Home is not only a haven of love, but also a hotbed of psychological problems. Tolstoy said in " Anna Karenina ": "Happy families are always similar, and unfortunate families have their own misfortunes."
A happy family can maximize the child's life potential and achieve more success, happiness and happiness.
However, imperfect families are diverse, and now there are many such parents, educating children, neither inheriting Chinese traditional culture, following traditional family disciplines, nor mastering modern civilization. The proper family education model, when educating children, is arrogant and venting emotions. In the process of raising children, it is mixed with many negative things, which casts a shadow on the children's psychology.
born in what family, is beyond the control of their own choice, Psychologists believe that "a person's early years will affect or determine a person's life state."
Life?
1. Understand the native family:
the status of a person’s birth, the way of feeding, the characteristics of the family and the family’s parenting status
Learn to analyze the reasons for the formation of parents’ personalities and behaviors, so that you can avoid them.
parents can be role models or negative textbooks.
2. Understand the native family:
strong1span parents are also the first time parents are strong1It is inevitable that there will be something wrong, including when we become parents in the future, we cannot be perfect parents.
The parents of unfortunate families may come from unlucky native families. Under the subtle influence of their native families, they unknowingly exhibit the same behaviors, actions, languages, attitudes, etc., as their parents. Inherited the original family model that hurt children. The most terrifying thing about the native family lies in this powerful continuity.
But anyway, our parents gave us life and raised us.
3. To understand the native family:
On the basis of knowing and understanding the native family, it is no longer entangled in respect and disrespect and disrespect for the native family. Relieve, let go of past obsessions, and relax yourself. You know, many things, no matter how reluctant you are, you cannot change, or it is difficult to change, you can only accept it. When you are willing to accept it, that is when you have the courage to change yourself, it also shows that you already have the "wisdom to reconcile with yourself."
The ability to understand is also growth.Heal yourself and forgive your parents. The initiative this time is in our own hands.
Understanding parents’ difficulties and forgiving their faults is a sign of a person’s true maturity. It is impossible to change your parents, and the best way is to change yourself. Believe that oneself will surpass the original family and become a person with perfect personality, someone who has love, has love, and is worthy of being loved.
The insufficiency of the native family will also cause our unsound personality: dependent personality , avoidant personality, flattering personality, etc. In fact, each of us has more or less personality flaws, and there are probably no perfect parents. We can only try to heal a little bit by ourselves. From this point of view, blaming the parents is meaningless, and blaming the original family is not the goal. There is such a long journey in life, no matter how painful the process of reconciliation, we will eventually be able to reincarnate and become a better version of ourselves,
whatever the past. In the future, it is not the original family that will determine the direction of our lives, but ourselves and our growth rate. For the troubles caused by the native family, if you feel that your parents are responsible, it can only be resentment, and if you feel that you should be responsible for it, it is growth.
Let your regenerated family get rid of the shadow of the original family,Break this bad cycle and build a happy family that you long for in your heart. It is to reshape one's own life.
Note: The picture is from the Internet, if there is any infringement contact delete it.
References: Shen Jiahong "The Native Family".
.
