1. When I got sick this time, some people got the fart strain, some got the dry rice strain, and some got the high-end learning strain. I suspected that I had a brain-dead strain, so I took medicine that day. A cup of boiling water in the left hand, the water is very hot, and a tablet of medicine in the right hand. I didn't know why I was in a trance, so I blew on the pills for a minute, and then poured the scalding water down my throat. Hey, no more talking, I have to go to the hospital now.
If you don’t work hard, you won’t even have a chance!
2. Arguing with my girlfriend, cold war . . . When I woke up in the morning, she was no longer in the house, so I didn't pay much attention. I just washed my face and went to the restaurant downstairs to have breakfast. I went to a restaurant and ordered a bowl of noodles. When the noodles were served, I saw my girlfriend and a strange man talking and laughing in a corner. I glanced at it and continued eating as if nothing had happened. Halfway through the meal, my girlfriend walked up to me and said: Aren't you jealous? I was stunned for a moment, "Boss! Add some vinegar to me!"
It's too difficult for me
3. I went to the hospital for a checkup. The doctor took the test sheet and said that you were lucky to have come in time. I breathed a long sigh of relief, and the doctor said slowly: If it is later, there will be no room in the morgue.
Thank you!
4. During the final exam of middle school, a girl sitting in front of me did it very seriously and carefully, and she was willing to copy the questions for me. I was afraid that the teacher would find me cheating, so I deliberately corrected a few multiple-choice questions wrongly. As a result, she was the last in the class, and I was the second from the bottom.
The camel is stuck
5. Xiao Ming has been unable to sleep at night recently, and he lost another two million in business. He racked his brains and couldn't figure out where the problem was, so he went to the doctor in a hurry and found a fortune teller. The next day, Xiao Ming brought the materials and other materials to the ancestral grave and carried out overall repairs. Xiao Ming's father was happy to see his son being so filial and not forgetting his ancestors, so he gave Xiao Ming another five million.
Brother, you are really good at Tetris.
6. Recently, my girlfriend has been gaining weight. I asked her to lose weight. My girlfriend said: I feel like there are four people living in my body and I can’t lose it. Am I stunned? She said: They are Tang Monk, Sun Wukong , Zhu Bajie and Monk Sha . Monk Tang said every day, I want to be a vegetarian. Zhu Bajie said: I want to eat meat. Sun Wukong said: I want to eat fruit. Sha Seng said: Master, Senior Brother and Second Senior Brother are right!
Uncle, there is a reason why you are in a wheelchair.
7. I usually like to go shirtless, so I have a healthy wheat color. I went to my father-in-law's house during the Mid-Autumn Festival. He was building a flower bed. I immediately took off my T-shirt to help build it. When I was sweating profusely, my nephew ran over and yelled at my father-in-law, saying that he wanted to eat roast duck! The father-in-law asked him why he suddenly wanted to eat roast duck? My nephew said I looked a lot like a sizzling roast duck. I was greedy just looking at it.
I seem to be the sickest person around me this time, and I haven’t gotten better yet. I just came back! Thank you all for waiting, please like and follow!
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