01
Are you still spying on your ex’s circle of friends?
A few days ago, a reader left a message. She said that she had broken up with her ex for three months and still couldn’t let him go. She would often peek at his circle of friends, pay attention to his life, and see him living well, she would I regret not having her by my side, and seeing him have a bad time, I feel distressed again.
Until recently, she saw a group photo of her ex’s circle of friends. In the photo, the ex was taking a selfie with another girl intimately. She looked at her and her nose was sour. She had never had these beautiful things before, and now he Give it to another person, is there anything more hurtful than this?
She didn't dare to read it anymore, so she chose to delete his contact information, so she couldn't find a reason to look through his circle of friends, and she would no longer be unhappy about things like this.
Most people have the experience of this reader. They clearly broke up, and still can’t help but want to know how well the other person is, and to see his current life. Sometimes they know they’re unhappy, but they can’t help it. I clicked on the circle of friends to scan, one by one, and even turned to his circle of friends a long time ago, where they have their past.
But does this make sense?
has no other meaning except to make yourself more sad and unforgettable. Even if you do these things, the other person doesn’t know, even if they know, they won’t care. He is working hard to move forward, and only you stay in place. Recall the goodness of the past.
02
People who peep into the former circle of friends are mostly based on these three ideas:
The first kind: she still remembers this relationship
I think this is the reason why most people are still peeping into the circle of former friends and want to pay attention to his life. But it was because I didn't forget it, but I missed this relationship too much, and I didn't want to let it go.
She might even think, maybe she can turn her head back, or calm down and think differently? But in fact, breaking up means breaking up. There must be irreconcilable reasons why you have come to this point. Don't try to go back to the past, don't try to get him back to you. In many cases, this is just futile.
Even more often, it is that the other party already has an incumbent, and you still remember the past. When you see his good life now, you realize how stupid you are. Obviously the other party has let go, but you are keeping the memories. Refused to let go.
The second kind: she wants to compare with his current post.
The second kind of psychology of most people is "comparison". Everyone has a competitive mentality, especially in the face of a relationship. Why is she? With this kind of psychology, she will always pay attention to his current life, and look at the photos of the two people in his circle of friends, as well as some traces of life, but looking at it, she suddenly feels sad, where there is still thought To "compare"?
Since he already has an incumbent, you don't have to keep entangled in whether the incumbent is better or better than you, and there is no need to make yourself so humble, only to be looked down upon by him.
The third kind: she regarded it as a habit
and another situation is that she has regarded brushing his circle of friends as a habit. Once upon a time, two people would see each other's circle of friends for the first time and give each other some points. Like comments, occasionally arise, and chat in the comment area, in the eyes of others, it is a way of "showing affection." Even if
broke up now, she still habitually found him at the location of the star, and naturally went into his circle of friends to take a look. As for what she wanted to see, she herself didn't know.
Love will become a habit, but at the end of love, the person is no longer there. At this time, there is no need to keep the habit.
03
Some people, just give up; some love, just go away with the wind
girl, I advise you to give up peeking at your ex’s circle of friends!
Not every relationship can go to the end, and not everyone can accompany you to the end. Since the other person gets off the bus halfway, it is better to get together and stay away, and don't let him affect your future life. Since
has chosen to break up, then be more sober, think about why you broke up in the first place, and think about how he hurt you in the first place. Don’t always think about his goodness.Think more about his "bad".
Socrates said: "Go thank the person who abandoned you and wish him happiness, because he gave you a new opportunity to find happiness."
Life is always not complete enough, so is love. Some people can only accompany you. Cheng, but you don't hate him, let alone entanglement, you should thank him for allowing you to grow, and thank him for giving you the opportunity to start again.
Everyone who has experienced a breakup will be very painful.
But more importantly, how do you face the days after the breakup, continue to peek at his life and can't live with yourself? Or is it more chic and brave to move forward?
Love has come to an end, so let each other get together well, don’t mess around, and don’t peep into his circle of friends anymore. You must know that the person who says goodbye to the wrong person can meet the right person and look forward to your happiness. That day!
