1 As soon as I got up in the morning, I felt the urge to take a nap. 2. I thought about the five words "especially able to endure hardship", and I only did the first four.

1 As soon as I got up in the morning, I felt the urge to take a nap.

2 I thought about the five words "especially able to endure hardship", and I only did the first four.

3 I went to the countryside to play, and I saw black oval-shaped things on the ground on the hillside. I thought they were plant fruits, so I picked up a bag with my friends and went back. But my father found out and exclaimed, "Why did you pick up so much sheep shit?"

4 One day, my boyfriend was walking very fast in front, and I shouted from behind: "Brother in front, please give me a piece of change. I want to go home by car." After shouting, an uncle next to me looked at me with a strange look. My boyfriend turned around in a dignified manner, took out two coins, put them in my hand, and said, "I rewarded you." The uncle next to me was completely confused and kept watching me get into the car.

5 A beggar knocked on the car window and said: Give me some money.

The driver looked at it and said: Let me smoke a cigarette for you.

The beggar said: I don’t smoke, give me some money.

The driver said: I have beer in the car, let me give you a drink.

The beggar said: I don’t drink, please give me some money.

The driver said: Well, I'll take you to the mahjong parlor, I'll pay for it, you bet, and the winnings are yours.

The beggar said: I don’t gamble, give me some money.

The driver said: Then you get in the car, I will take you back and let my wife see what a good man who does not smoke, drink, or gamble can do!

6 There was a hypocritical man who caught a turtle and wanted to eat it, but he was too embarrassed to eat it directly because of his face, so he put an iron plate on top of the boiling pot and let the turtle crawl over.

The man said to the turtle: "Life or death is determined by fate. If you can crawl over, your life will not be cut off. If you fall on the way, don't blame this good man for breaking the precept and eating meat."

The little turtle endured the high temperature and climbed over. The man was startled, looked around for a while, reached out to grab the turtle and said: "Little turtle, you are the best, be good, let's do it again!"

The little turtle cursed: "Don't be pretentious, you want to eat steamed food, don't think I don't know!"

7 Lili was a guest at the home of her colleague and his wife. After the meal, she helped clean up, but accidentally broke a delicate plate.

Seeing that Lili was a little embarrassed, the male host quickly comforted her: It doesn't matter, this plate is not valuable.

After hearing this, Lili became even more embarrassed.

The hostess pulled her husband and whispered: This set of tableware was given by Lili when we got married!

8 female: What is your job?

male: Charity industry.

female: Oh my gosh, you philanthropist, you must be very rich! Tell me where you work, so I can talk to you when I have time.

Male: Well, the working location is not very fixed. Sometimes it is on the overpass, sometimes on the road, but I still like to be near the station...

9 Wukong: Master, what are you saying? I see you have been thinking about it for a long time.

Tang Seng: Let me try reciting the Tightening Curse upside down to see if it has any effect.

Wukong: Oh my God, no wonder my feet hurt so much today.

10 We were talking in the dormitory one night, and a buddy said: "I haven't been home for a few days, and I didn't expect that the female dog that went home yesterday gave birth to a litter of puppies."

I asked casually: "How many months does it take for a dog to get pregnant?"

The buddy replied: "Four months."

I calculated: January, December, November, October, and then I thought of visiting his house during the National Day.

then reflexively said: "That means your dog got pregnant after I went to your house."

11 ate lobster and called the waiter: Why does this lobster have no claws? Waiter: Sir, maybe you lost a fight in the fish tank in our hotel and your hand was broken. "Please bring me the winner, thank you!"

12 Xiao Pingzi asked me to accompany her to get a haircut in the evening, and I was confused about which shop to go to. Me: "Just pick one!" She: "No! What if I get a haircut that makes me look ugly?!" Me: "If you look like a bear, do you still want someone to cut you like a panda?!"

Yeah. She chased me for two streets! Teacher

13 visited the student’s home and introduced himself to the student’s father cordially: I am so-and-so’s class teacher. Hello, I am Jin Lian.Dad immediately said: Hello, hello, Teacher Pan, please sit down...