people's discomfort comes largely from " cognitive dissonance ".
"Cognitive dissonance" refers to feeling stressed when holding two conflicting and inconsistent ideas at the same time.
For example, you like smoking very much. However, the cigarette box clearly states that "smoking is harmful to health" and even leads to cancer risk. At this time, you will definitely feel very confused, awkward and uncomfortable. How to solve
? Or how can I feel more comfortable?
has only two ways: either stop smoking or change your cognition.
You will think, who has been smoking for the rest of his life, now he is ninety, and he is still alive. There is also that person who has never smoked a cigarette in his life and ended up with lung cancer.
If all our cognitions in our hearts are coordinated and consistent, we will feel comfortable. If cognition is contradictory, we will feel uncomfortable and find ways to make adjustments. The instinctive reaction is to make excuses for yourself to maintain inner balance and make yourself feel more comfortable. This is called "self-interest distortion".
cognitive dissonance often comes from the limitations of the "confirmation bias" and "reference system" mentioned in the previous article. Once you begin to carefully examine the "cognitive biases" you may fall into, leave your narrow "reference system" and look for confirmation biases and cognitive dissonance, you will soon find that they are often included in your existing ideas.
In daily life, there are two tactical thinking models that can help you overcome the deep-rooted limitations of "confirmation deviation" and "reference system".
First of all, you might as well try "grayscale thinking"
For a thing, most people make judgments immediately and judge polarization. That is, they will subconsciously divide things into good or bad, right or wrong, black or white, friends or enemies. However, the true wise man can see the gray area inherent in a certain situation.
The essence of "grayscale thinking" is: don't form your final view of an event before you exhaust all relevant facts and arguments. Writer Fitzgerald said: "Testing a person's intelligence is superior depends on whether the mind can accommodate two opposite ideas at the same time without hindering his behavior."
The second thinking model that helps you eliminate "provement bias" is the "devil defender".
"Devil's Defense Attorney" means taking the opposite side, which is the point you simply disagree with. You must let him speak fully, listen carefully, and try to understand from his position.
As the famous investor Charlie Munger said: "If I don't know his argument better than the other party, I will never allow myself to express any opinions."