When it comes to children's education, every parent has something to say.
Although the family situation is different and the education method has its own merits, no matter what the concept and the form, the education is the same. Here I share with you the "eight commandments" of educating children for your parents' reference.
1. Don't educate only when you think of it.
Educating children must be persevering, and educating children must not ignore the details.
A friend in the UK saw a grandmother taking her grandson on a bus. The little boy stepped on the bus first, but was called down by the grandmother. The grandmother wanted to go by herself and said to the little boy: "Ladies first !"
Gentleman education is probably cultivated since childhood!
The famous American teacher Paul Clarke especially emphasizes and attaches great importance to the detailed education of children. For example, you cannot speak with food, and if there is someone behind you when you push the door, you must hold the door for him, and you must look at people with kind eyes, etc. It is the details of the child's growth.
If you do not always remember the responsibility of educating your children, and you have missed the critical period of your child's growth, it will be difficult to think about education later. This is the sensitive period education that we often say in Montessori education.
2. Don't educate when you are angry
In education, restraint is more important than catharsis.
When a child irritates us, we must bear it for a while and don't rush to get angry, because no matter what we do, the "first thought" that comes up first is often problematic.
Sometimes a mistake made by a child may not be a big deal, but it is not what we want, or the time is not right, and it happens to hit the gunpoint of the parents' emotions.
For parents, the so-called restraint is to avoid the "first thought" that needs to be considered from the perspective of the child. Treat children with "righteousness, righteousness and strictness" should be changed to "righteousness and harmony, righteousness and tactful words".
The discipline is strict, and the principle is strict, the mind is strict, and the attitude should be as sincere, gentle and patient as possible.
3. Don't educate your children in public
Even if your child does the worst thing, you should take your child home to educate your child, scolding or even assaulting your child in public will often have more serious consequences.
The most important thing in education is to respect human dignity and protect children's hearts. If this is not done, there will be no real education at all.
Praise and criticism of children is an emotional interaction. Parents are too strong and children are often useless; parents are too rough and children are often mad.
Wise parents will not scold their children severely. They can realize that educating children cannot pursue immediate results.
4. Don’t turn the conversation into education
The less you communicate with your child, the less you know how to communicate with your child. If you don’t know how to communicate with your child, the less you will understand your child. .
When you have the opportunity to talk to your child, what do you say to him?
A kid in junior high school told me that what parents say to him the most is: eat quickly, do your homework after eating, and go to bed after finishing your homework!
As a parent, do you know the pressure and suffering of children? Can you walk into the inner world of a child?
Parents gradually fade away from their children's emotional world or even absent, and conversations with children are more likely to turn into preaching, criticism, and reprimand. After the child reaches 13 years old, even the opportunity for criticism will not be left to you.
5. Try to avoid negative education
Chinese culture lacks sincere praise and encouragement to people, lacks the tradition of experiencing happiness from a small thing, and lacks the understanding that "doing something meaningless can make life meaningful".
We are used to "do great things" and achieve "great achievements". Correspondingly, we like to criticize, deny, and negatively suggest.
If you haven't tried something, someone will remind you that you must not do it well.
As a parent, to change oneself should start with restraining the desire to criticize, not by turning a blind eye to the child’s shortcomings, shortcomings, and shortcomings.It is to help the child when he has the courage to try and change.
6. Avoid eating and educating children while sleeping
Eating is a kind of enjoyment, it is an exchange, it is a party.
And a good party should first be at home. Some children tremble when they eat, and eat very fast. Why are they fast? Just to make parents too late to criticize him.
Eating food too fast is not good for the stomach, and the absorption of food is not good, let alone any table manners.
Education before the child goes to bed is not only ineffective, but also affects the child's sleep.
When children fall asleep, their heads are full of these critical messages, and they often have nightmares.
So, let your child eat and sleep well, even if he makes a mistake, you have to find a more appropriate time for education.
7. Don't compare other people's children
Every child has a huge difference, and every child has a reason to be "this way". The best way to educate a child is to focus on his "this way".
Mozart played well at the age of five and compose at the age of seven. It was Mozart.
For children, simple comparisons can't solve the problem. You might as well analyze with him patiently, so that the child will neither feel inferior, nor be jealous and hostile to others.
8. Teach children not to "multiple crimes"
"multiple crimes" First of all, parents usually spend too little time with their children and care too little.
Secondly, it also shows that parents love to "keep grudges" and like turning over old accounts.
Sometimes it's not that your words don't make sense, but that your way is wrong. In the wrong way, education must have no effect.
As a parent, all power means responsibility. This responsibility forces us to change and grow up with our children, instead of giving our children what we can’t do.
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