Yi Zhongtian wrote a book called "Chinese Men and Women", this book analyzes why Chinese men and women cheat, why there was a Ji concubine system in ancient times, etc. Wait, it is very interesting, I will share with you below.
1. Why can men have three wives and four concubines, but women can only end in one
In primitive society, the sexual relationship between men and women is quite casual and free. You can have sex with anyone you want. As long as the other party is willing, no social system has restrictions on this.
The randomness here is not promiscuity, but women will choose men.
But once a woman truly falls in love with a man, her psychology changes, she will actively reject other savage people, and her body is only open to the lover. Primitive chastity is women’s free choice and self-protection, but later when men became socially dominant, they regarded women as a kind of resource and their own property.
Men not only have "group marriage tendency" but also "jealousy". They hope that women will remain virgin and have three wives and four concubines. The ancient system of wives and concubines perfectly meets the psychological needs of men. Strong5strong's wife is being married by the Ming media. It is only a formality to marry a man and a woman, and the content of two families being in-laws. It does not matter whether there is love between the couple. So what should men do if they have emotional needs? So the concubine was born.
Second, in ancient Chinese traditional marriages, the love between husband and wife is the least important
In traditional Chinese marriages, love and sex are the least important. As long as you respect each other as guests, you’ll be ready can.
is regarded as a model couple in the Eastern Han Dynasty Liang Hong and Meng Guang,It is said that Meng Guang is ugly and fat, but he has great strength. He has no feminine charm, but the requirements for choosing a spouse are not low. He did not marry until he was in his thirties. When her parents asked her why, she said that she only wanted to marry someone like Liang Hong. Liang Hong heard of this and gave a dowry. After getting married, the two raised their eyebrows and respected each other as guests.
In ancient China, sex was for childbirth, not entertainment, so indifference cannot be a reason for divorce, but it can be praised by the society, female sexual indifference is not sensuality, male sexual incompetence is not lust . These are all respected and praised by the mainstream society, so well-dressed women are more likely to be attacked and jealous by other women.
For example, Mrs. Wang in "A Dream of Red Mansions" is such a person, she is not ugly, but also very smart. But she just married a mediocre and pedantic husband, and no one appreciates her beauty, so she has a deep hatred of girls who are younger and more beautiful than herself, such as Qingwen.
Seriously, there are not many poems about love in ancient China, but only a few are written to my wife . For example, Li Shangyin wrote "the body has no color phoenix flying wings, the heart has a clear understanding", "the spring heart does not share flowers, an inch of lovesickness and an inch of gray" and so on, are not written for his wife. only has one song "Wang Twelve Brothers and Weizhi Foreign Minister, when they visit Zhao Xiaoyin, they mourn the day of death because they are not gone because they are sent" is written by to his wife .
Some other famous articles that show the love between husband and wife are mourning the deceased wife, such as " Jiangchengzi " and "Three Songs of Sorrow". No poems were given to his wife when she was alive,Writing poems to mourn the death after death is also a kind of "Chinese characteristics ". Take a closer look at the poems they wrote, such as "Only the general will keep his eyes open all night, repaying his unfolded eyebrows", "Even if we meet each other, my face is dusty, and my temples are like frost". The former mainly expresses his gratitude and return to his wife, and the latter. It seems to be feeling the ups and downs of the world.
Third, since there is no love between husbands and wives, they have no choice but to empathize with each other.
Traditional Chinese marriages have weak relationships, and men who want to seek true love have to start with Ji concubine.
But the relationship between wives and concubines is unequal. To put it ugly, it is equivalent to a master-servant relationship. You cannot accept a concubine without the permission of your wife. When your wife eats, the concubine should serve by the side; if you give a seat, you can only sit for half a seat. Butt, ready to get up at any time to replenish food, etc.; without the wife’s permission, the concubine is not allowed to go out when the wife scolds her concubine, she must not repay; without the wife’s permission, the concubine cannot accept gifts from others; even when the wife is legally required to accompany her husband Days, even if the wife is not there, the concubine is not qualified to accompany; even the child of the concubine is equivalent to helping the wife to give birth, quite a bit like giving birth to a baby.
In addition to concubines, there are also lower status, such as Tongfang Girl, Ji and so on.
Fourth, a wife is inferior to a concubine, a concubine is inferior to a maid, and a maid is inferior to a prostitute
The status of a maid is lower than that of a concubine.
In ancient times, no formalities were necessary to occupy a maidservant. Even if he gave birth to a child for the Lord, he would not be recognized. For example, in "Span6span Huo Xiaoyu Biography", Huo Xiaoyu was the child of a maid and King Huo. After King Huo died, the brothers did not recognize their mother and daughter at all, and even treated them When he drove out, Huo Xiaoyu not only failed to become a princess, but was also forced to become a prostitute.
Prostitutes in ancient China,Basically, it can be divided into two categories, namely "geisha" and "sexual prostitute". As the name suggests, the former is a performer, such as Mei Sanniang and Su Xiaoxiao in "Liao Zhai". Both color and art. The latter is to make money by selling yourself.
Su Xiaoxiao
Brothels are also divided into superior and inferior. The highest level of brothels is called "brooch". The prostitutes in brothels are usually both color and art. The most important entertainment link is also the main source of income. Guests without artistic interest and artistic accomplishment will not patronize here because it will cost them a lot of wronged money. So there is such a strange phenomenon, many sad love stories happened to prostitutes; mid-range is called "restaurant", usually beautiful girls accompany guests to drink here, there are also secret rooms upstairs. He used; low-end is called "Washe", which is a cheap prostitution run by the government.
Li Shangyin wrote a lot of love poems, among them is "Two Singing Girls". The relationship between literati and prostitutes is a state of sympathy, Ancient prostitutes such as Su Xiaoxiao and Liu Rushi, all are talented, they It is possible that friendship or affection arises from appreciation.
However, his wife is relatively regular and should not show too much talent. is like the eyebrow village in "Zhen Huan Biography". book? Mei Zhuang did not dare to answer truthfully. He only said that after reading "Nu Zhe" and "Nu Xun", he knew a few words. In the ancient times when a woman's ignorance was virtue, a wife who was too talented would overshadow her husband's limelight. Xie Daoyun, Li Qingzhao. So most people don't want their wives to be too talented.
For what Mr. Yi Zhongtian said,I personally agree with part of it. Until now, most men marrying wives are to pass on the family, and there is no element of love or not.
But whether it is in the East or the West, love is not the main content of marriage, because the main component of love is passion, and passion will eventually disappear . So the way to find love outside marriage is to drink poison to quench your thirst, because all the answers should be found in the heart, not outside the heart.
Happiness is in the ordinary. Love always hurts people. Without love, there is no pain. If you live for a long time, it is the most sensible way to avoid the pursuit of happiness, but to avoid pain.
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