1. Don’t go around shouting that the world has abandoned you. This world does not belong to you in the first place. 3 This year is basically over. I asked many friends if they made any money this year.

1 Don’t go around shouting that the world has abandoned you, this world does not belong to you in the first place.

2 Men are all liars. A lucky woman will be deceived by one man for a lifetime, and an unfortunate woman will be deceived by many men for a while.

3 This year is basically over. I asked many friends if they made any money this year.

Most of my friends earn money, and their incomes are varied: some earn a shit, some earn a hammer, some earn a hair, and some even earn a girl, which is extremely luxurious! The scariest thing is making a fool of yourself!

I met a friend this morning and asked if he had made any money this year. He looked at the sky and murmured to himself: Make a bird! See, as long as you work hard, you can earn anything.

4 In the evening, there was a young couple who obviously happened to be together in my car. They were asking me questions along the way, and the atmosphere was not lively at all. At a red light, I saw in the rearview mirror that the little boy wanted to put his hand on the girl's shoulder several times, but he retracted. When the light turned green, I stepped on the accelerator, and the girl fell into the boy's arms. I can only help you so much.

5A: What is your annual salary?

B: 960,000.

A: That’s 80,000 a month!

B: Yes, this is my basic salary.

A: Not bad, what do you do?

B: Dreamer...

wishes: all your dreams in 2023 will come true!

6 Someone found a job in a dairy farm. On his first day at work, the boss gave him a bucket and a stool and asked him to go to the milk shed to milk cows. He happily accepted the order. When he got off work, the boss saw that milk was splashed all over his body and the stool leg was broken, so he asked him: "How is it? Is this job difficult?"

He replied with a sad face: "It is not difficult to milk the cows, but it is difficult to get the cows to sit on the stool."

7 Old people are also very cute.

Wife: My grandparents had a fight yesterday.

Me: We are both over 80 years old. Don’t we always have a good time? Why?

Wife: When we were playing cards, grandpa figured out that grandma still had a little king in her hand, and even told her about it. Grandma got angry.

Me: Oh, who are you playing cards for?

Wife: Just the two of them

Me: ...

8 Employee A: "Dumb, let's go play ball together after get off work."

Dumb: "What ball?"

Employee A: "Basketball."

Dumb: "I don't like basketball, I'm good at football."

Employee A: "Really, you are good at it. What does it look like? Long pass, short pass, pass? "

Dumb: "Slam dunk.

9 The doctor prescribed some traditional Chinese medicine for a bad stomach. I cooked it in the dormitory today and prepared to drink it. It was very hot. Since I had never drunk it before, in the spirit of drinking good medicine while it is hot and bitter, I drank it one mouthful at a time just like drinking tea. It was so hot and bitter that I burst into tears. My roommate couldn't stand it anymore. "Looking like you are hanging, can't you wait for it to cool down and let it get stuffy?" "Uh... why didn't you tell me earlier?

10 The supermarket was crowded with people, and suddenly a broadcast came out: "Some parent has lost a 4-year-old boy wearing a yellow plaid shirt and blue jeans. Please go to the service desk to claim it immediately. "

I saw a tired woman next to him and then said to the man next to him: "While someone is looking after our children, let's go buy some food. "

11 saw a couple talking "Hubby, I want to go to the toilet"

"Where is the toilet here? I'll give you the whole black plastic bag"

"How can you use it with so many people? "

" puts your head on so that no one can see it! "

12 That day I suddenly asked my girlfriend: Do you think I look good?

She: Do you want to listen to the truth or a lie?

Me: Lie.

Her: A bit ugly!

Me (joyed): Then I Listen to the truth!

She: It's ugly!

Me: ...

13 I didn't dare to say anything, so I just rushed to do this and that. After a long time, I got used to it and became lazy.

was having dinner with her family, and her girlfriend saw that the opportunity was about to ask, "Mom, what do you think of Feifei?"

Her mother suddenly pointed, "This bun is still the same bun, but the skin is getting thicker and thicker..."

14 was naughty when he was in elementary school, and loved to play with classmates. His hand was pricked several times with a pen. More than ten years later, the color of the pricked area is still a light blue-green.

Today, my wife grabbed my hand and rubbed it for a long time. I ignored her. After a while, it became more and more frustrating. I asked her what was wrong?

She said sadly, why are you so young and so moldy...