Guan Xinying Psychological Counseling | If you have a school aversion, go to Guan Xinying.
powerful cousin:
My cousin is very talented and has won the first place in the city's math, but what should I do if I get tired of studying?
I am my cousin. I have a good relationship with this younger brother before, and I have discussed all the principles and discussed in the future. As a result, my cousin said directly that before growing up, I just starved to death. It's okay if I don't take such a tormenting world. Now I just want to play happily and leave. What should we do?
Aversion to learning and this doctoral student:
First of all, you are so happy to be so kind to me. You are a very considerate cousin, but unfortunately, this matter is not something you can solve. This first principle must be remembered that you are his cousin, and you cannot solve your cousin's affairs.
What should we do if our children are tired of learning? The family will win the transformation. What does
mean? Regarding the problem of children's aversion to learning, there is a numerical ratio called 136. 10% is in children, 30% is in school, and 60% is in family.
So the real focus is his family, his parents!
Can you solve his family problems? No.
Your cousin’s parents may be your uncle, aunt, aunt, uncle, uncle, uncle, etc.
Can you solve the problem of elders? Can you let them change their attitude?
The answer is often no.
Because they are elders, even if you are very accomplished now, even if you do your job well now, they will still think you are a child. You are a junior.
Who should I listen to? ——Listen to adults.
Because they are adults and people of higher generations.
So you can't solve the problem of elders, you can't change the views of elders. You cannot solve the problem of
.
What should we do? Just say, I don’t care? Or ignore it?
is not true. As cousins, we should care about our younger brother. Just do a little bit.
- support my cousin and stand up for him.
Your cousin is facing such great pressure and is already tired of learning that he says it’s meaningless to live.
Is he under great pressure? Very big.
I can tell your classmates, you must remember that all children who are tired of learning are motivated children.
Your cousin, he wants to learn and learn well.
If he is used to it, I don’t want to learn well, he will not be under such great pressure.
He must be motivated, but his abilities cannot match his motivated.
caused him to feel very stressed.
I share a formula for you: pressure = motivation - ability.
So when you have sufficient power, it will be very troublesome if you don’t match your abilities.
Because the ability is difficult to improve in the short term.
What should I do if I have a lot of pressure? And you will find that the greater the pressure, the less energy a person has, the less energy he has to improve his abilities.
What will he think of to relieve his stress?
The pressure is too great and the ability cannot be improved. What will happen?
will reduce motivation.
So what is the instinct for children at this time? Reduce your motivation.
Originally, your cousin was the number one in the city of Mathematical Olympiad. You must learn great achievements and be a big shot in the future and be successful.
But the ability cannot keep up, what should I do? Lying flat, don't do it anymore.
Why does my motivation decrease and my ability remains unchanged? What will happen to my pressure?
has become smaller, right?
But the child is forced to reduce his motivation, and he still has motivation.
He wants to become better, but he doesn’t have this ability, and it is difficult to improve his ability in the short term.
If you don’t lie flat, the pressure will arise, which is also the reason why external encouragement is often useless.
Because children do not lack motivation and ability, ability improvement is the key.
so what is the correct way to do it?
You go to comfort him, support him, encourage him, and reduce his stress.
Through your care, support and encouragement, it relieves stress.
At this time, he has more energy to improve his abilities, and then his abilities will be improved.
When his ability improves, his pressure will be further reduced.
Your cousin will increase your motivation again.
The growth of people is such a cycle.
So in this case your cousin shows, you just do something, stand on his side to support him, encourage him, and comfort him.
And you need to know the third point, when your cousin's situation is very serious, everyone in the family may not understand him, do not support him, or accept him except you.
How is his pressure becoming? Will get bigger and more anxious.
Everyone will blame the school-averse families and school-averse children, and the pressure is actually very high.
What are the relatives and friends at this time what opinions are? I don't feel pain when I speak while standing.
I tell you what most relatives and friends think.
Because most of the relatives and friends are also adults, they understand adults more or your cousin’s parents more.
And what do they pay more attention to? In the past, it was an era of material scarcity, and everyone paid more attention to material things.
The basic remarks of everyone are that you look at this child, the child is ignorant.
You see that his parents are so kind to him, and they provide him with so many conditions, giving money, things, convenience conditions, and giving so many things, but they are not satisfied and ignorant.
You say your child is under great pressure? You said the child wants face? You said that children need dignity? They don't think it's worth it!
understand? In fact, what children need now is understanding, support and encouragement.
Not only can’t do it, but also puts some damage.
So what should I do as a cousin?
You must support and encourage him from the perspective of your cousin.
When his stress is relieved, he will improve his abilities later.
Real success requires improvement of ability.
I want to be the richest man in China. I have this idea. Is it useful to have such motivation? Useless.
Like your cousin said I want to get first place in the school. Is it useful?
is useless! He is not capable of it.
Therefore, the realization of real results requires the improvement of his ability.
But when he is under too much pressure, he does not have the energy to improve his abilities. What is his energy all about?
all relieves his pressure.
What should I do at this time? The outside world comes to help the child relieve the pressure, this is what my cousin should do.
Tips for children’s aversion to learning and this doctoral student:
What should children do if they are unhappy with learning? The family will win the transformation.
The reason why children hate learning is just to care about rankings and minds.
Children's aversion to learning and difficulty in managing their studies.
Children are tired of learning to rebel, and they are tired of dropping out of school after taking a break and dropping out of school.
Children are disgusted with learning and don’t let them be depressed.
