The following sentences are familiar to you as a mother. Do you often say this to your children?
The first sentence - "Don't obedient, mom doesn't want you anymore." The child saw a toy outside and rolled around and insisted on you to buy it. There were obviously many similar toys at home, and they were still there when they bought it. The child was a temporary freshness, so you scolded the child a few words, and the child deliberately cried louder, sitting on the ground and refused to leave. Finally, you said loudly "If you can't leave, you're just here alone when you are making trouble. Mom doesn't want you anymore."
In early childhood, children's attachment to their parents is extremely strong. This attachment relationship will give children a sufficient sense of security. Children in early childhood cannot understand adult emotions , and can only judge adult emotions through facial expressions, and it is difficult to understand adult emotions in their hearts.
If you often pretend not to want children, the child will really think that parents don’t want themselves anymore, which will have a serious impact on the child’s psychology and destroy the child’s sense of security. Children with a sense of security destroyed will show inferiority, sensitivity, moodiness, and it is even more difficult to trust other people.
The second sentence - "Do you want to get beaten?" At the dinner table, the child was naughty and threw the food everywhere. The father said, "Eat well, don't waste food," obviously the child did not listen. Dad raised his hand to scare the child, "Do you want to get beaten?" The child was scared and dared not move again, but the crying was even worse. .
This is a common method used by many families. Once a child is disobedient, will educate the child in a threat and intimidation way. In fact, this will not only not let the child listen to you, but will instead make the child feel that you are just talking , and it has not really taken action and will not have any effect. Children who are often threatening and intimidating will not be conducive to the child's mental health and will let the child develop a timid and cowardly personality.
The third sentence - "What are you asking, don't know" The child saw the car racing on the road and asked his mother: "Why are the cars on the road different? Why do they run so fast?" You explained to the child patiently, and 5 minutes later, the child asked you again: "Why is it hot?" You also explained to the child patiently. When you are going home, the child asks you again, "Why do you want to go home?" So you say impatiently, "What are you asking, I don't know," the child lowered his head and was unhappy all day.
When children reach 2 to 3 years old, there will always be some inexplicable and brain-opening questions and ideas . At the beginning, parents will answer questions and answer questions for their children. Over time, parents will also feel that their children talk too much and get bored. The sentence "too much talk, don't know" will affect the child's mood throughout the day, causing a gap between your parent-child relationship . If the child asks some questions you cannot answer, you can check the information with the child, explore together to enhance the parent-child relationship.
Sense of security has an important impact on children, so building a child’s sense of security must be established from an early age, not until the child has already lacked a sense of security.
Find out the reasons for the child’s uneasiness
Some parents’ behaviors will cause the child to lose their sense of security, such as a sudden disappearance, which will make the child suddenly unable to find someone, and will think that the mother doesn’t want him anymore, and thus collapse. When you are leaving your child, parents should not disappear suddenly. They can discuss with their children. The mother will come back after get off work, and the mother will come back when the sun disappears. Let the child know that you will come back, not that he doesn’t want him. Secondly, there are also environmental factors, such as lightning and thunder and sudden firecrackers, which will cause children to be uneasy. Find these factors that affect children's uneasy and solve them in a timely manner to help children reduce their uneasy.
2. Help children build a sense of security
Sometimes, children's uneasiness can come from their parents, and the way to get a sense of security can also come from their parents. For example, parents often engage in physical contact with their children, such as playing two-legged games together, or playing football on the football field together, holds the child to shoot in the basketball court, so that the child can get the father's sense of security.
3, harmonious family environment
has a healthy and happy environment, which plays an important role in establishing a child's sense of security. Just imagine, will the child feel happy if a moody father and a mother who complains all day long? Parents often quarrel or even attack, and the children see it. Over time, the children will feel self-negative in their hearts. "Did they quarrel because of me?" "Do they don't want me anymore?" Children who grow up in this environment will form distorted psychology and values. So giving children a warm and healthy living environment is the best way to build a sense of security for children.
4. Parents and children read
Busy parents should not forget the importance of companionship. They spend half an hour every day to accompany their children and tell them what happened to them at work today and how do you feel? Let your children share interesting things about being at home today with you. Then accompany your children to read the picture book and enjoy the parent-child time between you. Parent-child reading is not entirely controlled by parents. You can also let your children read it to you. Even if the child is not right, don’t correct her . The child is originally a perfect age. The more imaginative the child is, the more proving the child’s imagination and language expression ability. If there are indeed cognitive errors, parents can indirectly attack. For example, if the child calls an elephant a tiger, parents can say, "Ah, is this a tiger? Why do I feel it doesn’t look like it? Look again." Let the child observe by himself, and the child’s observation ability is also exercised in the process.
5. Allow children to vent their emotions
Both adults and children will have emotions and need to vent them. Some parents will stop them immediately when they see their children crying, "Don't cry." In fact, children sometimes collapse and cry when facing a little problem. For example, children do not play with them, and the toys are snatched by others. The crying at this time is just to attract your attention and seek your help. At this time, parents should not stop their children from venting their emotions. Just squat down and hold the child, and let him cry, and then let the child tell you why he cried. Crying is a way of venting for children, and crying will relieve the child's emotions.
In fact, children should cultivate a sense of security from an early age. If the sense of security when they were young, then when they grow up, the children will shrink from doing things and always feel uneasy in their psychology. In fact, it is very simple to cultivate children's sense of security. Parents' company, loving family environment, and warm language. As long as parents do these things, children will naturally have a confident and secure life under the influence of this environment.
What other words have you said to your children? Let the child feel wronged and sad. Welcome to leave a message and comment. Dad from the competition will solve the problem with you!
