Author | Zhu Zhu "Mom, it's summer vacation, can I play with my mobile phone?" When a child asks this, how will you answer? I have seen some parents who are so generous that they just throw their phones to their children. With their children in hand, parents can sit back and rela

Author | Zhu Zhu

"Mom, it's summer vacation, can I play with my mobile phone?"

When a child asks this, how will you answer?

I have met some parents who are very generous and

just throw their mobile phones to their children.

With children in hand, parents can sit back and relax.

Naughty children will no longer climb high and low and disturb the purity of adults.

is really easy.

In this era, it is unrealistic to completely prevent children from touching mobile phones.

However, just throw the children to electronic products and leave them alone.

The consequences may be so serious that we cannot bear it.

This is a lesson from a friend around me.

At that time, she had just started to contact child psychology ,

She was fascinated by a point of view:

"Only by fully satisfying the child now,

the child will not have a sense of lack in the future."

She bought one with great confidence. The new mobile phone,

, was given to my 8-year-old son,

, just because my son said:

xx, my classmate has a mobile phone, and he wants it too.

Her husband objected, but to no avail,

because a friend decided:

The children had had enough fun, and

naturally would not be addicted to electronic products in the future.

She underestimated the magic of that little mobile phone.

First it was time to eat and sleep.

The child didn’t even respond to the yelling for a long time.

The time it takes to go to the toilet while holding the phone in hand

also obviously increases and becomes longer.

Later, my son frequently made mistakes in his homework.

The head teacher couldn’t help but ask:

The child has changed a lot during this time!

It is easy to get distracted in class and even doze off.

Did you encounter any situation or difficulty at home?

My friend realized something was wrong.

She couldn't help but nag her child,

warned him to be conscious, but it was useless.

During that semester, the child’s performance dropped significantly.

What my friends regret the most is that

my son also has eye problems:

true myopia, which is irreversible.

What is the problem?

There is indeed a saying in psychology that "there is no need until you are satisfied."

It mostly means that when children make reasonable demands,

parents can satisfy their children within their capabilities.

But this is definitely not the same as,

parents do not set any bottom line at all, and

do not provide any guidance to their children at all.

Especially electronic products such as mobile phones.

I just watched a documentary produced by Netflix not long ago,

called "Smart Trap The Social Dilemma",

was deeply shocked.

The film clearly tells us:

• Internet products are designed to make people addicted.
• With the popularity of the Internet and electronic products, the number of teenagers with psychological problems has increased significantly year by year in the past decade.
• The Internet information we receive is often manipulated and increasingly extreme.

The documentary also mentioned that all Silicon Valley people,

have taken a class called "Persuasive Technology".

The core content of this course,

, is the study of how to use the continuous stimulation of fresh content to allow users in front of electronic screens to

be "passively" led by the electronic screen.

Any adult who has used a mobile phone must have experienced the feeling of being "captured" by a mobile phone and having difficulty controlling himself.

Adults may not be able to be self-conscious when it comes to mobile phones.

How can we expect immature children to be self-disciplined?

In the final analysis,

We can certainly allow children to play with mobile phones,

but they must play under the guidance of their parents.

The following suggestions are for parents' reference:

First, try to use desktop computers instead of mobile phones.

Also, it is better to put the computer in a public space,

rather than in the child's bedroom.

Desktop computers have large screens, so

has less impact on vision than mobile phones.

Moreover, the advantage of placing computers in public spaces at home is that

parents can probably know what their children are doing on the computer.

By the way, we can communicate with our children:

How to use electronic products to check information,

How to identify scams on the Internet,

and, Don’t trust strangers on the other end of the Internet,

Don’t expose yourself to strangers Privacy,

includes Name, home address, personal photos, etc...

Second, from the time the child comes into contact with electronic products,

agree on the rules of use with the child.

includes how many times a week it is used and how long it is used each time.

Parents will give reminders before the time is up.

Once the child complies with the agreement, confirm it promptly.

Third, don’t be afraid to reject your child.

That is to say, during the implementation of the rules,

children may cry or even act up,

in order to play more.

At this time, parents need to be firmer and

implement the agreed rules.

If we compromise and give in casually,

children will think that

the rules at home are just decoration,

they can do whatever they want.

Fourth, improve the parent-child relationship.

A psychological counselor friend once said that

those Internet addicted teenagers,

most of them have a family with a serious lack of communication and unable to flow emotions.

Simple understanding,

addicted children,

is filling the inner emptiness through the Internet.

The most fundamental way to prevent children from becoming addicted is to start with the parent-child relationship.

When children are young,

parents should take their children to interesting outdoor activities regularly.

When your children are older,

you must also talk to your children regularly and take them on trips,

experience the many joys of real life.

In the final analysis, what parents have to do is not to impose strong restrictions,

but from the time their children first come into contact with electronic products,

accompany their children to learn how to actively use it and control it.

The most important thing is that

parents must help their children create an experience of "life is really interesting".

Children who are very fulfilled in the real world will definitely not be trapped in a false world and cannot get out.

—— End——

Author: Zhu Zhu. Some pictures are from the Internet, and the copyright belongs to the original author.