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"We are not in a hurry, always thinking that the future is long, we are waiting for the flowers to bloom , but forget that the world is impermanent. "
This sentence comes from a recently popular song "Always Think the Day Is Long". Every time I hear this song, I can't help but cry. Looking back on my past life, I only thought of doing many things after getting sick. When you can do it, when you should do it, always wait for tomorrow, wait for next time, wait for the future, wait for the future. Every time I think about it, the future is long anyway, but in the end it is difficult to defeat the uncertainty of the world.
Challenge the time left to me by cancer
I was diagnosed with non-small cell lung adenocarcinoma stage IV in October 2020. has been protected by EGFR-targeting drugs. In the past two years, he has been able to stay with his family and work normally. Such days may be normal for healthy people, but for me, this simple happiness is hard-won. After experiencing the test of death, we understand that life does not have much time to come, and every day we live is extremely precious.
After I was diagnosed, I collapsed at first, but when I thought about my family, especially my young daughter, my heart was full of reluctance. After a night of tossing and turning, I finally accepted the reality and made up my mind to treat my illness well and live a good life.
Half a year after my diagnosis, I not only learned to drive and got my driver’s license, but also learned to square dance and play mahjong. In April this year, I registered online to take the last professional title exam before retirement. If the epidemic had not affected me, the exam would have started in July, and I naturally entered a state of full preparation for the exam. In preparing for this exam, the result is not important. I just want to challenge the time left by cancer again.
Since I got sick, I have a new way of managing my body and life. I devote myself to work and laugh loudly when entertaining. When you are busy, you work hard without complaining, and when you are free, you walk outdoors alone. Learn to let go and let go emotionally, and forgive and forgive emotionally. Don’t worry about stage classification and survival period. You are not blindly optimistic, but you don’t give up easily either.
Things are unpredictable. Instead of living in the future and living in an uncertain tomorrow, I would rather live today and hold every today tightly in my hands and remember it in my heart. Things are unpredictable and there is not so much time to come. Whatever you want to do, do it quickly, while you are young, while you are healthy, while you are still alive.
Three "exclusive tips" to maintain a good attitude
No one is a saint. When they learn that they are terminally ill and may not have much time left, no one can remain calm. They will cry bitterly, despair, and cry over and over again. Asking “why me” all over the place. Under repeated ideological struggles, some people may lose confidence in treatment, sigh and have random thoughts all day long, and lose the courage to fight against the disease. This mentality is not good for your body or your emotions.
As for how to open up the heart knot, I have summarized a few "exclusive tips" based on my own experience, hoping to share them with fellow patients.
1. Only if you "want" to live can you "be" able to live.
I remember the day I was first diagnosed with cancer, I walked out of the doctor's office door and my head went blank. People were coming and going in the corridor, bustling with people, some were crying, some were laughing; some patients were pressing their heads against the wall, muttering incomprehensibly; some family members were frowning and flipping through the examination reports with their fingertips; Some people's eyes were dull and they didn't know where they were looking... The long trance made it difficult for me to come back to my senses. My lips trembled slightly. I tried to make some noise, but nothing came out; I wanted to speak louder. Cry, but I don’t know where the tears have gone. Before the report came out, I fantasized countless times about how I would react to the worst possible outcome. However, when the moment actually came, I realized that I could not control my emotions at all.
Looking at these patients who have the same or different fates as me, and thinking about my still young husband and young daughter, how can I bear to let them lose their families when they should be the happiest? Accompanied by a soreness at the tip of my nose, tears welled up in my dry eyes. From that moment on, there were only two words in my dictionary - "alive".
Therefore, I think that if cancer patients want to survive, the most important thing is the desire to live. It is true that cancer treatment is very painful. Whether it is chemotherapy, radiotherapy, surgery or the side effects of drugs, every step of the treatment process is like walking on a knife's edge with bare feet and difficulty. In addition to physical pain, there is also psychological torture: unsatisfactory treatment results, recurrence, and metastasis of cancer cells... Accepting physical torture and mental shock all day long, it is inevitable that you will doubt the meaning of life.
At this time, I suggest that you think about your relatives, loved ones, and friends, think about the people closest to us, think about young children and elderly parents, and think about those wishes that have not yet been fulfilled. You will feel that you don’t want to die and cannot die. So since you can't afford to die, it's better to live well, do your best, laugh, run, love well, and be loved well.
If you want to live, you must actively cooperate with treatment. A strong desire to survive will make you firmly believe: "I will get better, I will get better." An article I once read said that people's thoughts are very important. For example, if you are taking targeted drugs, You can imagine that the medicine entering your body is like thousands of troops rushing into the enemy camp, beating the enemy to pieces, killing most of them, and our enemy is the tumor king. If we could close our eyes and "direct" such a "war movie" every time we take the medicine, wouldn't we be able to kill all the cancer cells day after day? I am often amused by my own imagination, and my mood suddenly becomes brighter, and my confidence in treatment will increase.
2. Don’t let “negative personality” harm you
Secondly, it is also very important to change the original “negative personality”. I used to be a person who liked to get into trouble, and I even had a bit of obsessive-compulsive disorder. I could keep an unpleasant thing in my heart for a few days and still feel brooding about it. I liked to blame everyone, always complaining about this and that, and felt that fate was unfair to me. These "negative characters" not only affect my mood, but also bring pressure to those around me, so I have very few friends. After all, no one wants to be friends with someone who is full of negative energy every day.
After I got sick, I had more time to reflect on myself. I felt that there were some problems with my previous personality, which was not good for cancer treatment or physical and mental health. Therefore, I believe that cancer patients need to actively correct their "negative personality", stop being negative all the time, and avoid "mental internal friction".
But in fact, it is easier said than done. In the early days when I made up my mind to change, I still had a lot of discomforts, because long-term living habits and living environment will continue to affect a person's personality. But through my unremitting efforts, I gradually came out of my "negative personality".
My life now is very simple: Monday to Friday at 2 o'clock, jog about three kilometers to work in the morning, working time is also pleasant, and get along well with my colleagues; then get off work, pick up the baby and cook, and go out after dinner Take a walk of about 5,000 steps, go home and watch TV and spend time with your children; eat "candy" at nine o'clock, and go to bed on time at ten o'clock.
My sleep quality is very good. I almost wake up at around five o'clock in the morning, just in time to get up and exercise. Since changing my original personality and living habits, I feel from the bottom of my heart: Only when I am full of positive energy can I better embrace love, accept love, and repay love.
3. Do not treat yourself as a patient, neither humble nor arrogant.
After I became ill, I made many new friends. They were all healthy people, but they never looked at me strangely, never inquired about me, and I never took the initiative. Tell them about my illness. This is not an escape. I just feel that it is useless to remind others and myself "I am a patient" all the time. It can only affect the mood of myself and others. So I think if you want to be a normal person in the eyes of others, you first need to be a normal person in your own eyes, neither humble nor arrogant, and not "specialized"; emotions are contagious, and you should polish them when making friends in life. With both eyes, refuse to get along with people with negative energy, and communicate more with kind and optimistic people.
Now, every weekend, if we have an appointment with friends, we go out to play together. Even if we don’t, I will take my children out to play. We are a small county and there are not many entertainment places, so I take my children to the gym or beach park to play for a while. In the afternoon, there will be people who have time to play mahjong. The game is not big, it is purely for entertainment. Just like this, the day passed happily, and I didn’t even have time to think about my cancer. Maybe one day, it will know that I don't take it seriously, or even bother to take it to heart, and it will quietly disappear on its own. After all, it feels uncomfortable not to be taken seriously.
In the long years, in the vast sea of people, no matter what we have experienced, we must face everything we encounter. Therefore, I am willing to follow nature, follow my heart, live happily, and go without restraint. Every night I lie down without any burden, and when I open my eyes, it’s another sunny day, and life is so beautiful. Although it is not easy to be ourselves, if we persist in being strong, we can make ourselves believe and let the people who love us believe that we are living a good life.
Postscript
Most people always believe that there are many "long days to come" in life, so they always postpone what they want to do indefinitely. But life is so short, and there really isn’t much “future is long” to squander. Perhaps instead of living in an uncertain tomorrow and future, we should cherish the present and seize the happiness of the moment. While the flowers have not yet fallen, go and appreciate them; while the sky is still sunny, go run to your heart’s content; while the one you love is still around, hug and laugh; while your heart is still beating, live well. I would like to encourage you together.
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Statement: The article comes from Miyou Experience and is published with authorization from Mijian. The content in this article is Miyou’s personal opinion only. Different patients choose different treatment methods, and their treatment experiences are only for learning and exchange. If you want to communicate with the author of this article, download Mijian APP and search for "Yu Sheng An Hao 22", you can find this Mi friend, and you can also read more anti-cancer experiences
Authorization of the article: Yu Sheng Anhao 22
Editor in charge: Mi Jian Popular Science Jun
