Author: Helen Kennerly
Source: Machinery Industry Press book "Breaking the Anxiety Cycle (Original Book 2nd Edition)"
/01
Why me?
"I have always been a sentimental person. My mother would remind me of the dangers of germs and we could only go into her kitchen if it was clean. My grandfather would always predict the bleak future of things and make us very scared. Now I am just like them! I always see and fear the worst, just like my mother I have a severe case of mysophobia. I also have a very stressful job, which is not good. I limit myself to things because I'm always busy, which also means I don't have much of a social life, which often makes me depressed."
Worries, fears, and anxieties affect us differently: some of us are very sensitive to them, others are more resilient. Anyone who struggles with anxiety-related issues has asked, "Why me?" This is an important question, and the answer will help you better understand your disorder, putting you in a better position to face your fears. understanding "why me" can put the problem into perspective and tell you where you need to make changes in your lifestyle, outlook on life and mentality. Approaches to preventing and managing worry, fear, and anxiety vary from person to person and, to some extent, depend on your understanding of the aspects of your life that may predispose you to these problems (i.e., risk factors).
In general, risk factors for anxiety-related problems are related to:
Personality type, genes, and family
Environment, life stress, and social support
Psychological coping styles
/02
Personality Type, Genes, and Family
"I've always been a sentimental person."
Some people have a personality or personality that seems to make them more likely to worry or be anxious. Although the importance of personality type is still highly debated, many researchers agree that certain personalities appear to be linked to a tendency toward anxiety. As early as the early 1960s, cardiologists discovered a "Type A" personality , which seemed to have higher blood pressure and was more likely to have stress problems. “Type A” personalities strive for the best and tend to ignore symptoms of stress. Around the same time, the term "neurotic" was used to describe people who were prone to triggering stress responses but were slow to recover. This group of people is prone to anxiety.
Being a particular "personality type" doesn't mean you're doomed to have anxiety, however. People with a "Type A" personality who have the ability to change their behavior and outlook could benefit from becoming calmer and have fewer associated health problems, a promising finding suggests.
Perhaps even more promising is the track record of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) for anxiety problems: study after study shows that CBT can help anxious people learn to control their anxiety. So even if you think you're a "worrier" or "always a sentimental person," you can expect to change your outlook on life and the way you think about yourself.
Our genes have long been a common suspect in anxiety problems. We know that early fear in our genes protects us. We are born with certain "phobias" - fear of strangers, heights, snake-like objects, novelty, squirming crawlers, and, at some point in childhood, separation. From an evolutionary perspective, this is great. Over time, with encouragement from adults, children learn not to overreact to these triggers. However, some people carry these fears with them into adulthood, which is why we are not always sure of the trigger for the fear—there may never have been a trigger and we just haven't forgotten the fear. All of this suggests that fear can be encoded in our genes and may run in families.
Research has shown that anxiety disorders can run in families, although it's hard to know whether this is purely a genetic influence or the result of family members observing each other's behavior and heeding each other's warnings.
"My mother would remind me of the dangers of germs, and we could only go into her kitchen if it was clean. My grandfather would always predict a bleak future for us, which would make us very scared."
A frightened mother is likely to pass on her health concerns to her young daughter, so fear is not always innate. Again, this is good news because even if anxiety runs in the family, it's possible to overcome this fear or worry about . Even if you grew up in a French-speaking household and only learned to communicate in French, you can still learn another language if needed, and likewise, you can learn new responses to feared things and situations.
/03
Environment, life stress and social support
"I also have a stressful job, which is not good."
The environment can affect our emotional state, and trauma, stress, and relationship difficulties also play a role in episodes of anxiety and depression. "Loss events" (such as the end of a relationship or losing a job) are often associated with the onset of depression, which will only get better if there is hope; "threat events" (such as the diagnosis of a disease or the approach of an exam) are associated with the onset of anxiety disorders; and "safety events" are associated with recovery from anxiety disorders and depression. For example, a student will be more stressed before and during an exam (threat event), but less stressed when she hears that she passed the exam (security event).
Critical events can be "non-recurring" (such as an accident, job loss), or they can be ongoing stressors (such as chronic physical illness, long-term financial problems, or fear of layoffs). It doesn't have to be an unpleasant event to cause stress: 's adaptation to any change can cause stress. Often enjoyable events like getting married, moving, or having a baby can also be stressful. So, when you assess your personal risk for stress-related problems, you also need to consider both positive and negative events. You also need to remember that the effects of life stress add up; the more stressed you are, the more likely you are to feel stressed and anxious. Unfortunately, life events are often interconnected, which means life itself is prone to problems.
Even past life events have an impact. The dangers and insecurities experienced in childhood often cause us to overestimate the dangers and underestimate our ability to cope. Our early threats appear to have kept us on "Alert Level 1".
Researchers studying the effects of stressful events have also identified what is known as a "protective factor" known as social support . It’s clear that the more friends we have, especially those we can confide in, the less affected we are by the stresses of life. Quite simply, our vulnerability to emotional problems decreases as social support increases. This is good news because there are things many of us can do to improve our social relationships.
Social support can take many forms: close and honest relationships, relatively casual friendships, or extensive supportive relationships such as work partners, mothers of other children in daycare, etc. All of these can help us resist stress, but relationships that allow both parties to feel open and honest are the most useful. Talking really helps. The more social support we have, the more protected we are, so it is especially important to turn to friends for help when we face major life events and life crises. Ideally, we should all have a few close friends and a few less close friends, although this is not easy to do. But you have to remember that a close friend can protect you in the face of stress.
Being active in social activities or simply maintaining a friendship can be a huge challenge for someone with anxiety, especially if the problem also includes shyness and social phobia. Still, if you're socially isolated, it's worth starting to think about how you can improve your social support. If you are shy and have social anxiety, the book Breaking the Anxiety Cycle has some strategies to help you. Once you learn them, you'll feel more confident taking on challenges, and research shows it's worth it.
/04
Psychological Coping Styles
“I would always see and fear the worst-case scenario...I would limit myself to things...which would often frustrate me.”
“Why Me?” The final part of the trilogy is about our minds and the way we respond to stress and challenges.
Research shows that our current emotional state affects the way we see things and also filters our memories. If I'm confident and in a good mood, then I see the "glass as half full" and take on challenges with optimism. Additionally, when I recall past experiences, I am more likely to recall those happy events and my memories will be more positive. That's all well and good, but if I'm depressed or anxious, the "glass" looks "half empty" and I'm more likely to recall unhappy or frightening memories. Therefore, not only would I feel quite hopeless, but I would also feel as if life had always been like this. The good news is that we can still use anxiety management strategies to break this pattern, but we have to admit it’s a difficult task.
Research shows that most ordinary people have good coping strategies for psychological problems, so you may have found some good coping methods and now you can improve on them. Common coping methods include
Trying to stay busy or using other distraction methods
Face the worry head-on and try to solve the problem
The least popular methods are to consume drugs and alcohol. This is good news.
Activities, distractions, facing fears, and problem solving can all help, but as the old saying goes, too much is too much: too much distraction can lead us into avoidance traps; if we face our fears too aggressively without proper preparation, we may find ourselves ill-equipped to deal with them. Of course, excessive use of drugs or alcohol not only becomes a means of avoidance but also poses risks to our physical health.
So you need to re-examine the way you respond and find out what's working against you, rather than just focusing on the good. As you read this book, you'll discover lots of ideas for curbing your overused coping strategies, as well as ideas for adding other effective strategies to your repertoire.
Summary
Our vulnerability to anxiety-related issues is often the result of a combination of factors, not just one. For example:
Xiao Yi’s family is full of worry and depression. When she was under extreme stress and didn't have a good friend to talk to, she developed OCD. Under other circumstances, Yi might never have developed OCD, but unfortunately, her routine and environment combined to create her disorder.
Perhaps now you can answer the question: “Why me?” It’s worth thinking about this question, because the answer will help you find a new perspective on understanding the obstacles you encounter. If you can understand these obstacles, you will be less self-critical and it will be easier to understand what changes need to be made to overcome these obstacles.
About the author:
Helen Kennerley
British National Health Service clinical psychology consultant, Oxford University senior associate tutor.
Writer: Helen Kennerley
Editor in charge: Wang Zheng
Reviewer: Li Shuanglei
"Breaking the Anxiety Cycle (Original Book 2nd Edition)"
Author: Helen Kennerley Kennerley)
The self-help project of the British National Health Service
uses cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to overcome anxiety
Break the inertial reaction and rebuild a better life
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