"You order so much every time you eat, so why not order two plates of meat? I still have to pay the mortgage, do you know?"
This is a video I saw some time ago. A man talked to his girlfriend in a very embarrassed manner. He disliked that she ordered a lot of dishes every time she ate. It was very expensive and didn't know how to be frugal, which affected her mortgage payment. When
saw this video, I remembered a case that I took over last year. The girl’s boyfriend also felt that it was too expensive to be with her. Every month, he spent more than two thousand yuan on meals. , So proposed to break up.
The girl suspected that her boyfriend had someone outside, so she used such a "wonderful" reason to break up with herself, so she found me and wanted to know, is her boyfriend really breaking up with herself because of "money" ?
I believe that many women will have similar confusion:
men, do they really choose to give up a relationship because of "money"? For men, is "bread" really more important than "love"?
friends who often listen to my class should know that my answer to similar questions is affirmative!
is not to say that men value material conditions, but that men are always "realistic animals" and always "weigh the pros and cons".
· Before getting together
men will consider whether this woman fits with his three views? Is it possible to talk? Does this woman fit me well? What is the approximate probability of catching her?
· After being together,
men will consider whether this woman and his own life concepts, habits, and deeper thoughts on some details are similar to himself?
Does your own economic strength and consumption concept match the other party? What are the qualities of this woman suitable for marriage? It’s still only suitable for dating...
To be honest, a man thinks more than a woman in the process of falling in love with a woman, and they may have already considered whether or not to marry this woman. Measured.
So, if a man doesn't mean to you to get married, then he is just waiting for you to leave him first!
However, in the face of reality, no matter how many issues a man considers with you, it will basically be attributed to material conditions such as money. After all, money is the basis for maintaining your normal life.
From this point of view, men are more practical than women in love.
· As I mentioned in the case just now, this kind of "careful" and even "money" men, can women fall in love with such a person?
can! Very capable!
But when you fall in love with a man with this trait, you must pay attention to the following three conditions! If
is satisfied, it is a rare good man who is hardworking and thrifty. You are the only one who is not satisfied and suffers in the end!
1. Calculating carefully ≠ stingy
Calculating carefully, it means that this man hopes to spend every penny worthwhile and save unnecessary expenses.
But stingy saves it to the point where it is horrifying. Obviously you can save money and live a normal life, but you have to search for unnecessary things and sew and repair for three years. Obviously you have money. But he always lives like an era of scarce resources.
, especially the kind of men who are very stingy with women, everyone must pay attention! Such a man can't want it!
Because at the very least, you must ensure that this man is not stingy with you and is willing to pay for you, to protect your own original quality of life, and not to let yourself be wronged. Otherwise, what are you doing with him?
2. Plan carefully ≠ Scrooge
"People die for money, birds die for food". Although we have been making money to support our families throughout our lives, we have not read less about the "miser" stories that appeared in our textbooks. It is really not worth it if I would rather keep the money in death.
So, it depends on whether this "scheduled" man is worth relying on, and it depends on where he spends his money.
If he calculates carefully, it is to spend money on the blade, but he is more love for money on small things, but he is not at all ambiguous on big things, and the money that should be spent is never stingy.stingy. Then this man is worth relying on.
Besides, how can you tell if a man treats you sincerely? It depends on whether he is willing to give you what he lacks.
If you have no money, it depends on whether he is willing to spend money for you to make you happy; if you have money, it depends on whether he is willing to spare his precious time to make money to accompany you... and so on. For such a simple truth, I believe everyone All understand.
3. Calculate carefully ≠calculate
In order to protect one's own interests, it is inevitable for a man, especially a man who faces a complicated workplace relationship, to calculate others more or less.
However, you need to make sure that no one can count on you!
If he counts even you, thinking about how to maximize his own interests in his relationship with you, or he calculates everything he gives you and you give him very clearly.
always cares about who pays more money with you, or if you pay less, what kind of return should be paid accordingly.
Then advise you to hurry up and stay away from him, because this kind of man cares more about his own interests, not really love you!
The girl in the case I and I took over also analyzed it step by step in this way, but fortunately, her boyfriend is really a "careful" type, and hopes to save money to marry her.
So the next step is how this girl can redeem such a good man who "schedules" and can live his life, and the most important point is:
· For such a good man, how should everyone get along with him, Meet the different needs of the two of you at the same time?
1. Communicate frankly with each other's values and consumption views, and reach a consensus.
The girl I was consulting with, before meeting her boyfriend, I listed these 6 questions for her to communicate with her:
(1) You The good habit of budgeting is influenced more by whose family?
(2) What are your criteria and principles for careful calculation?
(3) What do you think is the benefit of careful planning?
(4) What do you think I did not plan carefully before? What do you want me to do
(5) What is my consumption concept since childhood, and how is it different from you?
(6) Are you willing to solve this problem together and have a consistent consumption outlook and careful calculation standards?
must understand and understand the concept and habits of the other party's careful planning, where they come from, and clearly know the other party's principles and bottom line for careful planning.
then based on the other party's standards and requirements for you to make a reasonable explanation for your previous behavior, so that the other party can also understand you in the same way, and realize that their own actions have also brought you harm.
Of course, the last and most important goal of communication is to see whether the other party is also willing to take a step back and develop a new and cost-effective standard that belongs to you.
Otherwise, if you are the only one to make concessions to cater to the other's needs, and if you wrong yourself, then this problem will never be resolved, and your feelings will always be affected by this matter.
2. The two sides are in the same step, the rewards and punishments are clear, pay attention to ensuring the fun of life
After you reach a consensus on the standard of careful calculation, you must work together for this standard, and you can set up a certain "reward and punishment mechanism".
For example, who bought unnecessary things today, or was too frugal, violated the standards set by the two, how much fine should be fined for your mutual love, dating fund, or other things to make up for.
uses this to help you supervise each other, and in this way, you can add freshness in your relationship.
In addition, what you need to agree on is that the standard of careful calculation must be based on satisfying your daily basic life and love interest.
Whatever wronged, you can't wronged your love.
And the reason why "love" and "bread" are difficult to make a choice is because they lack one in real lifeNot possible.
has no love, only bread. What is different from a miser, it is just a money-making machine without emotions;
has no money, only love, what can you do to solve basic life problems? If even life becomes a problem, how can a man fulfill his promise of happiness to you?
So, don't be blinded by love, the hormonal surge at that moment, there is nothing wrong with reality.
Be realistic. Think clearly about all the problems you will face. You are responsible for yourself and your relationship. Only a person who thinks clearly enough can maintain his own for a long time. feeling.
Do you want to know what your ex had of you? The one-minute test will let you know what TA wants to say to you most:
1. Do you quarrel about trivial things when you are together?
Yes, I often feel tired-skip to question 2
rarely quarrel over trivial matters-skip to question 2
occasionally, but quickly reconcile-skip to question 3
2 .Do you think you are a person who likes self-reflection and is willing to correct mistakes?
Yes —— Jump to question 3
No —— Jump to question 4
3. Will TA actively tell you his troubles?
often say-skip to question 5
not to say anything-skip to question 4
4. Would you tell your parents about the process of your relationship?
No matter the details, I often make complaints to my parents-skip to question 6
occasionally they ask them to talk about it-skip to question 5
hardly say, there is nothing to say-skip to 5 questions
5. Faced with what you want, how much energy are you willing to spend to obtain?
Everything is mine, and it is mine after all-jump to question 7
and work hard, maybe you can succeed-jump to question 6
try my best, I will get everything I want-B
6 Did you break up because of a third party?
yes-A
no-skip to question 7
7. Has the other party contacted you actively after breaking up?
Yes-D
No-C
What is your final answer? Is it A, B, C or D?
