In the previously staged TV series "Golden Wedding", a couple played by Jiang Wenli and Zhang Guoli had a profound impact on the lives of their four children due to the ups and downs of their marriage. Freud said: A happy person spends his childhood healing his life, but an unfor

's previous TV series " Golden Wedding ", a couple played by Jiang Wenli and Zhang Guoli had a profound impact on the lives of their four children due to the ups and downs of their marriage.

Freud said: A happy person uses his childhood to heal his life, but an unfortunate person spends his whole life to heal his childhood. This shows that the influence of the original family on a child is really great.

Especially for the third daughter Duoduo, who was born at the wrong time. When she was in adolescence, her parents were getting divorced and no one paid attention to her. This led to Duoduo always wanting to gain a sense of presence and presence from other men. The sense of security made me hang out with gangsters many times and lead to unexpected pregnancies and miscarriages. In the end, I almost had my uterus removed and I was unable to have children ever since.

With the broadcast of this drama, everyone is sweating for the four brothers and sisters in the drama. So how can we get rid of the constraints of our original family, live the life we ​​want, and live ourselves?

Read the book "She and Her Islands" by the popular author Yi Nan on Douban , which specifically describes a real-life family story about the emotional entanglement between three generations of women. To stand up for your children in everything is out of love; to control your children in everything is out of love; to submit to your parents in everything is also out of love. Their starting points are all good, but the love they express is from their own point of view, and they never know what the other person needs.

1. Standing up for your children in everything is for "love"

For a mother, all she can do is try her best to make her children live a better life.

The heroine's mother was abandoned by her family due to lameness when she was a child. It was the heroine's grandmother who took her home and raised her. The heroine's grandmother was worried that she would be wronged, so she tried every means to hope that she would have a better life. So I found an honest husband for the heroine's mother, and at the same time prepared a wedding room for her that was close to home, thinking that by making decisions for her in this way, I could live a good life.

However, in fact, the heroine’s mother is not happy at all, and she doesn’t even know how much money is on her salary card. When she got her salary card one day with everyone's help, she suddenly felt at ease.

As a parent, I have paid silently from the beginning without knowing what my children need. However, when you constantly get along with your children, let go of yourself and free yourself, then your children will let go and free themselves, and then they will live a life of their own.

2. Controlling your children in everything is for "love"

For a mother, what she can do is to ensure that her children do not lose at the starting line and give them a bright future.

The mother of the heroine felt that her life was a failure and she had never gone to college, so she placed all her hopes on her children. Ever since she was little, whatever she wanted would be rejected by her mother. Once, she wanted a computer to study, but her mother thought she wanted it to play games, so she refused as a matter of course.

No matter what she wants to do, her mother always says that she is still young, so she does not need to buy new clothes. She is still young, so she can not have her own secrets. She is still young, so her mother can help her sign up for volunteering. It gave her the illusion that she might never grow up in her lifetime.

The heroine said that after living for so many years, she has never been doing what she likes for a moment. She will always live in the habits that others have developed for her. Stripped of those habits, she became a parasite unable to walk upright, and she didn't know if she could survive.

As a parent, my life is unsatisfactory. I place all my hopes on my children, hoping that my children can be different from me. I didn't expect that it will be counterproductive, making my children suffocated and myself failing more and more. Therefore, it is important to hope that children will not lose at the starting line. What is more important is to reconcile with themselves and live their own lives. Only then will children have the courage to pursue their own future.

3. Submitting to parents in everything is for "love"

For a child, the most important thing is not study, but the relationship with his mother.

As a child, the heroine grew up with her mother scolding her every day. On the one hand, she deeply reflected on whether she had not done well enough to deserve the lack of recognition and understanding. On the other hand, she resented her mother for not being able to let go of her children when it was time for them to be like other mothers.

finally broke out in a vicious exchange of words. She told her mother that she was a tool that conformed to her mother's wishes. It is a tool that will not fight back despite being beaten and scolded, and can also satisfy the vanity of a loving mother and a filial son. At that time, my mother was trembling and speechless. The mother, who was living in dire straits, could no longer bear the weight of life and chose to end her life.

Maybe her life was not meant to be cut off, and something unexpected happened, preventing her mother from dying. When she knew all this, she was extremely scared. She said to her mother, I can't live without my mother. Why are you so cruel and want to leave her without even saying a word? She has no future, but she also wants to save more money so that she can enjoy happiness when her mother gets old, right? She never thought of escaping from this home. There was a mother and a grandma in this home, and she felt that she was not an island.

As a child, they love their parents more than they imagined. Obedience when they were young and understanding and encouragement when they grow up allow parents to learn from their children to reconcile with themselves. Finally you can find yourself.

There are no parents in the world who don’t love their children. It’s just that parents are first-time parents and they don’t know what is best for their children. Therefore, we often use the wrong direction and make our children farther and farther away from us. There is no child who does not love his parents. They are also children for the first time and do not know how to deal with the relationship with their parents.

A true warm family is never one person, but the understanding and tolerance between everyone. They still help each other through ups and downs, and strive to live out their own lives.