Is it useful to talk to children about truth? I think it's useless, why? Because great principles are not instilled in you by others. You first have your own life experience. When you happen to hear this sentence, it resonates greatly. If you agree with it, it is the truth; if yo

Is it useful to talk to children about truth?

I think it is useless, why? Because great principles are not instilled in you by others. You first have your own life experience. When you happen to hear this sentence, it resonates greatly.

If you agree, it is the truth. If you don’t understand it, it is bullshit.

Can children recognize these principles?

obviously can't, because he has neither experience nor interest in understanding.

What to do?

is actually not impossible. But first, you have to spend 2 minutes to understand the three concepts.

What three views? World view, outlook on life and values.

We often hear people say that the three views are correct, but few people go on to explore further. What are these three views? Let me give a simple definition of

.

We use our own knowledge and experience to explain the operation of everything in the world and form our worldview.

By understanding the world, we have various life goals and attitudes towards goals. This is our outlook on life.

On the road to pursuing life goals, we will encounter various choices, what to do and what not to do, these are our values. What is the principle of

?

The big truth is our values, our value judgments about what we think is good and what is bad. For example, if you can't endure the hardship of study, you have to endure the hardship of life.

Of course we want to give the most valuable summary experience to our children, but values ​​are just a choice , not right or wrong. There is no way to teach choices.

What kind of choices a child makes is based on what kind of attitude towards life he has, and furthermore, it is the small world he sees.

We have no way to directly instill values ​​into children, but fortunately, we can influence the formation of his values.

Because of the formation of three views, there is an order.

How is children’s worldview formed?

two words, experience.

Children will use everything they have to perceive the world, eyes, nose, mouth, hands and feet.

These experiences will tell him how wonderful the world is. He will be curious and searching, and will naturally discover what he wants to pursue. The richer the world he sees, the more possibilities he will discover, and these are the basic materials for him to formulate his life goals.

If you want your children to understand generosity, let them save money, do charity, and donate.

If you want your child to understand cooperation, let him participate in sports activities and go to summer camp.

If you want your child to be curious, take him outing and reading.

When he has seen, played, and liked it, he will have an immature goal, such as I want to be an Ultraman when he grows up.

And whether this life goal will change, a big influencing factor is parents.

Parents’ approval, parents’ evaluation, and more importantly, parents’ outlook on life.

How is children’s outlook on life formed? The two words

collide with

. In the first few years, when your children collide with the world, it is not just what you say, but more importantly, what you do. He learns how to approach life's goals by studying you.

A few years later, he enrolled in school and saw a bigger world. This time, he collided with the world to see if he could still collide with the capital that awes him. This time it was no longer a simple goal, but something more. Deep attitude towards life, and most parents cannot withstand such a collision.

If you don’t want your children to get a wrong attitude towards life (for example, why do you care about me), it’s time to sort out your own outlook on life. Do you have a life goal that you have been pursuing? Is your attitude toward your goals the attitude you want to pass on to your children?

This does not mean that the goals of parents must be so shining. Even if they are parents who pick up rags, their children can still come up with an attitude that moves them.

The goal in life can be work or family. There is only one standard for life goals, which is to ask for yourself, rather than placing your expectations on other people's children.

A parent who has given up on himself has no right to speak.

Finally, the process of children pursuing goals is the process of realizing self-worth. Where does the

value come from? Is it right because everyone thinks it is right? Do I feel valuable because my parents approve of me? Neither

nor

. Such value is unstable. If children do not feel self-worth in the process of pursuing goals, children will be confused and give up.

Therefore, the most important thing in the formation of values ​​​​is - stability.

Our judgment of self-worth does not come from anyone, but only from self-judgment. It is a comparison with the ideal self. Only such value judgment is stable enough. The stability of

is not blind confidence, but is based on past experience and personal understanding.

In other words, it is based on a growing world view and outlook on life. In the process of fighting ignorance, we will see more and more possibilities, and we deserve to see better choices.

The goals in life will keep pace with the times, but the attitude towards the goals is stable.

We believe in our own value judgments, so naturally we will not doubt our choices or even our abilities just because of temporary gains and losses.

So what parents should do most is trust.

trust can bring great stability to children.

When your child’s values ​​are stable enough, do you still need to be reasonable?

Of course not, he knows that studying is better than working, so this is the simplest choice.