01
Actually, I have heard what men say, when they are looking for a marriage partner, even if they are divorced, they still want to find an unmarried person.
As a rational animal, men have many, many practical problems that they can’t think of, and there is a saying about the other side of men:
"All men want to be the first man who loves a woman; a woman I want to be the last woman of my beloved man."
From here, we can see that men’s emotional "cleanliness" is almost due to their nature, especially the relationship history and past of their marriage partner.
So there will be two situations.
1. Unless I am really attracted to you, I love you so much that I can’t extricate myself from it. Otherwise, I’m still picking and weighing the pros and cons, and finally choose the one that feels good. The most important thing is the situation of the woman, which is relatively the most Ok.
In other words, he may just pay three points to perfuse with you, keep the relationship for a while, as his own way of retreat, once the conditions are good, not married, immediately draw a clear line with you.
2 After confirming the relationship, I learned that his girlfriend had a history of marriage, so his enthusiasm and the degree of love will be greatly reduced because of this truth, but it is not shown. Z2z
put it plainly, unless it is true love, otherwise when there is a better choice, you will definitely choose a better one. Even if
chooses someone in the end, it is not necessarily because of true love, but it may also be the capital and confidence he did not choose. If
is only divorced, it has already made them mind. Bringing children with them is beyond doubt. They generally have two practical considerations or scruples.
1. Considering the pressure of marriage and life, there is one more child to raise.
2. Worried that when the child grows up, he will still kiss his biological father, and even worried that he will treat the child as his own since childhood. As a result, when the child grows up, or is in the rebellious period, because he is dissatisfied with his discipline, he yells: "You No matter how old you are, my relatives don’t care about me.”
So it’s not prejudiced against divorced women. When looking for a remarriage partner, love may be your only advantage. If you are realistic, men will only be more realistic.
And if it is because of the combination of real conditions, after marriage, there may only be the name of the husband and wife, but not the fact of the husband and wife, it depends on whether it is acceptable to you.
If you want to find a good partner if you can accept it, the premise is that you also have the same value. Value equivalence is the key, including the value it can bring to him. What
mainly wants to say is that once you meet someone who truly loves you, you must cherish it, and you must not rely on his love to be unscrupulous and impulsive, because there are not many people who can meet who truly love you.
02
saw a post on the Internet and asked: divorced and brought a child, and talked about a boyfriend who wants to get married. Is it appropriate for my mother to pay 200,000 as a gift?
Regardless of the emotional status of the two young people, he said that the mother's motive for asking for a 200,000 gift, the first thing I can think of is purely for my own sake. Although it is a bit extreme, it is not impossible. What is the situation of the daughter of
, she knows very well in her heart that she has a child when she is divorced, and the life in front of her is already overwhelming. Once she remarries, the energy, time and money that can be allocated to herself will be very small. If the couple decides to have a new life For a child, life after marriage is even more trivial. So
has the motive to ask for 200,000 beauties. Since the daughter of can't count on it anymore, she simply uses this to make a fortune to support herself. There is another possibility for
. I hope that my daughter will be taken seriously after marriage, so that the man feels that this is a costly marriage and dare not divorce easily.
has to say that this is not a "smart" motive. If the man's financial situation is limited, then the 200,000 gift is a deliberate embarrassment. Even if all the pieces are made up, it is difficult to guarantee that the man will be married. I don’t hold a grudge, maybe my grievances can’t be vented to this mother, but what about my daughter?
If the man can barely get it, it will directly affect the quality of life of the two people after marriage.
is the best possible, the man’s financial situation is very good, but even if the man doesn’t care, wouldn’t his parents care? Even if you are married, you will still have the opinion that this marriage is helping the poor and that the other party’s family system is poisonous, and then the family will guard against their daughters.
So, is it appropriate to ask for 200,000 gifts? Obviously, once you really ask for this gift, you will undoubtedly push yourself into the abyss.
03
As a daughter, it is filial piety, but filial piety is not filial piety. You must listen to your parents’ opinions on matters of marriage, but your parents’ opinions are not all right. You must know that your parents can help you make decisions, but they cannot live for you.
As a woman, you should first consider your own emotions, after all, that is someone who has to accompany you through the rest of your life, and whether that man is worth entrusting for life.
As a mother, you should mainly consider the character of the other person, consider whether the family you have formed can give the child a good growth environment, and how he usually handles things, from which you can see his temperament.
As a divorced woman, you have experienced real life, so you should know what you want and how to live in the future.
In fact, two kinds of voices are often heard on the question of whether a woman should ask for a bride price when she remarries.
One kind is that it shouldn't be necessary. Once you ask for a bride price, you don't really want to live a life. Divorced women should be based on real life. The other is that if you don't want a bonus, it seems that you are too cheap, and you have no place in your in-laws after marriage.
If the situation permits, I think the bride price can be requested, but it should not be too much. In fact, if the bride price is really required, it should only be a form, auspiciousness and meaning, and it must not make the bride price lose its original meaning. Whether is a betrothal or a dowry, it should be used or stored ready to be used for home construction, and cannot be taken as one's own.
After all, remarried couples also need to be blessed. In addition, through the wedding gift, you can also see many things clearly.
For a divorced woman, you must have your own opinion and be able to understand clearly. When you start thinking about leaving yourself a way out, the beginning is also the end.
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