I’m Sizhu, an emotional expert around you, click on the top to add attention.
1.88 million dowry is on fire. The woman herself is also excellent in character, both in personal networking and earning ability.
I found a doctoral student I admired with a bachelor's degree, but was asked to be rude by the other's parents but had to add a dowry of 1.88 million. Regarding the marriage of the other's parents, the woman chose to break up.
It turns out that there are really two people separated by the dowry and the bride price.
01
Since ancient times, China has had parents’ order of matchmaking. For marriage, it is more strict three books and six rituals .
The three books are appointment letter, gift letter and welcoming letter.
The letter of appointment refers to the book of appointment, which is used when and Najib . The appointment letter represents the formal marriage contract between the man and the woman.
The gift book is a list of items for the betrothal gift, which is used when recruiting. The gift book clearly states the name and quantity of the items in the betrothal gift.
The greeting book is a book to marry the bride. It is used when welcoming the bride. On the day of the welcoming, the bridegroom must pass the greeting book to the bride.
Six ceremonies That is to accept, ask for the name, Najib, Najib, Najib, please meet with you.
Nacai: When the children get married, the male parent asks the matchmaker to propose marriage to the chosen female. When the male family is in Nacai, it is necessary to give about thirty kinds of auspicious gifts to the female family; the female family also asks the matchmaker about the situation of the male family at this time.
Questioning name: man's line natale After the ceremony, ask a matchmaker to ask the woman's name, date of birth, and time, so that the man can ask whether to marry or not, and what is good or bad. The woman Geng Tie and the man’s birthday were divination, and the Najib ceremony can be performed after the marriage is confirmed.
Najib: (also known as Guo Wending): After receiving the Geng Tie, the Geng Tie will be placed in front of the gods or ancestors to ask for good or bad luck, so as to confirm that there is no conflict between the two sides. After learning that there is no sign of conflict between the two parties, the marriage has been preliminarily agreed.
Admission : (also known as the gift): That is, the male family sends the offer letter and gift letter to the female family. One month to two weeks before the big wedding, the man’s family will invite two or four female relatives (who must be full-fledged people) to make appointments with the matchmaker, and bring the bride price, gift money and dowry gift to the woman’s home; at this time, the female family needs to return .
request period : (also known as the day of begging): the male family chooses a good day for marriage and asks for the consent of the female family.
Welcome: (or welcome): On the auspicious day of the wedding, the bridegroom in a formal dress will go to the woman's house with the matchmaker, relatives and friends to marry the bride. Before arriving at the woman's house, the bridegroom must go to the ancestral temple of the woman's house to pay a courtesy ceremony, and then use the sedan chair to receive the bride from the man's house. After the man’s house completed the rituals of worshipping heaven, earth, and ancestors, he was sent to the bridal chamber.
Nowadays, Sanli is different from township, and Baili is different. Modern marriages are also simplified. Even so, the bride price has been there since ancient times, and the dowry is also a thing of the daughter's family. But it was interpreted as a high barrier to the smooth marriage of two people.
02
Have you personally experienced the modern and complete three books and six rituals?
Nowadays, the matchmaker will consider the strength of the family and the requirements of both parties, and the single men and women of Zhang Luo from ten miles and eight villages, driven by interests, will be described as a marriage. Acquiring 6,000 yuan has produced many fast-food-like marriages.
A Shuo and Xiao Xue were introduced by a matchmaker and chose to meet in one place. If you feel good about each other, you leave messages with each other so you can get in touch. The parents of both parties asked their representatives to inquire about the character and family background of the future son-in-law and daughter-in-law. Although inquiring, no one really understands.
In today's society, when there are fewer daughters and more bachelors, Ashuo's parents urged that the matchmaker wanted to get the matchmaker red. Under this situation, Ashuo and Xiaoxue, who had known each other for less than a month, set up 6 tables in the hotel under the witness of their relatives and friends, and got engaged. The engagement was given to 50,000, and Xiaoxue bought her favorite jewelry and clothes.
After getting engaged, Xiaoxue was often taken to her future mother-in-law's house for dinner by Ashuo, and she was familiar with her future home. On the occasion of the festival, the mother-in-law would also give Xiaoxue red envelopes. Two people who were not familiar with them used red envelopes to express their preferences. It seemed that there was nothing wrong with it.
Two months passed in a blink of an eye, and Ashuo's family found a middleman to come to Xiaoxue's parents' house to propose marriage. The two children knew each other for a short time. If we decided to get married in the West, we would also have a hope for our grandson.
Xiaoxue's parents thought, they are not willing to marry their children anymore. Sooner or later. Besides, Ashuo is also pretty good. So after discussing with Xiaoxue, the wedding date was set in the third month of the two people’s acquaintance.
Upon hearing Xiaoxue's parents let go, the Ashuo family sent someone to wrap Ashuo's birth date horoscope in red paper to Xiaoxue's home. According to local customs, girls have a marriage ceremony because of their zodiac signs. Xiaoxue's parents asked someone to determine a few good times for her birthday, and gave them to Ashuo's family to determine the day when both parties had plenty of time.
The date is set, and the dowry is 150,000. A Shuo's parents brought the cash and handed it to Xiaoxue's parents. The rest is for Xiaoxue to buy furniture according to the style of the new house, even as part of the dowry. Taking wedding photos, buying clothes, Xiaoxue prepares a series of appliances and dowry before getting married.
Everything is ready, just wait for Ashuo to come to get married. Three days before the wedding, Ashuo's family arranged for someone to come and pull some of the household appliances that Xiaoxue bought, commonly known as the pull guy. The middleman took the line and put down half of the raw pork, 2 bags of rice, 2 bags of noodles, and 23 big steamed buns representing age.
Symbolically determine the specific time to go out on the wedding day, as well as the wedding change fee. Before leaving, 18,000 yuan was put down.
Three days later, Ashuo and Xiaoxue got married.
After the entire process, except for drinks and banquets, nearly 230,000 sons have married wives.
and this is not the highest specification today.
03
Comparing betrothal gifts and dowry seems to have become a trend, others give high, if your own daughter does not have so many, it seems that there is something wrong with your own daughter, and slowly the sky-high price gift from mother-in-law has become A beam on which lovers can hardly be married, torn apart a pair of lovers after another.
Why did the bride price split the two people?
First of all, the ratio of men to women in China is seriously imbalanced. Without a son, there will be no successors in the family, so there must be a son. At that time, there could only be one family planning family, and the parents who knew the sex of the fetus through various means, even pregnant with a girl, had continuous abortions, and were just a man in one fell swoop, are now in desperation.
If you have a daughter at home, you should take care of her.Pick slowly.
Secondly, both parents hope to choose a virtuous daughter-in-law for their son. Correspondingly, those parents who spend time and energy to cultivate excellent daughters naturally hope that their daughters will not be bullied by their in-laws in the future, and naturally want their in-laws to show their attitude.
The bride price becomes a benchmark for the mother-in-law to measure the family of her mother-in-law. There is also a meaning of spending a lot of energy and money to make the future son-in-law cherish more.
Again, under the pressure of China's high prices, education expenditure and various expenses, without the help of both parents, newly married couples will struggle.
Statistics on various household consumption expenditures on the Internet, a couple in a small county have a monthly income of 10,000, a mortgage of 3,000, daily grocery shopping and food consumption of 2,000, a random amount of money, 200 for water, electricity and gas, 200 for phone calls, and 200 for skin care products. Adding all the costs of changing clothes for the seasons, there are very few households with an annual income of 100,000.
Once pregnant with a baby, the various expenses of the child's initial stage, plus the case where there is only one labor force.
Families who have been worried about firewood, rice, oil and salt cannot escape the embarrassment of poor couples.
So parents who love their children will prepare dowry and wedding gifts for their children.
I have heard a very positive sentence from Sanguan that the bride price and the dowry are two families helping one family together, rather than one family helping the other family to help the poor.
A son with a million dollars, there are many people who are in debt to marry a daughter-in-law. So for demanding parents, two lovers can only worship.
Marriage is the continuation of love, but also the mutual understanding of two families, with the expectations of both parents.
Apart from regretting the marriage blocked by the gift and dowry,We should think more about the hard work of our parents. In the eyes of our parents, we are always children. Parents’ beloved sons have far-reaching plans.
I’m Sizhu, click on the above to follow to share with you the emotional issues around you.
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