How to punish children scientifically and effectively?
This is probably a national issue that parents in today’s society need to solve!
Although we all know: It is wrong to hit children, it will leave a shadow of childhood in the future!
But every time I see children being naughty and making trouble, I will inevitably get angry.
Although I keep telling myself not to be angry, don't be angry, anger hurts the body, just bear with it, bear with it.
But it will still explode, and the child will be beaten up in the end.
But when punishing children, we really need to pay attention to science!
Don’t start too hard
In Henan, there was a case where a child was beaten into panda eyes by his mother. It turned out that the child had stolen money from his mother. Finally, the mother found out that she was angry and beat the child until he was beaten into panda eyes. .
There was also a case in Wuhan where a child had an argument with his father while doing homework. The father accidentally stabbed 7cm into the back of the head with a pencil!
There are many more shocking incidents...
It is too easy for parents to punish their children when they are angry and cannot stop the brakes!
Why can’t I help
? First of all, is influenced by the original family!
In our generation, there are only a few children who can grow up without being beaten.
When truth meets reality and we are helpless,
we instinctively think of the most familiar way of dealing with it - what our parents do.
When a beaten child becomes a parent,
may be as emotional and irritable as his parents!
Even if "don't beat children" is the bottom line,
"behavioral violence" turns into "verbal violence".
Parents’ emotions “It is better to be sparse than blocked”.
Can't help it in real life,
Even if you regret this time and swear not to fight again,
most parents will not be able to control it next time!
Faced with a naughty child acting like a monster,
learning to control emotions has become a required course for parents!
After the emotions have stabilized,
we analyze the reasons why the child made the mistake - Why did he do this?
If it is an unintentional mistake,
language communication can teach children,
we do not need to punish them!
Sometimes children do it intentionally.
The internal reason may be that our parents made mistakes first.
Children's mistakes are often reminders of what we have overlooked.
When children feel that they are not accepted, will try their best to act like a monster, and even use the most annoying methods to gain a sense of presence;
When children feel that they are not cared about, will have behavioral regression and adopt the most primitive cry. Seek attention and prove that you are loved;
When children are not respected, may confront them in a rebellious way, just to let their parents see them;
Teaching is the main method, and punishment is the supplement.
When necessary , we can punish, because we want them to understand: They have to take responsibility for the things they have done wrong, Let him feel awe and act as a deterrent. This is the real meaning of punishing children when necessary! But remember, it’s okay to give a warning like this once or twice, but it definitely won’t work if you rely on punishment every time!
After the punishment is over, remember to tell your child"Although you did something wrong and were punished, we still love you!"
Let the child feel that he is loved and accepted.It is the best way to offset the impact of punishment on the soul. The way! After the child's emotions have stabilized, be sure to sit down and review the entire incident. Tell your child completely: the reason for punishing you, why this thing is wrong, what is right, what is the danger, who will be hurt, what are the possible consequences...
Finally, remember : Our original intention in punishing children is love, not harm!
