Whenever I see the family talking and laughing on the side of the road, and everyone’s face is filled with happiness, they will be infected by this happiness. A happy family will make every member of it feel loved and loved.
The ancients once said this sentence: "A family can't accommodate three surnames." Which three surnames are you referring to here?
a family cannot accommodate three surnames
literally, this sentence means that in a family, family members cannot have more than three surnames, otherwise, many conflicts will arise. The "three" here is not a specific number, it means three or more. The earliest origin of
actually goes back to the Qin Dynasty. During Qin Shihuang's reign, he issued a household division order. It stipulates that "father and son brothers cannot live in the same house.
Qin Shihuang did this in order to increase the country's taxation, because at that time the taxation was based on each family. Therefore, after the separation of brothers, father and son, taxes will naturally increase accordingly.
Secondly, it is also to distinguish the customs of Yi and Di. Let the people of the Qin country follow the Central Plains to improve their cultural literacy.
Jia Mansion in "Dream of Red Mansions"
Friends who have watched "Dream of Red Mansions" must know that Jia Mansion is a distinguished family with outstanding meritorious service, but as time goes by, the family strength is declining. Why is that? One of the most important reasons for
is the conflict between family members. The contradiction between the master and servant, the contradiction between the big room and the second room, the contradiction between the main room and the side room, the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, etc.
Among them, Sister Feng used her identity as a housekeeper to secretly use public funds to put stamps, and unknowingly put the interest in her pocket. When Jia Rong and Jia Qiang were building the Grand View Garden, they were responsible for hiring teachers in Gusu and buying girls’ outfits and musical instruments.
At that time, Jia Rong quietly signaled to Sister Feng: "Auntie wants something, tell me to bill Brother Qiang and bring it to him, so that he can buy it according to the account." Besides, Rong Qiang didn't know that she was spending this opportunity. How many tricks did you do.
and sister Feng and Mrs. Xing. The two are mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but Sister Feng never puts Mrs. Xing in his eyes. Because Sister Feng and aunt are both surnamed Wang, the two have been cooperating secretly.
In fact, these are one of the reasons that accelerated the demise of Jia Mansion. Although Jia's surname is Jia, the girls and wives who later live in Daguanyuan have different surnames. A group of people with different families and different surnames live together, and open and secret fights will naturally increase. This will lead to family disharmony, and there is no way to live well.
Why can't a family have three surnames?
1, reorganization of the family
said directly, it is the second marriage family. Maybe the second marriage is not surprising to people today. And now many second-married families are with children. At this time, three surnames will appear in a family.
In fact, this situation is very embarrassing. After all, he is a child who has no blood relationship with him, but he has to take care of his emotions and life. Many people still have some feelings of resistance.
Especially for women, stepmother is not so easy to be. The control is too tight, saying bullying the child. It's too loose to manage, and it's a feat. It's hard to be a man. In fact, this is also detrimental to the harmony of the relationship between husband and wife, and it can also cause irreparable harm to the child.
Therefore, after the reorganization of the family, both parties must have enough patience and sufficient tolerance and understanding of each other. Only in this way can we maintain this home well and allow children to accept themselves slowly.
2, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law live together
The ancients often said: "It is hard for an upright official to break housework", not to mention this is a matter between two women. This test is not only the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law, but also the son in between. Anything wrong with
will make you innocent inside and outside. Your wife will think that you are a "mother boy", and your mother will think that you have forgotten your mother. Therefore, it is inevitable that there will be some conflicts between the three surnames of son, mother, and wife.
Since ancient times, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has been that everyoneProblems that will come and feel headaches. In this triangle relationship, the daughter-in-law will feel that her husband should love herself and take care of her feelings after marrying herself. But the mother-in-law thinks that the son was born by herself, and she is an old man with rich life experience, so she should listen more to her.
conflicts will occur at this time, and once such conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law happen, it will take a long time to get better. There are even some conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and a trouble is for a lifetime, and men become sandwich cakes.
Therefore, the best way is for the son to move out after marriage. This is the most appropriate and sensible way. Of course, the son should also play a good role as a bridge in the middle, playing the role of husband and son. Communicate more and find a good balance.
Practical significance
is actually the phrase "a family cannot accommodate three surnames". In the final analysis, it means that a family of two generations enjoys a happy life. It is best to have the blood of close relatives. Once other surnames are produced, problems will inevitably arise. Such a situation as
did exist in ancient times. Because of the outdated concept, people will over-exaggerate the importance of blood relationship. But today, people have gradually realized the importance of family harmony, which must be maintained by all people, not a single blood relationship.
Of course, this is also telling us, to cherish our marriage, more understanding, more tolerance, everything will be solved. The harmony of the family is not to be seen by others, so that every family member can feel the warmth and joy of the family, this is the real harmony.
