not have to cater to others all the time.

Let children understand that if they don't go out to play with children once, they will not lose their friends.

If she insists on doing the right things, she will also feel a sense of accomplishment.

A reader asked: "If the child behaves badly, why should he go out to play but not write?"

This is my reply:

"If this is the case, then it is not what it is today.

To I firmly believe that children want to do well, which is something engraved in their genes. Although they struggle, under normal circumstances, children will choose to abide by the agreement and complete their own things.

What about abnormal situations?

It means that the child needs more help, such as losing confidence, encountering difficulties, pressure, setbacks,

The psychological difficulty is much greater than the actual difficulty, the parent-child relationship is too conflicting, the child is rebellious, etc. "

I am Peng Xiaoteng, mother of two children, a psychological counselor who draws comics, director of the special committee of the Chinese Family Education Society, published the book "Growing Up, Don't Panic", and has focused on the growth of family relationships for 9 years, 3 Years of psychological consultation, more than 1,200 articles, and the growth stories of hundreds of thousands of mothers, living a calm and comfortable life together. Follow me and send a private message to "Community" to join my parenting community. 4,000+ parents have joined.