1 There must be a road before the car reaches the mountain, and I can't stop even if there is a road. 2What should you do if you encounter a snake in the wild? Don't panic, hold up an umbrella with a warm smile, pretend to be Xu Xian 3 to skip class, climb over the wall, and half

1 There must be a road before the car reaches the mountain, and I can't stop even if there is a road.

2What should you do if you encounter a snake in the wild? Don't panic, hold up an umbrella with a warm smile on your face, pretend to be Xu Xian

3 skipping class, climb over the wall, and halfway through the climb, the security guard comes, and immediately pretends to climb inside the school. The security guard angrily asks, "What are you doing!" He replies, "I want to go in to find someone!" The security guard says that outsiders are not allowed to enter! Get out of here...

4 A scammer called me and asked me to guess who he was. Then I randomly named him, and he actually said yes, and then he asked me to borrow money. I said it was the old rule to charge 100 yuan to the phone bill as interest, and then he really charged it...

5 after going to work in the morning.

Dumb: "Boss, I have been working overtime since I got off work yesterday."

Boss: "Thank you for your hard work."

Dumb: "Boss, then... this overtime salary..."

Boss: "Let me verify it first."

A few minutes later.

Boss: "Dumb!! You didn't clock in when you got off work yesterday, and you didn't clock in when you came in today. Two days of salary will be deducted from you."

Dumb: "..."

6 During the New Year's Day holiday, I went to eat hot pot. I saw eye-catching words on the wall of the hot pot restaurant: I raise my own sheep, grow my own vegetables, and squeeze my own oil, reminding customers to eat with confidence. When

paid the bill, I quietly said to the boss: Boss, I paid for this painting myself, please feel free to use it!

The boss chased me for several streets with a knife but failed to catch up. Tsk, it’s really interesting, I grew my own legs...

7 Xiaoli took her boyfriend home, just in time to catch up with her father coming back drunk. I saw my father lying down on the sofa and shouting: "Girl, the TV is stuck again!" Xiaoli walked over and patted the fish tank on the TV, and the fish inside were scurrying around.

Dad said "Thank you", stared at the fish tank for a while, and soon fell asleep.

boyfriend said doubtfully: "You didn't turn on the TV." Xiaoli said: "My dad always watches the underwater world when he is drunk."

8 boyfriend: I can be regarded as a young man who started from the bottom and climbed to the top.

Girlfriend: That’s amazing. What do you do?

Boyfriend: I used to be a shoe polisher, but now I am a barber.

9 On a roadside in a certain city, several beggars were chatting.

"The prices of rice and oil have recently increased, and city people are worried."

"Compared to them, we are better off. Firstly, we don't have to buy rice, secondly, we don't have to buy oil, and we don't have to pay rent..."

At this time, one of them quickly covered the speaker's mouth: "Shh! Keep your voice down, if people hear it, they will all want to be beggars!"

10A peasant woman clamored for her husband to buy her a woolen hat, but the husband insisted on it. I just bought her a straw hat and said confidently: "Buying a straw hat is the most cost-effective. If you think it is outdated and don't want it anymore, you can also use it as fodder for our goats!"

11 At a party, he was deeply attracted by a beautiful woman. After a week of intense pursuit and entanglement, she finally agreed to be my girlfriend.

One day, the two of us were walking on the street and happened to meet my brother. I stepped forward to introduce him. Afterwards, my girlfriend asked me: Is your brother older or you... What an IQ!

decisively decided to break up.

12 A customer went to a store to buy an umbrella, and the clerk said: "Sorry, there are none." After the customer left disappointed, the boss said to the clerk: "You can't say no to the customer, you should recommend other similar products to the customer. For example, you can say: I'm sorry, there are no umbrellas, but we have raincoats here." After a while, a customer came and asked: "Do you have toilet paper here?" The clerk replied: "Sorry, there is no toilet paper, but we have sandpaper here!"

13 Huang Rong: Dad, do you like Brother Jing?

Huang Yaoshi: I like it, I really like it!

Huang Rong: Yeah~~~! What do you like about him?

Huang Yaoshi: I want to register a Disabled Persons' Federation on Peach Blossom Island. Mei Chaofeng is blind, Lu Chengfeng they are lame, and the servants are all deaf-mute. I have been searching for so many years, but all I need is a fool...