Not long ago, the news that parents took their children to the hospital to see the outpatient clinic for learning difficulties became a hot search.
I didn’t expect that many of these children were due to poor attention.
htmlThis is the case with the 38-year-old boy Lele. The teacher communicated with his mother many times that Lele couldn't sit still in class, and even wrote a line of words in one class.
Doctor asked the mother, "How is the child doing homework at home?"
Mother said, "Working homework at home is also to do it while you are writing and playing, touching the eraser, and then touching something else."
Doctor asked again, "Is it affecting the child's academic performance?"
Mother could only helplessly say, "The impact is particularly great."
Mother could only say helplessly: "The impact is particularly great."
Doctor also asked Lele: "Do you have many good friends in school?"
Lele answered weakly: "Not too many."
Finally, the doctor pointed out the problem with Lele:
mainly because of inattention and inability to control himself. It not only affects his studies, but also affects him in daily life.
Seeing this, I couldn't help but feel sorry for Lele's poor attention affected his study and life, and also feel sorry for his mother's anxiety and helplessness.
Children's poor attention not only affects their studies, but also affects their personality and life. Parents must not ignore it.
(the performance and impact of children's attention)
Let children get rid of the bad habit of poor attention. You might as well try these 4 psychological effects to help children become more focused.
Overlimit effect: destroying a child's concentration is to keep saying that
" I have told you 100 times, why are you always wandering in class?"
"When you do your homework, you are always inattentive and concentrate! Did you hear it?"
"How many times have you told you, why are you still going into your left ear and out of your right ear?"
Do these words sound familiar?
Why do parents emphasize that children still like to be absent-minded and can’t sit still when doing homework?
In fact, you are likely to be trapped in "overlimit effect" .
means that the same stimulus has a long time, too strong and too high frequency on people, which will cause people to experience impatient psychological experience and eventually cause disgusting and resisting behaviors.
famous writer Mark﹒ Twain was deeply moved by the pastor at first when he was listening to the speech in the church, but after a long time, the speech still did not end.
Mark Twain 's emotions changed from impatient to angry and finally turned into resentment.
The fundraising he originally decided to "donate more money" to "donate only some change", and in the end he stole two yuan from the donation box.
Mark Twain's psychological changes are caused by the "overlimit effect".
"Water is full, overflowing, and the moon is full, loss." This is the same thing.
Parents will not only not have the expected effect, but will instead cause children to be impatient and rebellious. Over time, it will naturally make it more difficult for children to concentrate.
So, how to avoid the overlimit effect in parent-child communication?
First, appropriately stay away from the "learning scene" of children.
Only by giving the dominance of learning back to the child, without criticizing or overdisturbing, can the child's concentration be truly protected.
Second, pay attention to the "degree" in everything.
You must effectively control excessive urging, nagging, criticism and accusations, and over-preaching, just like a pair of scissors, which not only cuts off the child's attention, but also cuts off the child's initiative and enthusiasm for learning.
tutoring homework should not be always on the lookout, and check with the child after finishing the work; the child will procrastinate and be inattentive, tell the child the consequences of not finishing the homework, and let the child bear it himself.
3 Third, learn to think from the perspective of others.
Think more about the reasons behind the children's poor attention. Children's poor attention when studying may also be due to learning difficulties, or they may be due to their young age and poor attention. Parents should look for reasons with their children and overcome difficulties.
Cocktail Party Effect: Games are the best way to attract and train children's attention
At the cocktail party where people are drinking and clamoring, the protagonist can still concentrate on talking to others, and can react immediately when someone calls her name.
Psychologically, this phenomenon is called " Cocktail Party Effect ".
That is, when a person's attention is focused on something, some irrelevant stimuli will be excluded from the subconscious mind.
A psychologist once conducted an experiment:
He put papers of various colors into boxes of the same color as it, and observed the child's concentration time.
Results He found that when simply completing the task, a 4-year-old child can persist for 17 minutes, and a 6-year-old child can persist for 62 minutes.
And through the game, 4-year-old children can persist for 22 minutes, 6-year-old children can persist for 71 minutes, and the number of sticks placed separately is 50% more than simply completing tasks.
is visible. Children are born to love playing and like to play games. Games can arouse children's great interest and can also make their attention more concentrated and stable.
My cousin's daughter Yiyi has just entered the first grade. The teacher always told her that Yiyi is not focused in class and is prone to missed.
In order to improve Yiyi's attention, my cousin began to play the "Stay Watch" game with Yiyi.
Yiyi was difficult to concentrate at the beginning, but later she became more and more accurate. Since then, whether she was listening to classes at school or doing homework at home, she has become more attentive and serious.
Therefore, we can take our children to play more interesting games to improve their children's attention from various aspects such as vision, auditory, and motor coordination.
For example, building blocks, puzzles, origami, walking on mazes, beads, finding different things, etc., not only exercises children's ability to concentrate, but also cultivates children's patience and care.
Environmental effect: A good environment is the prerequisite for cultivating children's concentration
Child psychology experts have found that
3~7-year-old children have poor attention to stability and are easily distracted by external stimulation.
I once read a post online:
Parents specially signed up for their children to piano classes. At the beginning, the children were quite interested in playing the piano and practiced in their own room whenever they had time.
But after a while, the child's interest in learning piano became weaker.
It turned out that when the child was decorating the children's room, the mother considered that she was a boy, so she put the room on the room with Ultraman and cartoon patterns, and also put the desk with her son's favorite remote-controlled cars and toy guns .
This made it difficult for my son to calm down when he was practicing piano in the room. He played with remote control car for a while, and stared at the cartoon pattern for a long time.
Mom couldn't help but shook her head and sighed: Why did the room she had put in great effort to arrange provides the best environment for her children, but the child still couldn't practice the piano well?
Although the mother started with a good starting point, what she didn't know was that the room was decorated too much and toys were piled up, so that the child could not concentrate on practicing the piano, which instead distracted the child's attention.
"36 Ways to Cultivate Children's Attention" provides the following suggestions for children to create a good learning environment:
First, the room layout should be simple and tidy.
Do not place too many decorations and toys, nor do you pile up too many debris to avoid distracting children's attention.
Second, the room color should be simple and bright.
Strong colors will stimulate children's nerves and easily encourage impetuous emotions. Simple and peaceful tones will help children think about problems quietly.
3 Third, parents participate in creating a family atmosphere.
Parents should live in harmony. When their children are studying, avoid noisy activities such as playing mahjong and watching TV, so that their children have a good environmental foundation for concentration.
3 The threshold effect : Decompose the target, let the child go from resisting and delaying to focusing
" Aesop's fable " has a story:
A hungry and cold homeless man came to the door of a rich man's house. From the beginning, he only asked the servant to go in for warmth, to ask the chef to borrow a pot to cook soup, and finally he drank the hot vegetable leaf and meat soup beautifully.
Why did neither the servant nor the cook refuse the homeless man's repeated requests?
This is the psychology "street threshold effect" :
When an individual accepts a small request first, he is likely to accept a larger request that he may not have agreed to.
There is an unknown player in Japan, who unexpectedly won the world championship twice in a row.
More than a year later, Motoichi Yamada finally revealed the mystery in his autobiography:
"Before every competition, I have to take a car to carefully look at the route of the competition and draw the more eye-catching signs along the way, such as the first sign is a bank; the second sign is a big tree, and the third sign is a house... This way, I will draw until the end of the schedule. After the competition begins, I rushed towards the first goal at a speed of 100 meters. After reaching the first goal, I rushed towards the second goal at the same speed. The schedule of more than 40 kilometers was broken down by me into These few small goals were easily completed. "
As the poet Goethe said:
"It is not enough to take steps towards the ultimate goal that you will finally achieve one day, and you must regard each step as a goal. Make it work as a step."
We can take our children to decompose the learning tasks, adopt a gradual approach, divide the big goals into practical small goals, and achieve greater results through the realization of a series of small goals.
For example, when doing homework, you can guide your child to develop the habit of doing homework lists. Every time you complete a homework, you will check it on the list. When the messy homework becomes a clear and visible small goal, the child can focus on completing homework efficiently.
Another example, when encountering difficulties, let the child complete simple learning tasks first so that it is not easy for him to become resistant, and then take him with him to solve difficult problems in a timely manner, and give positive feedback and encouragement, which is more conducive to the child's concentration.
French biologist George Cuewier said:
"Genius, the first thing is attention. Attention is the window of knowledge. Without it, the sunlight of knowledge cannot shine in."
reduces excessive preaching and criticism, and gives children a quiet and focused space;
takes children to play their favorite games, so that they can focus more carefully in the game;
creates an orderly family environment, so that children have a good learning atmosphere;
decomposes learning tasks for children, so that they can become more and more focused in upgrading and fighting monsters. At least half of the responsibility for education lies with parents.
We need enough patience, love and tolerance, and use the right method.
Then, wait for the flowers to bloom.
