Children's rebellion is a phenomenon they will encounter in the process of growing up, and parents are particularly troubled during this period. So, what should I do if the child is rebellious?
1. The reason for the child's rebellion.
Generally, children begin to rebel when they are 13 or 14 years old, that is, puberty, and some even begin to rebel at the age of 7 or 8. However, as far as Western educators are concerned, the so-called rebellious period is unnecessary. The reason why children are rebellious to varying degrees is mainly due to improper parental education methods. The reason is:
1. Traditional thinking has affected some parents. China’s long-standing parental dictatorship still exists among some parents. They lack * * awareness of their children’s education, and they always think that children are immature, so they * * obey themselves and cannot have their own opinions, otherwise they will be "disobedient" "Opposite", thus inadvertently restraining the child's natural release.
2. Parents’ misunderstandings lead to improper education methods. Some parents lack common psychological knowledge and desire success in their children's education. Their methods are simple and rude, often neglecting the children's self-esteem and psychological endurance.
3. The lack of two-way communication between parents and children leads to conflicts in thinking. As children grow up, they become more and more conscious, demanding their own way of doing things, and are unwilling to be restricted too much. However, some parents do everything for their children out of protection, letting the children's desires and the parents' improper kindness cause conflicts and contradictions. Maybe some parents seldom talk and exchange ideas with their children because they are busy with work, but just make some strict rules to restrict their children's behavior. Therefore, the lack of communication between children and their parents can easily lead to rebellious psychology and behavior.
2. Is the child rebellious?
1. While learning more about their children’s lives, parents must take time to learn more about their children, communicate more with their children, their nanny and teachers, and try to fully grasp their children’s performance in the kindergarten and family. The more you know, the less you misunderstand. In this way, once the child is really disobedient, he can better understand how to guide the child.
2. The society that absorbs educational knowledge is changing, and the environment in which children grow up is also changing. Naturally, the way of raising children needs to be continuously improved. As a parent, it is our duty to take the initiative to absorb new knowledge in education. In the traditional way of parenting education, parents often use * * to educate their children,Punishment of beating and scolding is * *an important method of education. Absorbing new knowledge can help parents jump out of their growth experience and adjust their educational concepts in a timely manner.
3. Listen patiently to your child. If it is an impatient and aggressive parent, the direct response to a child who does not listen to discipline is usually swearing. At this time, it is recommended that parents calm down first, try to be patient, and ask their children why. When parents' minds have been focused on understanding their children's thoughts and trying to help children solve problems, they may find that their children's behaviors are actually excusable and release a lot of negative emotions.
4. Really put down your body. Some parents always like to be dignified in front of their children, and they are used to treating their children with the attitude of the next one mentioned above. I hope that parents can really put down their bodies, respect their children from the heart, stop talking to their children in a condescending tone, and treat children as adults. Don't always say "no" to your children, but give them multiple choice questions and let them make their own decisions. If the child is old enough and there is no problem with the expression ability, the child can also propose solutions or alternatives.
5. Reasonable with children In addition to the usual warnings, parents should also teach their children some truths in actual situations. Let the child have empathy, let him experience it from the perspective of others, and truly understand how his behavior affects others. As for the way of explaining the truth, the depth of explanation can be chosen according to the age of the child, and very young children can use storytelling.
6. Let the child realize that if the child always does not listen to the adults, the parents can also let the child "reap the fruits" under the premise of * *safety and no adverse consequences. Through their own practical experience, children will deeply appreciate how correct and important their parents’ teachings are.
7. Negotiate with the child not to always ask the child to live according to the wishes of the adult, so that not only the child suffers, but the adult also suffers. Children are humans, and of course they have their own things to do. Therefore, this may be a good way to negotiate with your child and take a step back. For example, if the child wants to jump off the sofa, if the parents have something to think about, they can ask the child to jump on the bed in the bedroom, or ask him to wait for a while, or wait for the parent to finish his homework before taking the child to the park to jump to the extreme.
8. No matter whether parents educate their children in anger or not, they cannot discipline their children in a rational way. So, when parents can’t calm down anyway,It is recommended that parents temporarily leave the scene or divert their attention to other things, such as calling friends to chat and listening to music. After you calm down, talk to your child.
9. Correct the child's expectations. Sometimes parents are too eager to be a good person, and often ask their children for standards that they can't do (maybe parents think they can do it, but they have never done it!). You know, it's normal for a child to be young and active, stubborn and forgetful. If parents really want to get something from their children, they must also consider their children's growth. Don't always use a magnifying glass to see their children's performance.
10. Treat children sincerely. When communicating with children, some parents always like to use accusatory or imperative tone, which is often difficult for children to accept. The communication between parents and children should be sincere and without distance. Parents can honestly explain their worries or emotions to their children and let them know that his behavior will make you sad or worried. As long as the tone is calm and the attitude is sincere, you will find that the child is very willing to be considerate of their parents!
What about the rebellious child? Do you know the answer through Bian Xiao’s explanation?
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