said: "Middle-aged people don't have a friend, and they can't rely on anyone."
Actually, this idea is not completely correct. When you are away from home, you have to associate with others. If you treat everyone around you as "enemies", then you will feel uncomfortable.
Depends on parents at home, and friends when going out. There are a few friends who help each other, and they are more confident in doing anything. At least there is a place to discuss. However, in terms of making friends, you need to "be cautious" and don't give your sincerity to the wrong person.
When making friends, if the other person has these four characteristics, they are often unreliable.
01
regard helping others as "saying casually."
Everyone needs to ask for help. When asking for help, he will first find the most trustworthy person, and then find some "unsure" people. Some people at
, no matter who asks him to do something, will "yes" and give others a "very kind, talkative, and kind" feeling. When you wait hard for him to reply to you, you will find that his memory is particularly bad, and you just forget the things you "promise".
On the 26th of last month, I called a friend who worked in the real estate department and asked him about the permit for rural housing. He fully agreed and replied to me the next day. Yesterday, I sent him a WeChat message and he did not reply. Perhaps, he really is "the nobleman forgets more things."
Maybe, there is such a friend by your side, he doesn't use his brain to speak, and he never rejects others.
In fact, a truly reliable friend knows how to reject others. If it is an unreasonable request, he will reject what he cannot do. However, he promised others, "one spit, one nail", he must have faith.
A friend who believes in words is a sincere friend, and a friend who speaks words is unreliable. Although "mouths are unproven", a person's character can be seen with just one mouth.
02
regards getting help as "a matter of course."
Have you ever encountered such a thing: You helped a colleague, but the colleague returned a lot of work to you, so that you don't know whether you should refuse or accept it. If things go on like this, if you have more tasks, you will make mistakes in panic, and there will be more and more overtime.
When interacting with people, we should help each other, but we also need to "exchange courtesy" and learn to be grateful. It will be chilling if a person always helps others without getting a little reward, and the other person is still "smudged and unable to get on the wall".
There is a bachelor in our village who is in his fifties and lives alone in a low adobe house.
has kind cadres to help him, as well as large local growers to help him. But bachelors are unwilling to do anything, and often call well-wishers and ask others to give him money.
Last year, a large planter opened an excavator to help him open a three-acre orchard and also sent peach seedlings. But after a few months, the peach saplings have been placed in the corner, "falling to the ground". The bachelor has never planted peach trees. There are always some people at
who are "lazy and poor." It's useless if you try your best to help him. On the contrary, he feels that you have given him too little money and the help to him is not lasting enough.
Think about it, being friends with such a person is really a waste of time. As the saying goes: "Thirty years Hedong, thirty years Hexi ." For some weak people in society, you only need to be friends with him and help him, and he will become your network when he is promising in the future. But for those who "do not know how to be grateful and lazy to cook", if you can't spend the money, don't give it to him, stay away from him.
03
regards hurting others as "plausible."
Some people use "friendship cards" to do detrimental things.
For example, a person who wants to start a company keeps borrowing money from friends. He also promises a lot of interest or promises to share dividends with others. But after he borrowed a lot of money, he disappeared and became a big liar.
As the saying goes: "You must not have the heart to harm others, and you must be defensive." When getting along with friends, no matter who the other party is, you must take precautions and don't lightly treat others as "100% trustworthy people." zIn this society of 1z
, there are always some people who are good old people first, and then evil people. By gaining the trust of others to accomplish one's own "career", friends become "backups".
interacts with people and finds that some people like "sophistry" in everything, and will find reasons for making mistakes, so he must be an unreliable person. A reliable friend of
, in case of harm to others, will take the initiative to bear the consequences, and will actively recover the loss, rather than "make excuses" for themselves and shirk responsibility.
04
regard eating and drinking as "life ideals".
It’s easiest to meet friends in the dining and drinking games.
Last summer, I participated in a local chamber of commerce activity. During the meal, I not only met a table of friends, but also became friends with many people next to me. Everyone exchanged business cards and chatted in the same group.
However, after a few months, I found that when I opened the stack of business cards, I had no impression of the people in it. If I beg them for something or meet them again, I can call them by name. ? Probably not.
Later, I threw away the stack of business cards. To be honest, at the moment I got the business card, I was a little excited, because they all have titles such as "General Manager, Chairman, and Founder" and have a lot of background.
Where to eat, drink and drink, I meet friends, most of whom are "friends and a glass of wine". It is difficult to become long-term friends. Moreover, the words after drinking are hypocritical, unreliable and unreliable.
Smart people have moved away from the circle of eating and drinking, and often go home to eat.
As the saying goes: “It’s easier to walk if you have more friends.” This is true, but people with the above four characteristics are not friends, or even acquaintances.
Be a person, learn to rely on yourself, and then rely on friends. If you don't meet a true friend, I'd rather be alone.
Author: commoner coarse food.
pay attention to my words and walk into your heart.
The source network of the pictures in the article.
