01.
There is a need for a safe distance between people. We call this a sense of boundary.
You like moving, I like static. There is no difference between good and bad. Only by respecting each other can you find the right way to get along.
is just that there are always people in life who like to change others, hoping that they will live their own way. If they oppose it, they hurt their self-esteem and conflict.
Among them, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are prone to such conflicts. One tries to use his own experience to transfer ideas, the other wants to live out of self and is unwilling to do it. If the husband is not balanced in the middle, it is easy to make the relationship tense. .
Zhou Lin was caught in such a contradiction. When he first married his wife, he discovered that his wife Geng Yun was not a good talker. On the second day of marriage,
quarreled with her mother-in-law about the bed sheets. Her mother-in-law likes red. Both the curtains and the bed sheets are red. She thinks red is stain-resistant and festive.
Geng Yun doesn't like red. She didn't say that on the first day of marriage, of course, she wanted a festive color. On the second day, she wanted to put on her favorite gray bed sheet, which was elegant and generous.
But the mother-in-law said that this gray was very dull at first sight, and looked lifeless, so she had to ask her daughter-in-law to change the sheets to red. For this matter, the mother-in-law did not eat any food at night. If
is just a difference in aesthetic vision, it is nothing. The key is that the mother-in-law loves to say that the next day, the aunts and aunts in the village know that Geng Yun is not a kind person and does not know how to be modest to the elderly.
For this reason, Geng Yun got angry and went out to rent a house and asked Zhou Lin to move to a rental room with him. Zhou Lin was unwilling to be taken care of by his mother at home. He was used to washing and cooking. He thought it was better to live at home. it is good.
When there is a problem in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the husband’s attitude is very important.
02.
Ever since his wife Geng Yun went out to rent a house, Zhou Lin has become the "sandwich biscuits" at home. On the one hand, his mother's disapproval of his daughter-in-law and his wife's grievance.
His attitude is to be indifferent, neither side can be guilty, and he stays out of the matter.
A year later, Geng Yun became pregnant, and her mother-in-law told her directly. I don’t have time to help you with your children. There is still 2 acres of vegetable land at home. Whoever gives birth will bring the children.
Geng Yun is thin, and the fetus is too large. After a day of pain in the hospital, he did not give birth. The doctor suggested a cesarean section. The mother-in-law stopped and said, "Let’s have it, it’s good for the child." I cried with pain. Maybe Zhou Lin still refused to sign. After the child was born, the mother-in-law saw that it was a girl. She went back to her hometown before it was dark and refused to come over again.
Where can Zhou Lin take care of the children? He is busy cooking, let alone making nutritious meals for his wife.
In order to fight for a breath, Geng Yun did not have confinement, so she washed clothes and cooked by herself. She refused to ask her mother-in-law for help. When the child was full moon, relatives in the family came to congratulate, but the mother-in-law did not come and said Busy, can't go away.
Geng Yun knows that her mother-in-law still feels bad about moving out by herself. No matter how hard her life is, she can survive. She doesn't want to show weakness because of her child.
is like this. She is taking a part-time job while taking care of her children. Finally, her daughter is in kindergarten. Her mother-in-law asked Zhou Lin to tell her that she hoped that she would give birth to a second child. It would be a pity not to have a boy. What age is
, and there is still a patriarchal thought. Geng Yun clearly refused. The mother-in-law saw that she would not give birth, and directly stated: "The old house in the family is given to the second child, and the savings are more than 180,000. Because the second child has a boy."
Zhou Lin had a big quarrel with Geng Yun, saying that it was because she was too strong that she made her mother so partial. Geng Yun didn't care about it. Z1z
16 years have passed in a blink of an eye. The relationship between the mother-in-law and the second daughter-in-law is not good. She often feels dizzy because of high blood pressure.
Geng Yun refused directly and told her husband that you can be filial to your mother whatever you want, but don't let yourself take care of your mother-in-law.
Seeing Geng Yun's attitude, Zhou Lin was very angry: "Your heart is too cruel. My mother is sick. You should quit your job and go home to take care of you. Why don't you care?"
is, why?
The relationship between people is mutual. For ten years to see your mother-in-law and ten years to see your daughter-in-law, you have not paid when your daughter-in-law needs it, and your property is unevenly distributed. How can you ask your daughter-in-law to do it when you need it?Take care of yourself regardless of the predecessors.
03.
Sometimes conflicts can be resolved, but they need to be based on mutual honesty.
Mother-in-law is not always right, and daughter-in-law is not always wrong.
To balance the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the husband's attitude is very important.
First, we need to establish a sense of family boundaries.
Everyone has their own preferences and lifestyle, there is no right or wrong, only whether it is suitable.
We don’t need to force each other to accept our own preferences, just like Zhou Lin’s mother asked her daughter-in-law to change the red sheets. It seems to be good for the other party, but in fact we want to change the other party’s preferences. An attitude like
is not advisable. We just need to live our own lives well. Only by seeking common ground while reserving differences can we be tolerant to produce the warmth of home.
Secondly, take the initiative to take the initiative in case of trouble, don't get rid of the mud.
Some men like to play with mud, but this is actually an escape mentality.
knows that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is tense, but she is unwilling to take responsibility, but just let it go. Over time, conflicts can easily intensify. The correct way to do
is to take the contradictions to yourself. For example, mothers like boys and urge their daughter-in-law to have another child. Sons can say, "Mom, boys and girls are the same. I like girls very much. I won’t give birth.” You see, a relaxed sentence shifts the focus of the conflict. The mother-in-law will not blame the daughter-in-law, and the wife is also pleased with her husband’s understanding and shows more respect for the elderly. A relationship like
is healthy. How can the family be unhappy when looking for reasons from each other.
When getting along with family members, don’t always use a magnifying glass to see each other’s shortcomings, but look at each other’s strengths, learn to understand and tolerate, and life naturally reveals a gentle side.
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