I'm not a good mother. Since having our second child, we have not paid as much attention to our eldest child as before. Everyone in the family is paying attention to my sister. My brother, who is in elementary school, often hides in his room and cries. While I was struggling with

I am not a good mother. Since having our second child, we have not paid as much attention to our eldest child as before.

Everyone’s attention in the family is on my sister. My brother, who is in elementary school, often hides in his room and cries.

While I was struggling with being unemployed and raising a baby, my son was also suffering. He is just a child and should not be swayed by our emotions and should not be our punching bag.

——Yang Jingyi

[The only child enjoys 100% love from her parents]

My name is Yang Jingyi (pseudonym), and I am 39 years old. When I took care of my own children, I realized how tiring it is to take care of them. When the second child was born, the eldest was only 7 years old and still a first grader.

When Chen Dong (pseudonym) and I got married, both parents were around 50 years old. When I gave birth to my first child, my mother-in-law and mother took care of me together. After the maternity leave, the two mothers took turns helping to take care of the children.

My first child gave me the feeling of easy parenting. Because I don’t have to worry about anything. At that time, Chen Dong chose to start his own business and found his first pot of gold. He opened a wedding photography studio in partnership with his friends, and the business was particularly good.

I am a financial staff member of a pharmaceutical company. Although the work is hard, the income is not bad.

People just can’t be too busy. When our son was in first grade, we discussed having a second child. At that time, my son’s homework was tutored by his grandparents, so we didn’t worry about anything.

The two of us are typical urban only girls, enjoying 100% love from our parents.

[It’s too tiring to carry the second child by myself]

When I wanted to have my second child, the company leaders didn’t like me. She feels that female employees' continued maternity leave will affect the team's efficiency. Since I was pregnant, she couldn't fire me. But my life was very hard, and I was marginalized everywhere in the workplace.

The second child was born, a little girl. My family is very happy, and my friends are envious of me for having a son and a daughter.

But what is before me is the reality of raising a baby by myself. Both parents are over 55 years old and their health is no longer as good as before.

My mother and mother-in-law often take turns in the hospital. The father-in-law and father not only have to take care of their eldest grandson, but they also have to go to the hospital to take care of their wife.

I basically take care of my daughter myself. Compared with the worry I felt when my son was young, raising my daughter almost cost me half my life.

When you are in your 20s and have a baby, your body and energy can keep up. I gave birth to a baby in my 30s and felt that my body was not as good as before.

When I was exhausted from taking care of my children, I even ignored my eldest son’s feelings.

Sometimes my son wants to act like a spoiled child to me, but I scold him back. I unknowingly took out my anger on my son. Thinking about it now, I really regret it.

[The eldest son was ignored]

Originally there was only one child in the family, and everyone’s attention was on him. Although we didn’t deliberately spoil our child, we defaulted to giving him priority in all the delicious food at home.

After my sister was born, my son seemed to be forced to grow up overnight. We all taught him to take good care of his sister.

My daughter is so young, and my son is already in elementary school. Our hearts naturally go to the youngest children.

We used to take our son out to play every weekend. After having a younger sister, my son would play with building blocks in the living room by himself every weekend. Even when we go for a walk in the evening, my son rarely goes out with us.

His son wanted to play football, but was rejected time and time again by Chen Dong. He couldn't bear to take his daughter to the stadium to bask in the sun.

My son wanted to go camping, but I refused. Camping is in the countryside and there are many mosquitoes at night. I feel so sad when I think about my baby daughter being bitten by mosquitoes.

Not only us, but also grandparents and grandparents also gave more love to our daughter.

[Being unemployed and raising a baby made me anxious, and I even neglected my son]

There was no one at home to help with the second child, so we hired an aunt. To be honest, my aunt's salary is basically the same as mine.

Not long after my maternity leave ended, the company leader came to talk to me. They said that I gave my female employees the opportunity to have a second child! Although they didn't explicitly say that they were going to fire me, they had already transferred me from my original position. They asked me to do sales and travel a lot.

In order to save a sum of compensation for fired employees, I was manipulated by the company for a month. During this period, he made excuses every day to arrange for me to go on business trips. I'm still breastfeeding, so naturally I can't adapt. After struggling with

for more than a month, I resigned. I am unemployed in middle age and have failed to lose weight after childbirth. I feel that life is extremely difficult.

After I resigned, I went home to take care of my children. Chen Dong comforted me and said that he would not be in a hurry to find a job for a while and would take his daughter to kindergarten first.

Although Chen Dong comforted me, I was still very disappointed. No matter how hard a working woman works, she must at least have an income.

When I was exhausted from being unemployed and raising a baby, I rarely thought about having an older son.

[The teacher said that my son often cried in the classroom]

It was only after I received a call from my son’s class teacher that I realized that my little boy had been lost for a long time.

’s former son was so lively. After having a sister, we asked him to be quiet at home.

I don’t know when it started, but my son stopped whispering to me. He used to like to take me out to play and tell me how beautiful the meaty grown in the class was.

We always say that he is an older brother who should set an example for his younger sister. But he is just a child.

Chen Dong and I were very sad that night when we received the call. It’s been a long time since the two of us picked up our son from school. I didn’t participate in the parent-child activities organized by the school, but my grandparents participated.

When I think of my son crying secretly in the classroom, my heart hurts like a knife.

I am a neglectful mother. I didn't balance family relationships well.

[Re-adjustment of family relationships]

After the outbreak of the epidemic, Chen Dong's business has been running intermittently.

I have not been looking for a job, but I have been taking care of my children at home. What's even more painful is that both parents take turns going to the hospital.

When an only child reaches middle age, the burden on her body is not light at all. The only good thing is that both my parents have their own small businesses and have a lot of savings.

We made a schedule as a couple. I take care of my daughter during the day and my son at night.

Chen Dong’s rest time is mainly focused on his son. The football activity that my son likes is once again on the schedule.

I also told both parents that we can no longer ask the elder brother to give in to the younger sister in everything.

My little boy has been ignored by us for so long and we cannot let him continue to suffer.

【Always indebted to the boss】

My daughter also went to kindergarten last year. I found myself a part-time job, at least I had some income.

My son likes his sister more and more. The first thing I do when I get home from school is to hug my sister. The brother and sister have a very good relationship.

When relatives and friends get married, they will invite my two children to go to the wedding. It is really the dream of many people to have both children.

Life keeps moving forward, but I still feel that I owe my son. He could have grown up carefree, but he became sensible in an instant.

【Love the boss well】

Having a second child is really a luxury. Not only do you have to consider financial pressure, but you also have to consider the issue of raising a baby.

There are several mothers like me who were abandoned by the workplace because of giving birth to their second child.

I don’t regret having a second child. What I blame myself for is not taking care of my boss’s feelings.

There is no patriarchal mentality in our family. In many families, if their first child is a daughter, they will have second or even third children until they give birth to a son.

Poor girls born in those families don’t know how much grievance they have to endure when they grow up.

I saw a piece of news yesterday. Grandma took her two children out for a walk. When it rained, grandma only took care of her younger brother, while my older sister rode alone. Watching this news, I burst into tears. How do neglected children grow up to heal their childhood?