Xiaopan丨Emotional essay series Xiaopan talks about love Signing author original
What is happiness? Liu Yan didn't know, but she knew that happiness cannot be measured by money. But her mother didn't think so. When she grew up to 35 years old, her mother turned her away from her first love at the age of 22 to her most recent marriage that was about to be completed.
A few days ago, Liu Yan took his fiance back to his hometown. The wedding date of the two people was set for half a year. This time I went home to visit my sick mother. It was a good thing for family reunion. But when I got home, my mother mysteriously pulled Liu Yan into the bedroom and followed Liu Yan said that if the man wanted to marry Liu Yan, he would add another 200,000 gifts.
Liu Yan was stunned. When he got engaged, Liu Yan's family had already given a gift of 31,800 yuan in accordance with local customs, and also gave 20,000 yuan "three golds" on this basis. Why did my mother remember to ask for a bride price again? This kind of killing the carbine is not so ethical. Mother
said that she only learned from other people’s mouths in the past two days that these 30,000 colorful gifts are an old custom in the past. Now no one can marry a girl with one hundred thousand and two hundred thousand. Make people laugh.
Liu Yan said: “Mom, custom is custom, and it must be decided according to everyone’s family conditions. Not everyone can just put out 200,000 yuan.”
But Liu Yan’s mother clearly pointed out that she I know that the man’s 200,000 yuan can be taken out. Now I want to ask for one more to try the other's sincerity, and the other is for Liu Yan's sake. If the other party can give it, then Liu Yan's mother can only take one hundred thousand, and the remaining one hundred thousand can be given to Liu Yan. These words of mother
completely confused Liu Yan. No matter what her mother said, she was ashamed to speak to her fiance. In fact, she refused this marriage at the beginning, but her mother felt that the other party's family conditions were good, and she half forced Liu Yan to contact him. The more contact and the deeper understanding, she felt appropriate. Today we can be considered very close together.
People with better family conditions are most afraid of this kind of thing. If the heart is not enough, the mother's operation will definitely backfire. If the mother had asked for 200,000 gifts before the engagement, 99% of the fiancé’s family would actually agree, but now that everything has passed, it would be a bit of an answer.
looked at Liu Yan in embarrassment. Liu Yan's mother left the bedroom without saying a word and told Liu Yan's fiance directly about it. And here, Liu Yan knew from his father that it was not a whim at all that his mother wanted the money, nor was she envy or jealous of other people's beauties. It was her mother who wanted to add money to his brother's beauties.
These Liu Yan are on fire, and they are going to leave with their fiance. My mother was sick as well, and everyone colluded to trick her back, just to ask for money.
Liu Yan was very angry and said, "Mom, have you even disregarded my happiness for the sake of your younger brother? I have fallen in love no less than five times for so many years, but you didn't bother you with each other. You are too greedy, you I feel sorry for me too. I’m 35 years old. If I don’t marry, I really can’t get married. My brother is still young. He can make a hundred thousand dollars on his own. Why should we do it? Standing in front of you, you are making things difficult. Your future son-in-law is also your choice. Are you still not satisfied?"
Indeed, it is not that Liu Yan has never been in love in these years. On the contrary, she is actually very popular with boys. I remember that the first person she talked about back then, although the family conditions were not good, and there were three brothers and sisters in the family, he was very good. He received scholarships every year when he was in college, but my mother just looked down on it and had to force Liu Yan to break up. One is that the man’s family will be a drag in the future, and it will not benefit the three families.
Liu Yan was young at the time, and broke up after a stalemate with his mother for half a year. At that time, she felt that no matter what, her mother was a relative and would not harm her. If your boyfriend is gone, you can look for it again. If you make your mother angry, the gain is not worth the loss. The family conditions of the second target of
are OK. Both parents have pensions for employees, and it is not a problem to provide for the elderly in the future. However, the mother also dislikes this target's ability and cannot count on his parents in the future. Men must have the ability to support the family. It just so happened that Liu Yan was going to work in other places for a while, and after a long time, it would be gone. The third object of
, Liu Yan, likes it very much. But my mother still disagreed, on the grounds that she was too short to be worthy of Liu Yan. He threatened her with neither eating nor drinking. Liu Yan had to compromise again, this compromise made her delayFor 8 years.
She didn't feel the feeling of being in love again until her mother introduced her to her current fiance through an acquaintance. She is 35 years old and is no longer young. She has lived independently for so many years. In any case, she can't let her mother destroy the marriage. She takes her fiance and leaves without looking back.
But mother still reluctantly said behind her back that she would not take out the household registration book for two people to get the certificate. He also said that if Liu Yan did not listen to her, she would definitely make Liu Yan regret it.
Sure enough, within a few days, my mother was sent to the hospital for not eating or drinking. My mother also pretends to call her future relatives to discuss the re-giving of the bride price, threatening the other party both inside and outside, and if not, the marriage will fail.
Just like Liu Yan said, the other's family is not used to the mother's problem at all, and directly talked about retiring. He also said that the 318,000 bride price was no longer needed, and the two families assumed that they had never engaged in the marriage.
At the same time, Liu Yan's fiance also proposed to break up. He said: "Although I love you very much, marriage is not love, let alone a trifling matter. Now your mother's practice is obviously a trifling matter of marriage. Even if we get married, In the future, there will also be various conflicts between the two families. I think we are all nearly 40 years old. We all understand these principles." Liu Yan understands what the fiancé said and can understand. If it was her, she would do the same. After all, the two of them don't have a deep relationship foundation, and the other's family is also very good. It is really too easy to find a daughter-in-law younger than her. At the age of 35,
still missed the chance to get married. She doesn't know if she can get married in this life.
There are many older leftover women like Liu Yan. The reason why they do not marry may not be because they are not good enough, the conditions are not good enough, or the vision is high, but because the parents behind them have become a stumbling block on their marriage.
There are many cases where parents ruin the happiness of their children, but this is not a good phenomenon. As a parent, when choosing a partner for a daughter, one should not only look at the wealth of the other party, but also on the man’s character, sense of responsibility and potential. If you only look at money away from this, how is this different from "selling a daughter"?
Therefore, parents, please keep your eyes open and don't just confine your gains to short-term gains. If you want your daughter to be happy, you must truly play the role of parents, like a guiding light, to help your daughter achieve happiness.
END.
