"What's the benefit of going to school! It's too painful, I don't want to study anymore." Maomao, who is about to go to school for four years in the fall, suddenly sighed like this!
"Well, Maomao, what do you think made you unhappy when you were in school?"
"Growing up, my mother always compared me with Lele from the family next door. I was born an hour later than him and not as tall as him. He is tall, his personality is not as good as his, and his grades are not as good as his,"
You see, in fact, learning is not painful.
What makes learning painful is the way adults do it.
Do you still remember what your children were like when they were young?
When he was two or three years old, he was always chasing you asking "what is this" and "why". He was like a curious baby, always having "a hundred thousand whys" in his mind. Every child is naturally curious about the world, but the fun brought by learning new knowledge is gradually squeezed out by heavy homework.
The original spontaneous motivation of "I want to know" and "I'm interested" in my heart began to be replaced by parents or schools with various test scores, English proficiency levels, and Mathematical Olympiad rankings.
When external evaluation is used as the reference coordinate for why you study, "learning for yourself" becomes "learning for results", and inner expectations are also reduced.
Parents who often tell their children about conditions are like the old man in the story, and the "monetary rewards" promised to their children are like the spiritual or material rewards and punishments we promise to give our children.
Children who are manipulated by external rewards have difficulty with internal motivation.
Once the reward disappears, so does the motivation.
The famous psychologist Edward Deci once conducted an experiment. Randomly select a group of students to solve interesting intellectual problems alone -
The first stage:
All college students are not rewarded when solving the problems;
The second stage:
Divide college students into two groups, one group of college students will answer a question correctly. A reward of 1 US dollar was given, and the other group of college students continued to do the questions as before without any reward;
The third stage:
The researchers let everyone rest freely first, and then observed which group of college students would continue to do the questions during the free rest time. This is used as an indicator of students' interest in solving problems.
Result: Only the group of college students who had no reward just now will solve the problem during the break.
This is the famous "desi effect":
When a person performs a pleasant activity, providing him with external rewards will actually reduce the attractiveness of this activity to him.
If you write the homework quickly, you will be rewarded with a piece of chocolate; if you improve by 10 points in the exam, you will be rewarded with 100 yuan; if you win the Mathematical Olympiad, you will be rewarded with a trip...
In life, many parents appreciate their children in this way.
It is undeniable that the incentives brought by material rewards will make children change in the short term and achieve immediate results. But if you look closely, you will find that over time, the reward loses its original appeal.
is like a long-awaited meal. After thinking about it for a long time, I finally ate it.
It was my first time to eat it, and I was very happy. If you eat it every day, you will get bored and, over time, you will dislike it.
Parents never imagined that their well-intentioned efforts would not only fail to provide positive guidance to their children, but would actually reduce their children's interest in learning.
