1 In this ruthless age, if you want others to miss you, the best way is to refuse to pay back the money you owe. 2. My second-rate girlfriend visited my home for the first time yesterday and asked my father’s zodiac sign during dinner. I said, "He is the most stubborn one in the

1 In this ruthless age, if you want others to never forget you, the best way is to not pay back the money you owe.

2 My second-rate girlfriend visited my home for the first time yesterday and asked my father’s zodiac sign during dinner. I said: "He is the most stubborn one in the Chinese zodiac! Guess what?" Without even thinking, my girlfriend replied directly: "Donkey!" Then I saw the old man's face was livid, and everyone else at the table was holding back their internal injuries...

3 was selected as an advanced model by the Insect Kingdom, and the dung beetle was on the list.

Fly A is angry.

Fly B comforted him: "The dung beetle is very capable. He also lives in the dung pile. You see how creative he is. He rolled the dung into balls and became an athlete himself!"

4 had a dinner with his buddy today, and his wife was also here. She is in the same class as us and is a class star.

During the dinner, his wife went to the bathroom, and I asked him the question I had been thinking about for a long time: "How did you catch her in the first place?"

He glanced at me sideways and said lightly: "In high school, as long as anyone got close to her, I would take the initiative to tell the teacher that they were in love. From then on, no one dared to approach her, and she has been with me until now."

Me: "... Why didn't you think of that!"

5 On the way When I met a beautiful woman wearing scantily clad clothes, I couldn't help but touch her butt. She said angrily: "You are crazy!"

I quickly explained: "Sorry girl, this is an occupational disease."

The girl said: "Oh? What is your profession?"

Me: "Rogue."

6 The neighbor's uncle asked me to introduce a girlfriend to his son. I said: Uncle, your son is so handsome, how can he not have a girlfriend. Uncle

: Isn't that because he is stupid? If only this brat had followed me, at least he is not stupid.

After listening to the uncle's words, I thought hotly and said: Uncle, it may not be good if I just follow you. You can practice your words, but it will be difficult to change this appearance.

The uncle's face darkened after hearing this, and he turned around and left...

7 When I went out to walk the dog, I ran into my ex-boyfriend. My golden retriever ran up to him and rubbed against his legs very affectionately!

Ex-boyfriend: "Let's reconcile. You see, your dog still likes me so much!" He was the one who proposed breaking up at first, but now he wants to go back. I said lightly: Dogs like to eat shit.

8 There are only two days left for the test of subject one. I am scratching my head before I finish reading the questions. I really want to bang my head against the wall! The baby looked at me calmly and said, "I told you to study more! If you don't listen, how difficult is it? Look more and memorize more! I play with my phone every day, and I only think about scratching my head during the exam! Is it useful?"

9 Yesterday, I went shopping with my boyfriend. I saw a piece of clothing that I liked very much, so I asked my boyfriend to buy it for me, but he didn't want to buy it for me. I just stood there crying, and everyone looked at me when I cried, but the guy looked at me and said, "Cry, it will make you feel better if you cry."

10 My ex-wife came to visit the child. You said you would leave after watching it, but you didn't leave. She even chatted with my wife and said: Your skin is really good, and you sleep well every day! When my wife was praised like this, she smiled and said: Yes! good!

ex-wife: Alas! I can't do it anymore, when I was with your Xiao Cao. I sleep well every day. Ever since I found this boyfriend, I am young and sleepless every night. Recently, my dark circles have become darker and my skin has become worse. I really miss the life I had with your husband before. Three to five minutes will not delay my rest... …

I put down my phone as soon as I heard this, picked up her bag with one hand, and dragged her out with the other hand: We are going to lock the door, and we won’t let you eat...

11 One day I had a sore throat and went to the hospital to see a doctor. Doctor: "What's wrong with you?"

Me: "It should be tonsil inflammation."

The doctor asked: "You are not a doctor, how do you know that you have tonsil inflammation?"

I answered: "My throat is swollen."

The doctor asked again: "You can't see it, how do you know your throat is swollen?"

I answered: "Because I have had similar symptoms many times before.

The doctor was furious: "Then why did you come to me?" "My classmate

12 was pregnant, but out of caution, I didn't tell my parents until I had done B-ultrasound more than two months ago to confirm that the fetus was developing normally. When I returned to my parents' home, I threw the B-ultrasound to my mother. She picked it up, looked at it, and asked: Is this What? A stone?

13 A child gave me 100 yuan and asked me to be his parent. When I got to his class teacher, I immediately knelt down and said, "Honey, listen to me."...