Each of us will have some psychological problems to one degree or another. These psychological traumas come from all aspects of our lives. From school to work, we will encounter various psychological distress. So what should we do if we encounter psychological problems? Come and take a look! In a group meeting, a nearly 30-year-old woman lowered her head and told everyone slowly. When she was a child, she was washing vegetables at a relative's house and was hated by adults: "Why are you so useless? Can you take a look while washing the vegetables? You are so stupid. You don't know what to eat when you grow up..." ...". At that time, she wanted to find a hole in the ground to crawl down.
In such an atmosphere, the "sense of low value" of "I am stupid", "I am incompetent", "I am useless" was planted in her heart. When she grew up, whenever she encountered problems or questions, she felt that she could not do anything well. Although she works hard and is excellent. But there was no joy in my heart, only anxiety and low self-esteem that grew day by day.
Later, through psychological consultation and chatting with doctors, I went back to the scene of that year. Only then did I know that I couldn’t wash at that time. It was not really stupid or incompetent, it was just other people’s opinions. , I don’t need to take any responsibility.
02
The psychological problems between mothers and children
Yes, as long as we are alive, each of us has to face all kinds of inexplicable judgments, comparisons, accusations and ridicules.
Many mothers told me that they simply did not want to return to their hometown during the Spring Festival. It’s not that I’m unfilial, it’s not that I’m afraid of trouble, or I don’t like the filth and chaos in the countryside, it’s that I’m afraid of facing all kinds of preaching and comments from my seven aunts and eight aunts.
My son does not like to eat meat by nature and is relatively thin. Back home, people always hold their children and talk about things. "Like a skinny monkey, eat more and eat well. You always feel that your child is still a child, but in fact he has never eaten anything outside." "And a stay-at-home mother? It's like running away from a refugee camp!" The son retorted unhappily, and everyone said, "It's impolite and small-minded." The child was extremely angry, but could only hold it in.
My daughter likes to eat meat, but she is a bit fat. When she returned to her hometown, people kept talking: "Girls who are fat are not good-looking, and they cannot get married when they grow up"; "In what age, they eat like this, they have no knowledge"; "Eat too much Junk food will definitely make you sick, get cancer ”, children feel that living is so sinful.
The child scored 89 points in the exam, but when he returned to his hometown, everyone praised his cousin for scoring 99 points and asked his daughter to learn from his cousin many times. During the meal, the whole family took turns serving food to his cousin. The daughter lowered her head and rubbed around outside the yard. The father felt very embarrassed and scolded his daughter: "I don't have good grades, but I still run around with my job to see how sensible my cousin is." The whole family took it for granted, except the girl who was ashamed to raise her head. The above are just a few small cases. In the process of interpersonal communication, not only positive energy is exchanged, but many bad traces are also left. For example, it can produce a sense of neglect, disgust, frustration, powerlessness, and fear; it can produce emotions such as dissatisfaction, dissatisfaction, anger, sadness, sorrow, jealousy, etc.
Therefore, whenever we deal with people, we will inevitably get hurt.
Still, many injuries are casual or even very minor. It seems that if you don't pay attention to it, it will disappear. But in fact, it does not completely disappear, but is partially deposited in the subconscious. Once the scene reappears, it will jump out and continue to haunt people.
So, how should we deal with the unconscious harm between people around us and even loved ones? How can you protect yourself or your children from these seemingly unintentional injuries?
04
First of all, admit that
psychological problems exist
First of all, we must realize that the various discomforts, worries and even resentments caused by the interactions between these people actually exist all the time and need to be seen.
If you turn a blind eye to these negative emotions, they will accumulate little by little.
As time goes by, when you encounter something unpleasant one day, as long as you ferment it a little, these emotions will directly change the taste and lose control. Many emotional disorders are caused by the accumulation in adolescence.
We all know that food can give us life energy. However, it is also creating waste. Every time we finish a meal, we have to clean the kitchen; every time we finish a meal, we have to clean the plates and chopsticks. This way, we can continue cooking and circulating energy. The same goes for the
room. It can give us a sense of security and pleasure. But at the same time, it creates garbage every day. Every morning, we have to clean the room, mop the floor, and dump the garbage; only in this way can the windows of the room be bright, clean, and warm.
Imagine if you turn a blind eye to the garbage, the garbage accumulates in the kitchen, and the dirt settles on the table, plates and chopsticks, slowly becoming moldy and smelly. By then, the kitchen is no longer synonymous with food. There was no scent on the table, but there was smelly garbage and cockroaches crawling all over it.
Communicating with people is like delicious food. It brings us joyful growth and replenishes the energy of our lives, but it also produces all kinds of emotional garbage. For these emotional residues, we must first see them, be aware of their existence, and then clean them up regularly. Otherwise, it can have a serious impact on us over time.
05
Ways to effectively regulate
psychological problems
When the mood is relatively stable. Exercise is the best, most effective, safest and most direct way to express emotions.
Many forms of exercise can release negative emotions, absorb positive emotions, make emotions flow and circulate quickly, and have a good elimination effect on negative emotions. For example: playing ball, walking, jogging, hiking, swimming, Tai Chi and singing, etc.
You can choose one or several forms of exercise to stick to according to your own preferences and physical condition. People who have not exercised for a long time can choose low-intensity exercise first, and the time should not be too long; after adapting, increase the time and intensity. Exercise is step by step and stick to it every day.
Some people usually don’t exercise much, but when they want to exercise, they just run for 1 to 2 hours. As a result, my whole body ached several times and I couldn't hold on any longer. On the contrary, people who exercise for more than ten minutes or half an hour a day and a few minutes a day can stick to it.
Some professional emotional release exercises that integrate body and mind are more conducive to emotional flow and cleansing without causing physical pain. For example: meditation, deep breathing, yoga, etc. I won’t introduce them one by one here.
Finally, I wish all people can gain long-lasting happiness~
