text/HuaShe
-
-
"77 Psychological Laws I Want to Read No matter how busy you are", there is such a story.
Xiao Zhou works in a motorcycle company, has good work ability and always has the top sales performance, but not only does he not get promoted, he is also scolded by his leaders.
Why are you scolded for your outstanding performance, good abilities?
It turns out that he likes to overestimate his strength when planning at the beginning of the month and promise his leaders too much.
and even in the end, although his performance was excellent, it was still far from his promise to his leader, so he would always be criticized for not completing the plan.
Everyone has a scale in their heart, but the weight is in change for a long time, and what determines the quality of the weight is often the amount of "promises".
Because of commitment, it will increase the psychological expectations of others, which will easily reduce your value in the eyes of others because of failure to fulfill the promise.
Song Dynasty Yu Jing once said: "I promise not to make lightly, so I will not let others down; I will not let others down if I promise not to make lightly, and my friends will not let me down."
promises to others, which can bring in the relationship between each other, and it is also easy to create more problems in the later stage, so those masters who truly understand human nature never make easy promises.
's promise cannot be fulfilled will only cause trouble
Two days ago, when talking about work, he said, "I met a good project, it's a pity..."
asked the follow-up question and found out that the person who initiated this project was Xiao Xu, a student who once participated in a training class with us. At that time, everyone had a bad impression of Xiao Xu.
Do you want to say that Xiao Xu did something excessive?
actually doesn't have it either. It's just an appointment to travel together and let people go on that day; it's an appointment to have dinner at several o'clock, and it's always nearly an hour late; it's a matter of what to do together, and it's always a moment to say that he's having an accident. Everyone doesn’t like people like
because no one wants to contact the same person who will disrupt their lives.
At the end of the chat, an old friend sighed: "The project is pretty good, but unfortunately people can't trust it."
Indeed, most people who are passionate when they make promises and patted their chests to ensure that they are surprised and ruling when they really need to practice are not trustworthy.
seems that those things are just small things, but often what really consumes other people's trust is not big things, but small things.
After all, there are not many big things in life. Life is composed of small things. People cannot handle small things well, and big things also make people feel untrustworthy.
" Xiaochuan Youji " writes: "Don't make promises lightly, do not take advantage of the speed and do things too much, and do not end up with tiredness."
people should always think about their promises when they say them.
likes to make promises. When the atmosphere comes, there are many people who use promises to set off the atmosphere. It seems that they are good at human nature and are good at shaping their images with promises.
In fact, the more promises that cannot be fulfilled, the less trustworthy you will be in the eyes of others. In the end, the promises you say will only make people treat them as jokes.
So, as long as you ensure that you can do it, can you make a promise?
is not possible either.
promises that it will become a shackle
1966, American psychologists conducted an experiment, and the experimental process was very simple.
Experimental personnel randomly visited several groups of families and asked them to hang a small sign on the window. Many families agreed and then asked them to change to a larger sign, but most families still agreed.
At the same time, some other experimental personnel also found several groups of families and asked them to directly hang larger signs, but many families clearly refused.
This experiment proves that when people promise something, they often agree to greater requirements in order to avoid cognitive inconsistency. This is the " threshold effect ".
Because when you make a promise, you will fulfill other promises in order to prove that you are a keeper of your promise, even if the other promises are too troublesome.
, and the promise will become your own shackles until the end.
After all, people's hearts are not satisfied.
Every time I agree to other people’s requests, promise others something, and when I can do it, the result that people cannot satisfy is that the other party makes more and more demands and promises that they need to fulfill. Once
does not accept those requirements, it seems that he will become a person with different opinions. Such a situation will lead to his "promise" hostage, even if he has already made a lot of money.
The author of the book "Influence" also believes that once people make a promise, they will be under double pressure. On the one hand, they make a promise themselves, and on the other hand, they come from others' demands to fulfill their promises.
No matter which one it is, the more promises you have, the more tired you will be.
Since it is not a good thing whether the promise is said or not, can’t you make a promise to others?
Think about it carefully, it is not actually true.
The world is not black or white. There is no standard answer to whether to make promises to others. What is certain is that as long as you don’t make promises easily, you can protect yourself.
, especially some promises that you cannot fulfill and do not want to fulfill. Learning to refuse is more important than giving a promise.
Because for adults, everyone has their own life and the right to refuse to promise. What’s more important is that doing things that can be done directly is better than giving promises, and it can avoid accidents more easily.
The world of adults should also learn to protect yourself while satisfying others.
—END—
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-