The sunset in the early autumn evening is clear and beautiful. In the black wicker chair of the roadside cafe, sitting in front of the author is a well-dressed, gentle-faced, slender woman, who looks very young. She is today's protagonist-the female teacher who gave birth to unmarried children. She chose to tell her story in front of the author for the world to watch.
The author : What kind of woman do you think you are?
Female teacher : I used to be a simple, innocent, fanciful female teacher.
The author : How did you give birth out of wedlock?
Female teacher : In May 2016, I met a man from Guangdong who invested in a private high school in this city. When I met him, this private high school had stopped enrolling students and was on the verge of bankruptcy. He had just divorced at that time, and he often accused me of ruining the school because of his greed. He said that he wanted to do private education. This is his dream. With a selfless heart, I plan to accompany him to make a comeback.
But in October 2016, I found out that I was pregnant by accident. When I told the Guangdong man the news for the first time, he did not have the overjoyed reaction I imagined. He asked what I planned to do, and my answer was to give birth. He said that he could not get married for the time being because the property lawsuit with his ex-wife and the school issue had not been settled. I said empathetically, I can resign Mr. and get down with the child and get married after he finishes handling the matter.
In this way, I was pregnant in October, I was alone for the checkup, and I was alone when I quit and rented a house. Until a month before the birth, the man who had secretly ran back to Guangdong told me that he could not come back to give birth with me. I was very disappointed in my heart, but the matter is now so I can only bite the bullet and go on. In July 2017, I gave birth to my child, and there is always hope in my heart that he will come back to pick us up one day.
The child is half a year old, and one month after another, he promised to come back and have a look, but he never showed up. By the eighth month of the child, he broke the maintenance fee and deleted the WeChat contact. When I was desperate and struggling to support me, my aunt who loved me showed up. She came forward to persuade my parents to accept me and take the children back to my hometown.
The author : How do your parents think about having children out of wedlock? Can you accept this completely? Z1z
should have been accepted incompletely. I took the wrong path, which affected my family and was criticized by the villagers. After spending the Chinese New Year at home in 2018, I left my child behind and returned to the original city alone to find a job again. Through my hard work, I went to work in a new school. I cherished the opportunity to go back to work and worked hard to express myself. At the same time, my heart is always filled with anxiety. I am afraid that the school will know about my unmarried child, and I am afraid of my colleagues' strange eyes.
At the same time, the parents in my hometown have also endured too many eyes from the same village and asked about the child's origin. The parents finally became angry with me and were no longer willing to help me with the child. Under such pressure, my already fragile mentality is even more vulnerable.
The author : After you were tricked into giving birth to a child and then abandoned by a man, did you have a vigilant and defensive mentality against men?
Female teacher : No. At this time, I met a man from Hengxian on Jiayuan.com. The man learned about my situation and agreed to accept my child. I was moved. Soon afterwards, the man asked me to borrow money one after another on the grounds of business turnover, and I met all the requirements, in order to pick up the child to live in the city early and openly, in order to give the child a complete family. I bet on the men in Heng County. I have been dating for almost a year, and I went to the house to talk about marriage. At the same time, I also transferred hundreds of thousands of working capital to men in Heng County. However, the day before the appointment to register the marriage, this man came to the school to find me. He had a showdown with me. He said that he owed a lot of debts, including usury. If I married him, I would live better than death. day. Finally he wrote me an IOU and promised to pay me back slowly.
This is the first time I was deceived because of a child. I haven't learned a lesson from it. After four months, I have a truly devastating blow in my life. A man who is a fellow villager with me knows my past and experience. He patted his chest and said that he will accept my child and be the father of the child. After getting to know him for a month, he asked me to pick up my child from my hometownWhen the child came out to bring him, he asked the child to call him father. I'm completely stuck again. I think I have found support, and the child has a yelling father. I can live upright, without the pressure of having children out of wedlock, and worry about losing my favorite education job.
However, this time I was completely beaten into hell. This fellow man, who lived with me as a husband and wife for less than a year, fabricated various excuses and asked me to use my credit card, online loans, and borrowed twenty. Do million to him. When the lie was exposed, I finally found out that he and the Hengxian man are the same, no proper job, debt, so lofty, and they are both men who are bragging to the sky.
Today, with the debt of more than 300,000 yuan, I am already unable to raise my child. The child is temporarily fostered by relatives. I don't know where my life will go. I wake up every night, and the next day I force a smile to teach the students. I don't know how sinister the human heart is. There is no word in this world to describe it. I am no longer afraid of ghosts. Ghosts will always be ghosts, but sometimes people may not be people. People are far more terrifying than ghosts, they can reverse right from wrong, and they can lie to your face every day.
Author : What is your summary of these few emotional experiences of failure and deception?
Female teacher : During this period of time, life is better than death, and I have to undergo a reincarnation several times a day. After learning from the painful experience, I carefully analyzed these emotional experiences of failure and deception. The reason is that I do not have the ability to think independently, I have no defense and vigilance towards strangers, and the naive fantasy and desire for love, which put love in a beautiful coat. , Losing rational judgment is the biggest reason why I have been deceived one after another over the years. Secondly, I personally rely on a serious mentality. If I were able to face reality bravely and fully assume the responsibility of raising children when I made the first wrong decision, perhaps I would not have come into contact with men who cheated me.
The author : How will you arrange the repayment of planning debts and the raising of children?
Female teacher : First, I started a lawsuit with these two men, and then I had to do more part-time jobs during my break time to pay off debts slowly. Children can only be temporarily fostered with relatives.
Conclusion : After listening to the experience of this young female teacher, the author's heart is extremely heavy and embarrassing. I can’t help but think of a sentence in the "Mug" of "The Book of Songs": "You are a woman, and you can't be a scholar! You can talk about a scholar who is afraid. You can't talk about a woman." The meaning of this poem. Yes: Hey, young girls, don't indulge in love with men. Men who are indulged in love can get away. A woman who is indulged in love can't get rid of it. The author here also makes an appeal: young girls, in the modern fast-food dating environment, don't be too anxious, don't be too impatient, be sensible and think again. I hope that every girl who has a good heart can cultivate in the marriage and love market, distinguish the true from the false, abandon the dross, prefer not to abuse, even if it is single for a lifetime, is it not fragrant?
