"Become the self in the heart"
B EYOURS E LF
In a happy relationship, the more you come into contact, the more you want to withdraw. In any case, you can't take a deeper step to stop the quagmire of self-struggle.
In fact, this is caused by your "defensive mechanism" being too strong!
First of all, what is a defensive mechanism? The psychological defense mechanism of
was first proposed by Freud.
refers to the adaptive tendency of individuals to consciously or unconsciously relieve their worries in their internal psychological activities when they are faced with a stressful situation of setbacks or conflicts, reduce their inner anxiety, and restore psychological balance and stability.
common psychological defense mechanism is divided into:
deny
isolation
latent inhibition
reverse form
sublimation
rationalization
compensation
humor
positive psychological defense will bring you good feedback, and we appear in a relationship The inferiority complex and avoidance are a kind of reverse psychological defense!
When we are in love, we have strong psychological defenses, we seem to become vulnerable and sensitive, and the love castle is also at risk.
1. Inferiority in my own appearance
Am I not in line with his ideal type? I'm not beautiful enough, I'm not good enough, and there are so many good-looking women around him, am I better off breaking up with him?
2. Inferiority to my own ability
I am not very good at expression, I am not very talented in learning things, and I am not so prominent at work. What advantages do I have?
3. Sensitive and suspicious of all actions
Did he communicate a lot with other women today?
Does he think I can't compare to others?
Is he out of interest today? He doesn't even know if
is my topic?
...
's excessive psychological defenses in love have led to magnification of their shortcomings, and even serious psychological imbalances, leading to an unhealthy direction of love!
Over time, it will form an extremely longing to be loved but not daring to love, and the mood continues to fall...
We need to pay attention! This psychology can be overcome! We are all worthy of being loved, and we can also be brave to love
What should we do?
1. Affirm your self-worth
First determine what you are, face your strengths and weaknesses, and never stop pursuing your ideal self.
Lovers love ourselves first, we must find our own value first, and then when we identify with ourselves, we can get closer to the us in the heart.
2. Imperfect the romantic feeling created by the other party
in love can easily make us perfect our spouse, which will have two consequences, the first one leads to our picky eyes on each other and constant contradictions in love;
second This causes us to have a serious inferiority complex and fear the communication between the two. Therefore, not perfecting each other can make both parties in love an equal part of the relationship.
3. Maintain more healthy communication between the two sides.
Love is better than the process of polishing a stone. It takes time to sculpt a delicate sculpture.
communicate more with each other about your thoughts. A good spouse is also a dedicated listener, speaking up our problems and letting the other party know our thoughts.
4. Try two people to do constructive things together
The two can try to do handicrafts, or participate in each other's work and life.
Many times, our inferiority complex in love is caused by our lack of presence in each other’s lives. Try to achieve a sense of cooperation between two people in completing things or participating in tasks together, and find the value of both parties in each other.
5. When encountering problems, not projecting the problem to the individual
Problems in love are commonplace. When encountering problems, our first task is to analyze the problem and try to solve the problem.
Most of the problems in love are solvable, and the inferiority complex during love can easily cause the problem to be attributed to the individual, and dare not face the problem directly, so if you encounter a problem, solve the problem.
6. Leaving room for both sides
low self-esteem can produce serious insecurity, so that they will continue to ask questions in an approaching manner, and constantly determine the other's love, but often fall into mutual self-doubt.
Therefore, it is necessary to leave room for both parties, trust each other, reduce unnecessary desire for control, and keep the relationship in a comfortable position.
Of course, the reason for all of this is whether we have found the ideal person we like and is he worthy of trust? Is he a good man! Can he calmly face the common problems encountered?
Love is an umbrella for each other!
hope that girls with inferiority complex in love will face themselves bravely, confidently and calmly embrace the people they like!
