This is a conversation that took place in the psychological consultation room:
Visitor: "My boss is already married. I know it's impossible, but I can't live without him."
Counselor: "You may be able to learn from him Gain a sense of strength, right?”
Visitor: “Yes, I feel less empty and braver when I’m around him.”
Consultant: “This is very similar to what you have been looking for since your father left.”
Visitor: "Yes, since my dad left, no one has given me this kind of power."
What the counselor revealed to the client is exactly the "idealized empathy" in self psychology. Consultation The teacher used empathy method to tell the visitor what she had always wanted to express in her heart.
There are classic psychoanalysis , why is self psychology also proposed?
Because of "empathy".
Kohut, the founder of self psychology , once came into contact with a clinical case. Whenever he used classic psychoanalytic theories (such as the Oedipus complex) to explain to the client, the client would feel disgusted and resisted. .
Kohut felt that therapy had reached an impasse. Later he decided to put aside all theories, listen to what the client really wanted to express , clarify the pain the client said, and say what he had always wanted to express. Finally, the client's attitude changed, and the treatment work also improved. become smooth.
He began to think that he should not rush to label the visitor with theories. If the initial understanding was wrong, then he should change his understanding to another way instead of first labeling the patient with something like Oedipus conflict.
is different from Carl Rogers 's "empathic response". Empathy in self psychology refers to the counselor's understanding of the client's subjective world, and based on this understanding, he expresses what the client wants to say in his heart. Words that were never spoken gave the visitor a feeling of "resonance".
This kind of resonance can ultimately make visitors feel understood and resonated. And this is "empathy" from the perspective of self-psychology. What exactly is
self?
self, in fact, there is no suitable Chinese word that can perfectly explain it, but it can be understood as a combination of a person's physical and psychological characteristics.
Teacher Xu Jun once said that we can vividly describe the word self. When we stand on a 1-meter-high table, we may feel more at ease, but when we stand on a table next to a 10-meter-high table, we will feel that the self is about to collapse. , the fear has risen. The example of can help us understand the meaning of self very well.
Everyone has the need to develop himself so that he can have a stable personality in life.
Kohut proposed that in order to achieve the goal of self-stability, people have had three needs since infancy, including exaggerated self, idealized self, and twin self. Let me explain it to you one by one:
01 The first pole: exaggerating the self
It refers to the need for children to satisfy their own sense of competence and control in the process of establishing a stable self. For example, some children suddenly start to like tearing paper. By expressing oneself and getting approval from parents and others, this is a manifestation of the "grandiose self."
Children need parents to respond to their children's grandiose self. Children who receive sufficient responses can have ideals, ambitions, and believe that they can achieve them.
02 The second pole: Idealized self
Idealized self refers to the child's being with a powerful person. When the child sees that this person has power, he suddenly feels that he has power too.
This powerful person usually starts from his parents. The strong image of parents can give children a sense of security and self-confidence, making them feel that they can be protected and will not be hurt.
03 The third pole: twin self
twin self need refers to the child doing the same thing with the person he likes, or finding resonance in similar people . This need manifests later in life than the first two poles. , but it is also an essential link in stable self-development.
The key to self-psychological treatment
The key to treatment is transference assessment to find the client's frustrated self-object experience.
The next step is related to the three poles of the self mentioned above. When talking to the client, the counselor uses the client's empathy to determine which pole of the self needs the client is missing.
On this basis, the counselor helps the client find the self that failed to develop and reshape this experience, so that the client can re-develop this extreme self and ultimately form a healthy personality.
In addition, in the self-psychology course, teacher Xu Jun will also explain to you in detail the complete theory and application of self-psychology , such as:
. Symptoms of failure in self-development and signs of successful development . We As a counselor, how to identify various forms of client's transference. How to help clients reshape their self-object experience and ultimately form a healthy selfFrom theory to application, you will learn about self psychology, this Psychoanalysis with a humanistic color is a practical methodology on how to significantly reduce client dropout and make it easier for clients to make changes.
If you want to study self-psychology systematically, you must not avoid one person: Teacher Xu Jun, one of the representatives of domestic self-psychology.
Simple Psychology and Mr. Xu Jun jointly developed this course "Xu Jun's 55 Lectures on Autopsychology". This may be the most professional, systematic, practical and reliable course on the market. courses.
is different from the common classic self-psychology courses. In these 55 lectures, teacher Xu Jun, as one of the representatives of domestic self-psychology, will combine more with modern self-psychology and focus on cutting-edge interpersonal psychoanalysis-related research. Make sure your content is classic and up-to-date!
Through studying this course, you can:
Systematically master the theoretical framework of classic self psychology
Master the learning, working methods and practical skills of introductory self psychology
Keep up with the latest international developments and understand the clinical work of self psychology The most cutting-edge theory and technology
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Why should you sign up for this course
As you can see here, I believe you have a general understanding of the course content, but you must also have a question:
There are so many professional books and free courses online. Why should I spend more than 1,000 yuan to sign up for an online course?
is extremely cost-effective because of its cost-effectiveness.Professional theory + 1v1 homework correction + personal teaching by famous teachers + certificate certification, always responsible for the learning effect!
When you want to quickly master and learn a new knowledge, there is a formula you can refer to: Learning new knowledge = Learning materials + System reflection + Professional feedback
Learning materials: Professional course content created by top teachers in the industry, is all about It is possible for beginners to understand and learn
System reflection: each chapter has a knowledge point + 1 case + 1 practical operation, ensures that each learning unit is solidly advanced
Professional feedback: professional instructor video course + clinical consultant teaching assistant Teaching Q&A, dual-teacher teaching mode, solve problems in time
Simple Psychology Uni is committed to creating a closed loop of learning, and strives for excellence in every link. What you buy is definitely not some course videos, but more importantly:
1. Practical operation Homework + community sharing, learning efficiency increases by 10 times!
2. The teaching assistant teacher provides timely feedback and guidance, so as to prevent you from taking detours!
3. Simple psychology official graduation certification, creating a closed-loop professional training
"Xu Jun's 55 Lectures on Autopsychology"
Xu Jun, one of the representatives of domestic self-psychology, teaches
4 major compulsory modules + 55 professional courses
1v1 homework feedback + Weekly Q&A sharing
Perfect dual-teacher training system
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Simple psychological Uni learning certification
👇 Click, Teacher Xu Jun will introduce you to autopsychology ~
