Hi everyone, I'm Cuckoo's mom.
After a child is 3 years old, most parents will send him to kindergarten. In addition to parents who do not have too much time and energy to take care of, children at this age also already have the need to develop social interactions. He needs to integrate into children, learn with his peers, and build his own social circle.
However, when the child is 3-6 years old, parents are still more worried:
Does the child adapt in kindergarten?
Have you been bullied, or have you been unhappy?
Did he eat well?
I saw a mother post on the Internet. She said that her daughter was 3 years old and entered the kindergarten smoothly. Prior to this, she did a lot of preparation work, looking at each kindergarten, and finally settled on a more assured kindergarten.
Although the kindergarten is carefully selected by myself, I also checked the situation in the kindergarten and learned about the children's daily activity arrangements with the teacher. But when the child really went to school, she was still worried, always worried that her daughter would be wronged. even thought of the way her daughter was crying, she couldn't help crying, and she cried for almost a day.
1: When children enter kindergarten, mothers are more anxious
When babies enter kindergarten, compared with children, they are more anxious. Mothers, especially full-time mothers.
Every school season, a question that mothers are more concerned about is: "How to solve children's separation anxiety?" But what mothers don't know is that separation anxiety may be more serious for adults than children.
When the child was separated from his mother, he would cry, become uncomfortable, and find his mother. But when my mother is really not around,When a group of children were playing next to him, he actually quickly forgot about "separation". "Playing" is the child's nature, and as soon as he engages in play, the child naturally adapts to the environment.
On the contrary, it is a mother. After spending a few years with her children carefully, the baby has long become the center of life. When the child is suddenly absent, this kind of "lost" feeling and gap makes it difficult to adapt. Therefore, mothers often have more anxiety and worries than children.
2: Anxiety will be passed on to their children
What many mothers don’t know is that anxiety not only affects themselves, but also unknowingly affects their children.
1 What do you fear?
Psychologically, it is believed that when parents are overly anxious about something, it will continue to appear instead.
For example, "Worry about the child's bad life in the garden". Mom may ask over and over again: "Do you think your mother is crying?" "Are you wronged?" "Are there any classmates bullying you?"
The child was having a good time, but the anxious mother asked nervously again and again. children also start to become nervous : "Entering kindergarten is a terrible thing, I will have a lot of unhappy experiences."
In this way, after entering kindergarten, in order not to let myself And when the mother is nervous, the child will stare at these questions and keep telling himself: “Don’t think about your mother crying, don’t feel wronged, don’t be bullied.” I really found myself "missing my mother", "very wronged", and "be bullied".
2 aggravates children’s discomfort when entering kindergarten
When a mother is particularly anxious, she will unconsciously amplify this anxiety and pass on the emotions to the child.
And the child is a creature with "very strong observation ability and poor interpretation ability" . When he observes that his mother is so anxious, he will not think it is a misunderstanding of the mother, but understand it as: "Is it wrong for me to adapt to life in the garden? Mom is right? I am not happy in the garden."
Children can easily capture the emotions of adults and follow their own understanding. receive the info. Over time, the child may really be "unsuitable" to enter the kindergarten.
3: Relieve parents’ anxiety
" Positive Discipline" There is a saying: "The child is preparing for separation from his mother from birth."
, It is a fact.
The older the child gets, the less time he spends around his mother, and the weaker his dependence on her mother. This kind of anxiety will appear more serious when the mother feels that she is slowly not being "needed" by the child.
And children’s going to kindergarten is an important turning point in "separation". Overcoming "separation anxiety", maybe our parents have to do more than children.
★Be more confident in yourself
Before cheering up your child,Cheer yourself up first. presents a confident smiling face to the child, and also gives the child full trust:
"Mom believes that you will have a good time with the children."
"Mom believes that you will like the teacher in the garden."
"As soon as you finish school, you will be able to see me immediately. I look forward to that time. Will you be happy to see me?"
If you have confidence, your child will have confidence to deal with life in the garden. If you are anxious, your child will be anxious too. You feel guilty, and the child feels that entering the kindergarten is an unfair thing to him.
Give more positive psychological hints to your children and yourself. The child's observation ability is very strong. He can draw energy from your attitude and emotions and try to respond appropriately.
★ Introduce your favorite person or thing to your child
After sending your child into kindergarten, don’t run away immediately, leaving the baby alone there crying and grabbing the ground. gives him about 5 minutes to adapt, such as showing him his favorite toys, or finding his favorite friends and chatting with them.
When the child enters the kindergarten, he has a good start, and he can relax a lot in the next day.
★ prepares for separation anxiety
The child has separation anxiety because he is worried about not seeing his mother and wondering when his mother will come back to him. At this time, we need to help him establish a concept: "Mom is only leaving temporarily, and will pick you up when you are over."
tell the child the specific concept of time ,For example: "When you go to the garden, you will play games with your teachers and classmates for a while, and then have lunch. Next is to go to bed, play for a while, mother will pick you up!"
and the child Playing a role-playing game: Pretend you are at the door of the kindergarten and ask the child whether he wants to kiss his mother before going in, or hold your leg and cry for a while? Let the child have a choice, whether to embrace the parting or crying to part. And in the game, children will release the sad emotions caused by separation and adjust their adaptability.
Finally, it is a good thing to think that the child grows up. We must act happily before our children are infected and go to kindergarten happily.
Has your baby entered the kindergarten? Do you have "separation anxiety" during your child's admission to kindergarten? Welcome to leave a message in the comment area~
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[The picture comes from the Internet, invaded and deleted]
About the author : Cuckoo mother, 1 million+ blogger creator. Research children's psychological development, solve hundreds of problems on the road of parenting, and accompany thousands of families to grow with science and wisdom.
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