is a very challenging problem, which needs to be measured and tested step by step with the mind. In life, some people are like a duck to water in social interaction, and they can not only protect themselves, but also always get unanimous praise from everyone.
However, there are still some people who either offended this one today or that one yesterday. Not only are they full of resentment, but they are always belittled by others.
People who are not good at socializing often have hardships, a lot of dirty work, and good things are not their turn. In important occasions, they are just a transparent person who has no sense of existence.
So how to tear off the "not social" label and become a person that everyone can see. Many people refer to this phenomenon as not being able to speak, thinking that as long as you learn to speak, you will be able to handle social interactions.
It is not difficult to find that those who are good at socializing have one thing in common: in addition to being able to speak, can also read other people's minds, and people can always clearly know what others and themselves want and be afraid of. so they can gain the trust of others and master the lifeblood of others.
When it comes to the art of knowing people, we have to mention Guiguzi, a great strategist and strategist in the history of our country. Guiguzi is good at understanding people's hearts and can easily find the opponent's weaknesses. Today, let's follow Guiguzi's ideas and see how he sets up a situation in people's hearts.
Don't easily believe what you hear about
Some people in life are always inconsistent with their words and deeds. They say things in a big way, but they are a set of small actions in secret. Therefore, when we communicate with people, we cannot easily believe what others say.
To know what a person is willing to say, it is only what he wants you to believe. We have no way of knowing whether those things are true or not; and those things that are not said are the real intentions in his heart. The most secret and true.
For this kind of person, don't usually trust him. It's better to let him reveal his true words on specific occasions. For example, some people usually do not speak a word, but when they are drunk, they will dig their hearts out to others.
Or we can observe his behavior. The ancients said , "It is better to listen to his words than to observe his actions". There is such a sentence in "Walking in the White Night", "There are two things in this world of that cannot be looked at directly. One is the sun and the other is the human heart."
Thinking from the perspective of others
"The world is bustling for profit, and the world is bustling for profit", everyone's painstaking efforts are just a word for "profit". From the point of view of the interests of those who weave the web, it is often easier to sort out the web.
To think from the perspective of others, we first need to place ourselves in the environment of others, and consider what he needs most and what is most unacceptable. Not only that, we also need to find out the thinking habits of others, and use the way others think about problems to think about solutions to problems. This way we can get a general idea of the person's goals.
Once a celebrity posted a job posting in the newspaper, he needed a competent secretary to help him with his day-to-day work.Seeing his job posting, countless cover letters flew to him, and he felt very disappointed. Everyone's letters were the same.
Just when he was about to give up this recruitment, a letter caught his attention, the beginning of the letter was "Dear sir, you may be troubled by countless letters, I am willing to help you sort out, I Fifteen years of secretarial work experience..." When saw this, he knew that the person he was looking for had already appeared. The story of
also tells us that if we learn to empathize, we can easily gain an advantage.
Deduce personality from details
Some people are good at disguising themselves as in language and action, but no matter how disguised they are, when they reveal their secrets, from the details of their lives, you can see how this person's character is.
When Sherlock Holmes was investigating a case, he was always able to analyze a person's character from the details of a person's clothing. A little clue was a road to the truth for him. Those who are good at peeking into the overall situation from the details will surely have unexpected gains.
For example, from the perspective of language expression, those who speak slowly and well-organized are mostly thoughtful; those who are jumpy in their thinking but not losing logic are mostly good at thinking and summarizing, and they may have read a lot of books;
People chat The most frequently talked about must be the things that he is most interested in and concerned about the most. From this aspect, we can see where his interests lie.
Let’s talk about the small details revealed by the eyes. Those who like to look at others secretly are mostly competitive, jealous, and have a certain aggressiveness; It is easy to get along with, has a strong sense of self-protection, and is more cautious.
Getting along with people is a topic that will not decrease in popularity. No matter how the times change, what remains the same is that people are eager to be recognized and respected by others in their communication. While getting to know others, we should always reflect on ourselves to know what we want and whether our trajectory deviates from the original one. Only by knowing ourselves and knowing our enemies can we win a hundred battles in the battle of hearts and minds.
In the communication field, if we want to see through others, we must learn the method of Guiguzi, not easily believe what others say, and we must judge and understand a person by ourselves. Piecing together a complete and real person from the fragmented information, starting from all aspects, even if you can only glimpse the leopard, you can see it. After all, in the contest of people's hearts, many times the competition is who can better understand themselves and their opponents.
