Learn every day and be happy every day. I am your old friend - Sister Min. Today I will share with you a topic called: the four major types of parents. See if you have been tricked? Let's implant the core.
The first type is called: controlling parent. Controlling parents raise incompetent children. Those who are immature, have no independent opinions, and dare not make decisions will need others to hold them back and be passive in everything. Their common language pattern is: Eat that egg! Why eat? Because I am your mother, if you cry again, I will count "one, two, three"... This is a sign of a controlling parent. I want to tell you today: Controlling parents bring harm to their children instead of nourishment. They will put a lot of pressure on their children because they will have high expectations for their children. In the end, what I got from the child was not deep gratitude, but deep hatred. The more you give, the more hostile your children will be. There is a saying that goes well: "It is better not to worry, but it is not pleasing to be burdened." "You are always leaving things behind, and you can't even pack your schoolbag. I will pack it for you." You will find that if you worry about everything, your child will definitely be incompetent. Because your subconscious mind when you help him (her) pack his or her schoolbag is: If you can’t do it, I can. I don’t believe he can do it. Are children raised by controlling parents strong or weak at heart? Definitely weak. Because the mind of this kind of child cannot be exercised, the parents of this kind of child will worry about their child countless times and stretch their hands very long. The child not only needs to grow up physically, but also needs to grow up mentally. Parents worry too much. When they grow up, their hearts still stay in that place. Why? Because he didn't get exercise! The mind is not mature. So the question is, under what circumstances can the mind be exercised? When problems come, when pain comes, when trouble comes, when setbacks come, and there are many times when one has to make a decision, this is all training one's mind. But how can controlling and distributing parents like us allow our children to suffer? If everything is done for the child, then everything is decided for the child, so the child loses the opportunity to suffer. He doesn't even have the chance to suffer, so he doesn't have the chance to solve problems alone, and he doesn't have the chance to face setbacks alone, so naturally his mind won't be tempered.
What you put into your child's heart is what he will have inside. For example, if you say to your child: "I spent so much money on you, it's not easy for me to make money." You must be very happy. What is your child's true inner feeling? It’s heavy! I want to tell you that if you control him in everything, his heart will be full of oppression. Where there is oppression, there will be resistance. Do we still expect them to live well?
Sister Min wants to tell you today: A child is born with only one purpose: to leave you, and all you have to do is to shine on him like the sun. If the general direction of life is in the right direction, there will be no problems.
The second type of parent is called the anxious parent.
Anxious parents will raise a kind of children called extreme children. "Why don't you eat well in the morning? How can this be okay? If you don't eat well, won't you stop growing taller in the future?" "If you don't study hard in the first grade, won't it be useless if you don't lay a good foundation?"... This is anxiety parents' frequent language patterns. Are you an anxious parent? I want to ask you: Can anxiety be passed on? Can my anxiety make my children anxious too? However, you find that as long as you are anxious, he will be anxious. why? Because we are easily affected by other people's emotions. For example, when we are in the office, we are easily affected by the emotions of our colleagues. Are we susceptible to the emotions of our leaders? Imagine that you are in the adult world and you are very easily influenced by others. Well, at home, the same goes for children. Because children are weak and parents are strong, the weak are easily influenced by the strong. So at home, parents often say, I’m bored to death because of the meeting tomorrow? The child's psychological reflection comes back, what should I do with tomorrow's homework? Therefore, it is very easy for parents to bring emotions to their children, which eventually makes the children anxious.So once a child is anxious, his anxiety will become extreme. What will happen to such a child in school? His catchphrase (mantra) is: As soon as the teacher assigns homework, he gets bored to death. Why is there so much homework? I'm so bored, so bored, no matter what I do, I'm bored to death. Today, the teacher said that get out of class ended five minutes late and he was so annoyed that he kept dragging the class. There was no time when he wasn't annoyed. I called my parents over, and they said, "I'm so annoyed. You're causing trouble for me again." Moreover, such children are irritable and impatient. Because parents are like this. Anxious parents are all "giant babies". Because this kind of parents are parents who pursue perfection. So is it easier for a parent who loves to find faults and pursues perfection to see the strengths or weaknesses of his children? Be sure to only look at the shortcomings.
If a child scores 99 points on the exam, he will say: "Hey, where did that one point go?" Even if the child scores 100 points on the exam, he is still thinking: How many students in your class have 100 points on the exam? So, if we only look at the child’s shortcomings, will the child be confident or unconfident? He will have low self-esteem, and if a child raised by such parents has no sense of happiness, how can he be happy? You always find fault with him. Children raised by such parents are prone to depression. Not to be alarmist, depression means that if you cannot be happy about things that you should be happy about for more than 2 weeks, you can consider whether to see a psychiatrist. Nowadays, many teenagers are suffering from depression , and even have smile depression. It seems that they are suffering from depression. This is happening more and more. You will find that today's children are not happy, and why they do not feel happy is because they were raised by parents who pursue perfection, rigidity, and anxiety. This kind of child will be very painful when seeing others who are better than themselves, and they will be very jealous, and this kind of parents are very concerned about face. This is the second type of parent.
If you want to know about the other two types of parents, please pay attention to Sister Min's today's headlines tomorrow. Tomorrow's content will be more exciting, don't miss it!
