Author: Yuchun Di lawyer, divorce lawyer Wang Youbai Guangzhou divorce lawyers core team members, focusing on the field of marriage and family
recently India has a movie about marriage and family caused concern of many people, the name of the movie is called "slap in the face." The heroine Emine gives up her hobbies and work for her husband and family. She puts all the focus on her husband. Get up at six o'clock every day to make coffee and make breakfast for her husband, measure blood pressure and blood sugar for mother-in-law on time every day, keep everything in the house in order, and be full of vitality and happy every day.
Until one day, the male protagonist held a celebration banquet at home to celebrate his promotion. During the celebration banquet, the male protagonist was suddenly told that the promotion quota was changed. So in the process of arguing with the leader, he slapped his wife Eminem who came to persuade him. At that time Eminem felt the whole world was still, and her whole world collapsed. But none of the people at the celebration banquet came to comfort Eminem. Everyone thought it was a trivial matter.
But it was like a needle sticking to Eminem's body. From that slap in the face, Eminem was no longer as energetic as before to meet the daily work, nor did he raise any smiles to her husband. Eminem also moved back to her natal family for this, and carefully reviewed the marriage and everything he had done for the family. After the incident, the husband never apologized to him, only that Eminem as a wife should know his hard work and the importance of work to him, and should not make this slap in the face. And Eminem's mother is also admonishing Eminem: "Women must learn to tolerate to maintain family harmony, and people must suppress their feelings" and should not divorce for this slap. But Eminem insists on his attitude!
"I love him very much. To love him, I can give up my career and my hobbies, but he can’t disrespect me. We are equal. He can’t beat me, not once. Since that slap, I Just know we are over." This is what Eminem said to a more reputable local feminist lawyer. The movie
has caused great controversy in India and even throughout Asia, because a slap is a trivial matter in the eyes of many people, and it should not go to the point of divorce. After watching the movie, I also interviewed a few male and female friends around me. Most of them thought that being slapped would not necessarily lead to a divorce.
But I think the heroine of this movie, Eminem, has done nothing wrong, because she knows how to respect herself and understand that marriage is equal. She is not an accessory to marriage and a vent to her husband's emotions. She only recognized her position in her husband's heart after this slap in the face, and understood that everything she paid at home was taken for granted by her husband and was not respected at all.
A woman who dedicated everything she has to the family, but in the end she became a woman who could be slapped in the face, so she resisted!
In addition, during the National Day TV series "Dear Myself", there is also a well-discussed housewife character "Zhang Zhizhi", who works outside during the day and takes care of the children, husband, and all the affairs of the family after get off work. All my clothes and cosmetics are bought cheaply through Taobao, and all my time and energy are devoted to my husband and family. Instead of seeing any of her contributions, her husband disliked his wife’s outsourcing to raise a mistress. He also arbitrarily took care of his wife for the mistress, and felt no guilt for his cheating. This is the best scumbag, and this is the sorrow of the housewife.
It can be seen from the movie "Slap" and the TV series "Dear Myself" that most people ignore or ignore the "high risk" nature of housewives. The position of housewives is not protected by law and is not recognized by society. The only reliance is the husband. If your husband does not have a conscience, he is outsourcing his third or fourth child, or ignores your efforts at home and commits domestic violence against you, then you don't even have the only protection.
Therefore, as women in the 21st century, we should face our own value, know how to respect and cherish ourselves, and not be a man or an accessory in marriage.
First, learn to respect and cherish yourself. Women, you really have to learn to love and respect yourself, then you will get the respect and love of others. If you don’t know how to dress yourself up every day, you will only buy 39, 59, 79 yuan clothes or cosmetics on the roadside or Taobao to decorate yourself. Over time, your husband will think that you are only worthy of such things, let alone. Will respect and cherish you. And hereIn this kind of marriage, you will get cheaper!
Second, don't give up your hobbies and work. You can be willing to be a housewife for love and family, but don't give up your hobbies, and you also need more communication. Don't let all your space and thinking be limited to the firewood, rice, oil, salt, sauce and vinegar at home. The best way is to stick to work, even if the salary is not high, but at least it can prove that you have the ability to make money, so that even if you are betrayed by your spouse, then you have enough courage and ability to bear and face all this.
Third, you must learn to be independent before or after marriage. This independence is not only economic independence, but also spiritual independence. You can turn like a top for the family like the heroine Eminem in the movie "Slap", but at the same time you are an independent individual. While facing the disrespect of the other party, you need the courage to resist, not one. Ambiguous compromise. Think about your own value independently, control your own destiny independently, and don't be an accessory to anyone. In fact, women in the 21st century will not say that they are all dependent on men for their livelihoods, and more and more independent women are emerging. Many people say: "If the marriage is not happy and I can live well, why do I need a man?" This is the embodiment of independence.
I have done a lot of cases. Women really asked for a divorce, not because the man had an affair or domestic violence. In fact, in many cases, it is precisely because of the disrespect of the other party and the long-term backlog of trivial matters in life that completely defeat the last line of defense in the marriage, and the marriage of both parties cannot be restored.
Therefore, a slap in the face does not seem like a big deal, but it becomes the key to irreversible marriage. Because this slap shattered a wife's expectations of her husband and family, it also made a wife's dedication and dedication to the family regarded as a joke. Respect and equality are both details that cannot be ignored in marriage. Please cherish if you love, and learn to respect if you do not love.
