I stayed at home on the weekend night and watched Yang Caini's first big-screen work " Christmas Rose ", and I was particularly impressed by one scene in it.
At the court hearing of the sexual assault case, Xue Zhaowen (played by Xia Yu), the defendant's lawyer, asked the defendant's wife Ming Jun (Qin Hailu): "Mrs. Zhou, what kind of person does Mr. Zhou look like in your mind? ?" Ming Jun replied without any hesitation: "He is a good person, 100% good person. He is very responsible at work, he is also very caring about his family, and he knows how to cherish my daughter and me." When the
movie was put here, I still There is no way to tell whether Zhou Wenxuan (played by Zhang Zhen) is innocent, but in his heart he prefers the disabled female piano teacher Li Jing (played by Gui Lunmei ) to be the victim.
I am thinking, why do I think Li Jing is the victim? Do you feel sympathy for her because she has a disability? To be honest, I am not the kind of person who is overflowing with love. Because in sexual assault cases, is the woman always the victim’s habitual thinking? It seems like this doesn't fully convince me. Lying in bed after
, I kept struggling with this question. It wasn't until I settled on "a good person" and "a 100% good person" that the answer finally became clear to me why I was leaning towards Li Jing. I have always been very wary of "good people", especially "100% good people", which makes me think it is a very scary thing.
Ming Jun, who firmly said that his husband is a "100% good person", is actually wavering, right? She is also struggling whether to believe what she has been feeling or the dialogue and evidence in the court.
When we say "good guys" and "bad guys", what do we really want to say?
How to distinguish the so-called good people from the bad people? What are the scales and standards? When we evaluate whether a person is good or bad, is it more appropriate to evaluate based on what he did within a period or stage, or based on the entire life? Probably no one would suddenly ask themselves, am I a good person or a bad person, and I am the same, because I don’t know how to answer it appropriately.
asked his friend L jokingly, do you think you are a good person or a bad person? He said that when he was a child, he stole money from his parents, ran through red lights, littered, vandalized public property, and got into fights; he also caught thieves, worked as a volunteer, and donated money - he didn't know whether he was considered a good person or not. Where are the bad guys?
As we grow older, we will find that there is really no way to evaluate a person with such simple words as "good person" and "bad person".
I try to think about it, when we say "good people" and "bad people", what do we really want to say? When we start asking ourselves whether we are "good people" or "bad people", what do we really want to do? I can only convince myself by looking for answers from myself.
Am I a bad kid? Compared with stealing money, what I am more afraid of is the way others look at me and the words they use to evaluate me!
When I was in elementary school, I stole two hundred yuan from my grandma. There was no doubt that this was a huge sum of money. At that time, two yuan was enough for us to spend for several days. When my father found out, he whipped me with a thin wire, causing blood blisters on my hands. I didn't cry at that time, not because I was strong, but because I felt that I had done nothing wrong. Even now that I think about it, I feel so stubborn. Jin still makes me feel like I did nothing wrong.
From that time on, I was regarded as a "bad kid". When my parents communicated with others normally, I would have random thoughts and fall into fear. I was afraid that they would tell others about this, and I was afraid that more people would accuse me of being a "bad kid", ridicule me, and slander me. Compared with stealing money, what I am more afraid of is the way others look at me and the words they use to evaluate me.
When my grandma passed away, my family discovered that the few thousand yuan she had saved in her "small treasury" was no longer there. I knew that in her later years, her uncles had defrauded her of almost all of her money, and she had no money at all.
As if I had finally been redressed after years of grievances, I cried happily in front of my grandma’s grave. I thought at least my grandma had used it at least two hundred yuan, instead of saving it all her life and never wanting to use it until her death.
At least I once stole two hundred yuan from my grandma. I went to the supermarket every day after school and bought a lot of delicious food, and took it back to eat with my grandma and sister. My favorite thing is to buy the mung bean cake that my grandma likes. We had a lot of fun eating it then.
Although my grandma tried her best to protect me when I was beaten for stealing money, I still hated her at that time. Does grandma think that as a child, I can earn my own money to buy food for her? Why did she never ask me where the money came from while we were eating? If I am the "bad kid", what about the adults?
Am I a bad boy? We must accept our fate. There are always some people and things in this life that we can only look up to but cannot surpass!
For a long time, I said to my mother, "You are so vain." I didn't know how much this sentence would hurt her, and I didn't care, until one day when I was at home on vacation in May, I faced some arguments. , my mother said I was extremely hypocritical. One month after
, I would think of "hypocrisy" at any time, which made me doubt myself. Am I really hypocritical? That was what my biological mother said. She probably wasn't just taking revenge on my "vanity".
The constant self-doubt made me feel very uneasy, and I also learned to reflect. What I said to my mother, "You are so vain," must have hurt her a lot. Or, in my mother's eyes, I am a "bad boy", so she uses this stinging word to describe me. Or maybe my mother actually sees that cowardice, always trying to escape, trying to cover up, unwilling to face the true self.
I used many cruel words to hurt my mother. When she gave me love, I said she was short of money; when she gave me money, I said she didn't care about me except money. But to be fair, what else can my mother do to be good to me?
She never blamed me or gave up on me when I got bad grades; when I fell in love early, she would not stop me tyrannically, but let me learn to protect myself, taught me how to be nice to others, and told me to control my emotions. When my father was hospitalized, she took on all the burdens of the family. She didn’t want my sister and me to have any financial pressure. She also comforted us and reduced our mental pressure. When I said I wanted to buy a house, she gave me her family’s savings, no matter what. Others told her not to give her daughter so much money, that she would have to get married sooner or later, and that she should save more money for old age. She encouraged me and supported me in any decision I made.
Thinking about it this way, I have never been a "good boy" in the orthodox sense, more like a misbehaving and willful "bad boy". As a mother with the character of a holy mother, she always makes me see how selfish, narrow-minded and ugly I am. "Vanity" is the only word I can use to slander her.
Many times I think that when I met my mother in this life, it was probably because God wanted to tell me: I have to accept my fate. There are always some people and things in this life that I can only look up to and cannot surpass. And all my previous struggles against my mother were because I was unwilling to admit my incompetence and powerlessness so early.
Am I a bad person? My psychology has become healthier, but the price is that I am no longer a good person in the public opinion!
Last year, when I was reading Wu Zhihong's " Giant Baby Country ", I came across a sentence that said: Mental health requires a price, and a common price is-I am no longer a good person in public opinion.
I have the character of being afraid of trouble. While I don’t want to cause trouble to others, I actually don’t want others to trouble me too much (although I will try my best to help others when they ask for help).
There must be some people who think that I am heartless and cold. Although this cannot be said to be a sign of a "bad guy" (after all, I don't deliberately want to harm anyone), I am definitely not the "good guy" they call me. Frankly speaking, I am not that open-minded and can't care less about other people's evaluation of me. I have also looked for some answers to comfort myself and tell others that I have done nothing wrong.
"The truth about collectivism is that the individual's psychological development level is too low, causing most people to be broken. They must be the same as everyone else and pursue integration with others in a symbiotic way, so as to embed individuals into a group. In the sexual self.” I told myself that this is the kind of character I have, and there is no need to harm myself just to cater to anyone or to fit in with any group, otherwise I would be unhappy.
Didn’t Zhou Guoping say that? Only those who love themselves can love others. Those who give others the joy of life must be those who are filled with the joy of life. A person who does not love himself will neither be a lovable person nor can he truly love others. He goes to others with resentment against himself. Even if he goes to do good deeds, his resentment will still be revealed in every good deed he does.
Also, everyone should be independent. The self in the heart must also understand: some pain of cannot be shared. At most, the care of others can only divert your attention from the pain, but it cannot change the essence of the pain. Even in a shared suffering, each person must bear his own share of the pain alone. This pain is not lessened by having a fellow sufferer.
Although being confused makes people less painful than being sober, I still want to live soberly. It doesn’t matter even if I am misunderstood.
When we ask ourselves whether we are "good people" or "bad people", we are just reflecting on our own lives.
As normal people, how can we face so many big rights and wrongs, and how can we have so many opportunities to face the high test of life? When we think about whether we are "good people" or "bad people," we finally begin to reflect on our own lives and begin to understand our limitations.
One day I saw a sentence in "The Record of Biography", which said: "There is no good and no disgust in the body. There are good and evil actions. Knowing good and evil is conscience, doing good and eliminating evil is observing things." I began to forgive my actions. The "bad boy", "bad boy", and "bad guy" self. It’s considered to be at peace with myself.
