Once, a friend happily played with me when he saw me. As soon as he got it, an uncle covered in shit ran out of the toilet and ran three streets after me crying and shouting.

1. What's wrong with children nowadays? I remember when I was a child, I said to my younger brother: Brother, come and see what's on my butt? At this time, my brother would stick it on curiously, and then I fart. Now, the kid, MLGB, just give me a thousand-year-old kill.

2. When we were young, we all liked to play with those little firecrackers. Once, a friend happily played with me when he saw me. As soon as he got it, an uncle covered in shit ran out of the toilet and ran three streets after me crying and shouting.

3. Chenchen, a colleague's daughter, is one and a half years old. One day, a colleague met his aunt, so he quickly called his daughter, "Call my aunt quickly."

Chenchen was very obedient and shouted, "Hello witch (aunt)"

The aunt of the colleague smiled and waved his hands: "If you didn't applaud, why did the aunt become a witch? Do it again"

Chenchen looked at his mother's mouth and called again seriously: "Hello chicken woman"

so scared that the aunt hurriedly shouted, "I would rather be a witch, just call me a witch"

4. My son came back from kindergarten and looked at him listless. My wife asked: Is the teacher masturbating you? The son shook his head. My wife asked again: Did the classmate bully you? The son shook his head again. My wife said with great distress: What are you unhappy? I told you to ask your mother to make the decision for you. My son cried. My father took my New Year's money ...

5. My neighbor has a six-year-old daughter who looks very cute and likes to tease her. He asked him, "Little sister, do you look like a father or a mother?" "I look like a father and a mother in the upper body~" I...

6. When I took my seven-year-old son shopping, he took a fancy to a set of famous brand clothing and insisted on buying it.

I said, "It's too expensive, we can't afford it."

My son pouted: "We have a lot of money on our card, how can we not afford a set of clothes?"

I explained, "That's for buying a house for you to marry a wife."

My son pouted: "You are lying"

I said sincerely: "Son, I really didn't lie to you."

My son retorted with confidence: "Then I ask you, who is my wife? When did she say she wanted a house?"

7 My daughter was two and a half years old. I taught her to brush her teeth, and started with mouthwash, but she couldn't teach her no matter how much she taught. My daughter always swallowed the water in her mouth, and saw that a glass of water was about to disappear, and she wanted to teach her again. . .

My daughter patted her stomach and said to me, "Dad, you can swipe it, I won't swipe it anymore, I'm full."

8. Today I was playing games in an Internet cafe, and a child next to me called me. He said, I was making up for the lesson at the teacher's house, and I shouted: "Network administrator, get a pack of cigarettes."

After a while, my wife called, but who knew where the child was shouting: Boss, check out 308! ! ! Damn it's hard for kids to mess with