1. After my wife passed the New Year, she vowed to lose weight. I ate boiled cabbage for a month in a row for dinner. Not only did I not lose weight, but I also gained two kilograms. I also found it very strange. Until one day when I got off work early, I saw from a distance that these two goods entered a braised meat shop, bought half a duck and a bottle of Coke, went to a nearby park to finish eating, and went home pretending that nothing had happened.
2, 5 yuan a catty, I bought two catties. After the boss finished weighing, he said, "Five yuan, five yuan, give me five yuan." When I go to a fish seller, I put the oranges on his scale to see how many there are. It turned out to be two and a half catties... Hehe, I seem to have earned it.
3. It was cold last night, so I covered two quilts. I slept until the middle of the night and it was hot, so I put my hands outside, reached into the bed in a daze, hugged him, and woke him up! Then he felt hungry and got out of bed and started eating melon seeds, bananas, etc. When I opened my eyes, I saw a naked man squatting beside the bed eating in the middle of the night. Ask him why he doesn't go to bed, the answer is to cool himself revenge me. How heavy is this man's revenge, he did not hesitate to kill himself.
4, very lucky brother-in-law quickly found a girlfriend. The brother-in-law of and is finally getting married, and no one wants to be the best man of , so let me be the elder brother. A fleet of 18 Rolls-Royce pickups came to the woman's door. I suddenly saw my brother-in-law trembling all over, and hurriedly comforted him: "Don't be nervous, relax." He sighed and didn't speak, and walked into the woman's house tremblingly. When I came out, I saw that he was carrying almost 300 pounds of bride . Thinking of the two-mile mountain road where the car can't get in, I'm also nervous!
5. Wife: "Husband, what should I do? I can't open the pot at home."me? I have more than 000 yuan per month at the construction site, and I have given you all the money. How can I run out of money? "Wife: "What, I bought a new pressure cooker , the lid is stuck and can't be opened. "I: . . .
6. My mother parked her car on the side of the road when she was shopping for groceries, and was photographed by the patrol car . The reason was "not parking according to the regulations" and a fine of 200. So when I got home, my mother started He said, "Eat less at night, the food you bought today is expensive! "
#funny#
