1 promises are like farting, which was earth-shaking at the time, but then pale and powerless. Fortunately, I am ugly and have never experienced your love, hate and love.
2 If you say I can’t get married, I don’t care at all. If you want to tell me that I can’t make money, I can’t sleep for a few nights.
3 Usually, I always think, "If the Internet is disconnected, I will definitely spend all my time on learning and my efficiency will double." As a result, the Internet is disconnected today, but I spent all my time on trying hard to repair the Internet...
4 The three-year-old son was watching a science popularization program. As he watched, he suddenly ran to the kitchen crying and said to his mother, "Mom, it turns out that I am a panda!"
Mom heard it and asked inexplicably: " Silly child, what are you talking nonsense? "
's son said with a striking remark: "I said on TV that a shark has 100 teeth, a human has 32 teeth, and a panda has 16 teeth." As he said that, he opened his mouth and pointed to his teeth, "Mom, look, I only have 16 teeth, isn't it a panda?" A young and beautiful female doctor came to the township health center. After school, we naughty guys surrounded us.
A classmate saw some acne-like things on her handsome face and asked with concern, "Doctor, what's wrong with your face?"
"It's nothing, it's just some hemorrhoids." After that, she looked at us with a smile.
The students were shocked when they heard this and thought to themselves that they didn’t hemorrhoids grow on their butts.
"It's acne." Lissy interrupted.
The female doctor suddenly woke up and her face was flushed with shame.
6 One day Cao Cao and Liu Bei drink to discuss heroes. After the two had a few drinks, Liu Bei suddenly farted, which was very embarrassing. When he was in a state of embarrassment, he heard Guan Yu behind him say frankly: "Don't be surprised, the fart comes from the Yu (rain)!"
As soon as Guan Yu finished speaking, Zhao Yun, who was standing beside him, took a step forward and said: "Don't be surprised, the fart comes from the cloud!"
Zhao Yun just finished speaking, and Zhang Fei continued to shout, "When the fart is just ringing, the fart is flying!"
Everyone laughed. Liu Bei has also returned to normal.
Cao Cao did not laugh, he was deeply touched by this matter. After seeing Liu Bei and others off, Cao Cao said to his subordinates, "Liu Bei's subordinates, when they saw a mistake in the lord, they all rushed to take on and make up for it. They are really loyal. If it was your turn to wait, could this be done?" The girl from
7 first met a netizen. She asked straight to the point: "You said you graduated from college, so what major are you?" The boy from
said mysteriously, "It's a major that can make you girls' eyes shine." The girl in
asked excitedly, "Is it a fashion design?" The boy in
shook his head and said, "No." The girl in
thought for a while, and asked again: "Is it medical beauty?" The boy in
held back his smile and said lightly, "No, it's electric welding."
8 An old colleague married his daughter. After the toast, he pulled his son-in-law and said, "I'll hand over my daughter to you. If you treat her badly in the future, I will beat you to death. If you can't beat you, I will hit your father. If you can't beat you, I will hit your mother..."
was in public. The bride behind couldn't stop her
9 The woman asked the man: "I heard that you men have a theory. Women wearing coats have luxurious decorations, women wearing skirts have medium decorations, and women wearing bikini have simple decorations. Which one do you like?"
smiled and said, "Girl, I like unfinished houses."
10 opened a dumpling shop near last month, which tasted good, but the boss's attitude was very bad. As a veteran foodie, I only pay attention to whether it tastes good or not, and I didn't care about these things.
I went to visit again today. The boss lady said with a smile on her face: "I recognized the wrong person before, and thought you were my niece's ex-boyfriend. That kid looked terrible and fickle. You really look like him."
11 The husband and his wife watched TV series together, and the husband said that the heroine in it looked like a husband.
When my wife heard this, she leaned over and asked her husband, "What about me? Is it a natural appearance of a husband?"
His husband glanced at his wife and said, "When I meet you, I can only say that my life is strong."
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