1. Xiaohong said to her friend: "I received a very powerful business card yesterday, which was convincing." As she said that, she took out the business card and handed it to her friend. I saw that it said "Lock unlocking expert" and also included a phone number. My friend was sur

1. Xiaohong said to her friend: "I received a very powerful business card yesterday, which was convincing." As she said that, she took out the business card and handed it to her friend. I saw that it said "Lock unlocking expert" and also included a phone number.

My friend was surprised and asked, "What's so good about this? Isn't it a very ordinary little advertisement?"

Xiaohong sighed and said, "I went home yesterday to open the security door and found it was inserted into the light switch in front of my house."

2. There was a hypocritical man who caught a turtle and wanted to eat it, but for the sake of face, so he was embarrassed to just turn on the meat, so he put an iron plate on the boiled pot and let the turtle crawl over.

This man said to the turtle: "It is life or death, everything is determined. If you can climb over, then your life should not be lost. If you fall down on the way, don't blame me for breaking the precepts and opening up meat."

The little turtle endured the high temperature and crawled over. The man was shocked, looked around for a while, reached out and grabbed the turtle and said, "Little turtle, you are the best, be good, let's do it again!"

The little turtle cursed, "Don't pretend, you want to eat steamed ones, don't think I don't know!"

3. Teacher: Xiao Ming, your deskmate Lili will sleep in class in the future.

Xiao Ming: Oh, I understand.

Just as class started the next day, Xiao Ming said to Lili: Lili, it’s time for you to go to bed! The teacher is afraid that you will forget to ask me to remind you.

4.A: What is your annual salary?

B: 960,000.

A: That month, 80,000!

B: Yes, this is my basic salary.

A: Not bad, what are you doing?

B: Dreaming...

5. Tell my daughter the story of " wolf is here ". At the end, I asked: What is the truth about this story telling us?

Daughter: Mom, mutton must be delicious...

6. An old man went to see a doctor, and the doctor prescribed a medicine for him and said to him: "The medicine is effective for twelve hours."

The old man nodded and left with a smile. The old man smiled while walking, and he kept laughing when he got home.

The family asked strangely, "What's wrong with you?"

The old man said, "I'll go, what medicine is this doctor prescribed? I'll laugh for twelve hours, I'm almost exhausted."

7.Biology class The teacher asked: After the wolf and the dog mate was called wolfdog , where is the tiger and the lion?

Xiao Ming answered again: Called Lao Shi.

Teacher: Get out of here, don’t come tomorrow!

8. The wife asked her husband in a coquettish way, "Do you like my tenderness or are you obsessed with my sexy figure?"

The husband was embarrassed for a while and replied, "I like your sense of humor!!"

9. Summer is here, and the female caterpillar is in love. She is afraid that the male caterpillar will hate her body hair, so she plucked her hair. After plucking it, it was intoxicated when it looked at its smooth skin. She hurriedly climbed onto the tree to find the male caterpillar to show off. Unexpectedly, the male caterpillar kicked it off the tree: "Die earthworm, I still want to seduce me?!"

10. The son returned home tremblingly: "Dad, I only got 60 points in the exam today."

Dad was very angry: "I will get a bad exam next time, don't call me dad!"

The next day, my son came back with the test paper: "I'm sorry, brother!"

11. I picked up a mobile phone today and wanted to give it back to the owner, so I found a number in his mobile phone and called it (it was the owner's sister). After the other party answered, he said: Brother, what's the matter?

I said: Are you the sister of this mobile phone owner? I picked up your brother’s cell phone!

After hearing this, she said: Oh, wait a moment.

and then hung up the phone.

after about one minute.

The phone rang. As soon as I answered, I heard the woman just said: Brother, your phone number has been found!

12. As soon as it was lunch break, Lao Wang sat in front of the computer to play online games.

Colleague couldn't help asking, "Brother Wang, these are all games played by children. Your son is in high school, why are you still so obsessed?"

Lao Wang pointed to the gold coins he received in the game and said, "Look at how much money is, several million yuan! This feeling of making a lot of money without having to hand it over to his wife, how cool..."