Do you sometimes feel confused and at a loss? Are you sometimes at a loss when facing psychological problems of yourself or your family? Do you desire some simple and easy-to-understand psychological common sense?

Do you sometimes feel confused and at a loss?

Are you sometimes at a loss when facing psychological problems of yourself or your family?

Do you desire some simple and easy-to-understand psychological common sense?

Now the East District Youth League Committee and the Committee for the Elderly Workers of the Elderly will push some

psychological cases, psychological common sense, psychological problem counseling and other knowledge

What psychological problems do you want to consult

can also leave a message in the message area or in the background

"micro-tree hole"

Ask us questions!

Let’s enter

This issue of “Weiqingxin” small class

This issue of Tuantuan will tell you how to raise a happy and warm child

html Children before the age of 33 need attachment, and parents should meet their physiological needs in time;

3-12-year-old children need rules, Parents should firmly say "no" to them;

Adolescent children need the right to choose, and parents should patiently regard them as friends...

The famous criminal psychology and teenage psychology expert Professor Li Meijin , through contact with a large number of cases, after years of investigation and practice, it was found that people's behavior and psychology in adulthood are manifestations and reflections in past experiences, and are closely related to the way of family raising in childhood. "What you have in your eyes and your heart will have what you have."

Some parents can’t help but wonder, how can they make their children’s eyes full of happiness and warmth? Professor Li Meijin has given some methods for raising children at different stages for your reference.

01 0-3 years old Emotional support

Attachment is the origin of emotion. When a child forms an attachment relationship with someone, he will feel happy when he is with the attachment partner; when he is sad, only when the attachment partner appears will the child feel comforted. When attachment is satisfied, it will be very happy and relaxed. When a person is in a relaxed state, it will be very happy to see things outside.

In real life, Li Meijin often encounters such heartbreaking cases: "Many children experience behaviors that hurt their parents during adolescence. No need to ask, most of these children were not raised by their parents before the age of 12, and emotional connections were not formed."

, which originated from the United States, was once popular all over the world, and some young parents in our country also pursued it - children cannot be picked up immediately when they cry, which is conducive to cultivating children's good habit of sleeping independently and avoiding the habit of crying.

Professor Li Meijin disagrees with this view. She said that in the period, when she is unable to take care of herself when eating, drinking, defecating, urinating, sleeping, children can only express their pain by crying. At this time, parents should immediately pick up their children to comfort them.

Children who have been crying for a long time and cannot be comforted will form excessively tense memories in their internal organs, which will affect the child's temper.

For example, there are many "road nur" and "keyboard warriors" in life. However, their hot tempers of "just one" may be due to their parents' "extensive" raising, and their various physiological needs within one year have not been met.

02 3-12 years old Personality raising

Love is a kind of nutrition, but not all. From the age of 3, children gradually have the ability to understand and express, which is a critical period for children to "set rules".

When the age of three, parents should learn to say "no" to their children; when the age of four, parents should teach their children to wait and be self-disciplined; when the age of five, parents should teach their children to learn to manage themselves in temptation training, and demonstrate in practice how to share with others; when the age of six, children should learn the spirit of hard work and perseverance in sports.

At around 3 years old, the child’s crying is no longer a physical need, but a psychological need. So how to stop children from crying unreasonably?

Crying without using

For example, because the child cannot get a mobile phone, he cannot watch cartoons and cry at home.At this time, the parents should be carrying the child into the bedroom and watching the child cry with a smile one-on-one.

Until the child is tired of crying, parents can get up and leave to get a hot towel to wipe their child's face, so that the child can feel the love for him.

When the child's emotions stabilize, parents will then reason with their children calmly: "If the mother wants to look at the phone, but the father doesn't give it to the mother, the mother will cry like you just now, okay? You have grown up, you can tell what needs you have, and crying cannot solve the problem."

When facing the child's education problems, Li Meijin reminds parents that should especially do the "four notes" when educating their children: don't scold the children, don't beat the children, don't reason with the children who are crying, don't leave the children.

"For children who are crying, the parents' principles are like noise in their ears; similarly, if they leave their children alone in the room to reflect, it is equivalent to being confined and has no educational significance."

encourages children to learn to express their ideas, listen to their parents' ideas, and establish a democratic communication model with their children.

Many parents report that "children do not like to study when they go to middle school, and cannot sit still in class, and look around, which will greatly affect their academic performance." Li Meijin found that most children who are not focused have grown up with their grandparents and other ancestors since childhood. This is because the elderly have no rhythm or regularity in their lives. "Sometimes, they can give their children a sweet potato, and then take their children to visit their neighbors' houses. Over time, the children's attention becomes distracted."

The unrhythmic parenting in the early years will make people lack control over themselves as adults.

How can children around the age of four start to understand waiting and endure, thereby cultivating self-discipline awareness?

Buy toys for your children in a planned manner

Choose a relaxing weekend, and parents can take their children to the mall to choose toys.

After the child has chosen it, the parents can say: "This toy is beyond our plan. Do you know why parents go to work every day? The salary is only once every 30 days. You need to plan to buy everything at home. Your toy costs 120 yuan, but according to the mother's budget plan, we can only buy toys worth 100 yuan. If we buy it home today, we will have no money for next week."

"If the mother works hard this week and works overtime this week, she can buy this toy home next weekend!"

Parents can use this opportunity to make requests for their children, because you have to work overtime, you have to go to bed early, eat obediently, and clean up their toys...

Delayed gratification will let the child learn to wait and endure.

In addition to buying toys, Professor Li Meijin suggested that after the age of , parents can use weekends to let their children sit at the desk and do something quietly, which can be puzzles, paintings, etc. When the child is three years old, he insists on completing a painting for 10 minutes, and when the child is four years old, he can concentrate for 35 minutes of class time after he goes to school at the age of six.

From the age of five, the ability to manage yourself and share with others should also be gradually developed. At this time, parents should use temptation training appropriately to help their children form such abilities. How to cultivate children’s self-management ability?

Teduction of chocolate

Prepare a child's favorite snack, such as chocolate. Design a game, divide the chocolate into three parts, take out two of them and say to the child, "Baby, give you both chocolates, you can manage them independently. If you can eat one part today and another part tomorrow, then mom will reward you with one more part tomorrow."

In most cases, when a child has the right to decide for the first time, he will eat two chocolates at one time, and naturally he will not get the reward of the third chocolate.

A month later, when playing games for the second time, the child will learn from the lessons, taste chocolate according to the plan, and gradually develop the good habit of self-discipline.

tells the child, "This is a test for you by your mother, don't worry, learn to wait when you grow up."

Sharing on the dining table

When I was a child, I always prepared tables, chairs, bowls and chopsticks before the meal, and only after my family took my seat would I turn on the chopsticks.

My father cannot eat on time when working overtime, so my mother will definitely leave him a separate meal with clean dishes. The best fruits will also be left to the non-home family.

The little things in parents’ lives will let children learn how to share.

Children should participate in more physical activities from the age of four to cultivate hard work.

Hardworking and hardworking in exercise

Children will be irritated during running . After this stage, you will find that there are no adverse reactions. At this time, parents can tell their children, "This will also happen in life. It is very difficult to work at the beginning. After persisting for a period of time, you will find that it is not the case."

When a child learns to swim, he will be very scared and feel that he is going to die. Later he will find that as long as he does not give up, he will definitely learn it.

At this time, parents can tell their children, "Everything is done by not knowing what they are. This process is the process of controlling the outside world by themselves. You cannot refuse to try it just because you are afraid."

03 12-18 years old Personality raising

Girls are 12 years old and boys are 14 years old, secondary sexual characteristics begins to develop, and the child enters puberty.

When faced middle school students, parents should first change their educational concepts, help their children grow up, and respect their children's right to choose. For example, after the child enters the second year of junior high school, parents can discuss future career directions with their children, and at least provide their children with several future career choices. Guide in the process of selection, rather than rough "tube".

TV series " Pi ", the little protagonist Lin Miaomiao is a high school student in adolescence. Lin Miaomiao has obvious advantages in liberal arts, but math, physics and chemistry are a mess. Her mother forced her to pass all subjects...

So when the child has learning difficulties, how should parents guide them? What should I do if I have learning difficulties in

?

Professor Li Meijin's daughter did not have ideal math grades in high school, so she found an excellent teacher to teach her, but her daughter bluntly said that she had no value in math, so she might as well spend money on English and history.

out of respect for his daughter, focused on the tutoring subjects in English and history. In the end, his daughter's English score increased by more than 50 points in the college entrance examination.

Children have the clearest awareness of themselves, and should give them the opportunity to express themselves and respect their rhythm.

Picking clothes is like finding a partner

Li Meijin used the case of picking clothes to teach her daughter how to establish a correct view of love when she was in junior high school.

Once, the mother and daughter selected clothes in the mall. When they walked to the first shop, their daughter took a fancy to a piece of clothing. Li Meijin encouraged her to go to other shops in addition to this dress. During the continuous shopping trip, her daughter found other more favorable choices in the comparison.

Li Meijin took this opportunity to say: "Find a partner is like choosing clothes. Middle school is the first store. If you 'love early' in middle school, you may not see a better boy in the future." The daughter suddenly realized and gradually developed a correct view of love.

people's lives must not only have a healthy body, a harmonious family, good interpersonal relationships, etc. The richer the emotions, the happier the children. Don't force their children to achieve success simply.

Parenting is to invest in the child's psychology. This investment is priceless. Through investment, children can remember the voice, appearance, and smell of the parent, and form attachment. It is an invisible psychological capital and a huge wealth on the child's future life path.

Disclaimer: If the content of the article involves the content of the work, copyright and other issues, please contact this official account within 30 days, and we will delete the content as soon as possible.

Article source: China Education Daily

point share

point collection